What is too early or too late?

ncarter0866

My FI and I are getting married on 11/11/11. We have decided to have a Jack and Jill instead of a shower. I'm just trying to figure out when we do it. I don't want it to be too close but I also don't know how early is too early. We have 2 other weddings and showers to attend in the two months before ours and I do not want to interfere with their plans since one is a family member and the other is a close friend of ours. Thoughts?

lizstill13

One thing: You shouldn't be planning your own shower, even a coed shower. It looks gift grabby. A shower is a gift to you from whomever wants to host it. Thus, your question is irrelevant.

ncarter0866

I'm not planning, my parents are putting it on but i do have a say in the date since it is not a surprise.

lizstill13

Well then you should have clarified, because your "we have decided" sounded like you and your FI. It sounds like it should be an engagement party and not a shower if your parents are hosting. In that case any time now would be good.

If you still want to do the Jack and Jill shower, anywhere from 1 month to 3 months out would be okay. Any closer and people may not want to travel to both.

SuMmErKuTiE

You're still over a year and a half out, there is more than enough time to hash out the details of the shower. My mom and MOH didn't start discussing the shower until about a month a half ago. They just asked me for a list of the ladies I wanted to attend so they could find a venue for that number and send out invites. Normally showers are held about 1-2 months out from the wedding. Mine will be a month and 4 days before the wedding.

Since you're concerned of interfering with the other two showers, maybe you can hold something in late summer or on Labor Day weekend to celebrate. But even a year from now the plans still wouldn't really be coming into play yet I would assume.. November 2011 is still pretty far out from now.

MyNameIsNot

Showers are usually about 6 weeks before the wedding, so it would be in September/October, 2011.  Remember, you should have no involvement in planning or organizing this.  

BeachBride310

I dont think there is any problem with you helping your parents plan this. As long as they are "hosting" it for you. My Mom always asks for my input on things so she gets them how I like it, seeing as it is held in my honor and for me... she likes it to reflect me. She also does not know many of my friends and wants to make them as comfortable as possible, so my input matters. That being said. I am not saying it is proper etiquitte, I am not saying it is how it should be done. I am just saying it is how I personally do it.

I would try to have each shower about a month apart if possible. Just so people who are invited to all of them don't get overloaded and still have time to do other things in their life.  How far apart are your weddings?

Again this is all just OPINION...

Cat

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_early-late?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:25b8117e-bc4b-4bcb-876e-213a4cff4295Post:18546ee5-9cb4-43d3-8371-01813d12781b">Re: What is too early or too late?</a>:
[QUOTE] I would try to have each shower about a month apart if possible. <strong>Just so people who are invited to all of them don't get overloaded and still have time to do other things in their life.</strong>  How far apart are your weddings? Again this is all just OPINION... Cat
Posted by BeachBride310[/QUOTE]

People should only be invited to one shower.

ncarter0866

Thanks Cat, I agree 100%, I am the same way with my mom about things like this. I think the plan is the have the Jack and Jill August 13, 2011 (the wedding invitations will go out about 1-2 weeks before this). A friend of the familys wedding is August 27th, the FI's mother is getting married on September 10th, and our wedding is November 11th. I feel like if the Jack and Jill is planned for the end of Sept or Oct it will be too close to the wedding itself because a lot of the same people will be at all three events but that is just my opinion.

BeachBride310

Talk about a busy wedding season there!!! I think you have a good spacing for your parties/weddings. Plus with having your wedding in Nov. people will have time to recover from all the others. Plus it does not seem like you will be stepping on FI's mom's toes and her planning, since it is Jack and Jill maybe she can enjoy seeing her son enjoy his party too....

Good luck to you both... Im dying to know how it turns out

debdebdol

I'm such a control freak that I want to help with the planning.  I want to help with the cooking, decorating, etc.

I also have $350 in PartyLite credit that I want to use up.   What better way than to use that toward buying votives to serve as favors for the shower. 

BeachBride310

Wow that is a huge credit... but what a great idea to use it for!!! Hmmm I might have to have a few parties soon.

Cat

BeachBride310

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_early-late?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:25b8117e-bc4b-4bcb-876e-213a4cff4295Post:f5cbd6c5-5886-4409-8601-bc0d95f59604">Re: What is too early or too late?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is too early or too late? : People should only be invited to one shower.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]


If you read above, you would have seen that the showers were all for different couples. Not just her.

Cat