Rehearsal Dinner- Where do you draw the line?

woodsandminkin

This seems to be a popular topic on here today. Here's my dilemma- my in-laws are just giving us a lump sum of money to use toward our wedding where we choose. Because all of FI's family is from out of town, they figured it would be best if they didn't handle the RD. So, my wonderful father is basically doing all the leg work. I am trying to come up with an approximate number of guests, but I am trying to decide where to draw the line. Lots of people invite OOT guests, but that is about 90% of my guest list, so that would basically mean I'm having two receptions. I know obviously my wedding party and their significant others and anyone else involved in the actual ceremony. My question is what family members do you invite? I've got the obvious parents and grandparents. Do I draw the line there? I have aunts and uncles, but I have 4 of them, all of whom are married and have children. I really wanted this to be a small, relaxed gathering, so I'm just looking for everyone else's input. What did you do or what would you do?

SaraAndrew2010

I don't think you need to invite aunts and uncles.  I would draw the line at parents, grandparents, wedding party, ceremony participants, and SOs.

woodsandminkin

Next question- I know you aren't technically supposed to invite significant others, but our dilemma is that I am friends with most of the groomsmen's girlfriends and they will all be traveling from out of town. Should they be invited too? I'm imagining they are probably expecting to be.

junebug62511

We are inviting everyone from the ceremony and their signifacant others. I think anyone else would be overkill(well besides grandparents). I want to keep it small and intimate. This is a way to thank your bridal party so inviting anyone else wouldn't make much sense.

marissa_claire

I think in your case it would be fine to just have WP, WP dates, parents and grandparents.  If you wanted to, I don't think it would be a bad idea to order pizza to have back at the hotel for all of the out of town guests.  Just a thought!

Kristin789

>>Lots of people invite OOT guests

I don't think so.  I've never heard of this in real life.

You invite the people involved in the rehearsal, and their SOs, and your parents and grandparents, and FI's parents and grandparents.

banana468

Kristin, just because you haven't heard of it does not mean that it isn't done in other areas.  Please remember that.

You state that you live in an area that is VERY old school when it comes to etiquette.  Please recognize that when you start spouting off things like that.  In many circles, it's coming to be more than appropriate to invite OOT guests to the RD.

banana468

Exactly Stage. 

Some circles are also coming to expect it.  I don't know that you can argue that the expectation is "right" but in many circles, that's what is done for the OOTers.

When BIL was married, MIL and FIL invited all the OOTers to the RD.  Everyone from the family traveled from CT to OH (and some from even further away than that).  That's what they felt was appropriate.