Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower Etiquette

My fiance and I are having a very small wedding....35 max guests (mostly out of town family).  We are paying for the wedding on our own so we kept the invite list small to stay within our budget.   I hadn't thought about having a shower since the wedding is small and most of the female family members wouldn't be able to come....there would only be 3 local girls that could come that are invited to the wedding.  My friend, who has offered to help the MOH throw a shower, has suggested that we invite all my friends, even if the friends aren't invited to the wedding.  She said a lot of the girls would still like to celebrate with me even though they're not invited to the wedding.  I am a little uncomfortable with this because I don't want the girls to feel I'm inviting them to a shower just to get gifts.  Two questions:  Is it appropriate to invite all my friends to the shower even though they're not invited to the wedding?  Can I have the MOH put on the shower invitations "No gifts required" so they don't feel obligated to bring anything?

Re: Bridal Shower Etiquette

  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Stick to your gut feelings on this.  It's really poor etiquette to invite anyone to a pre-wedding party like a shower if they aren't invited to the wedding.  And you can't put "no gifts" on the shower invitation because the whole point of a shower is to "shower the bride with gifts."
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Agreed with Dani.

    You can have a party with them, but not a shower, which is a gift-giving event. Do not have the party be wedding-related. To be REALLY safe, do it after the wedding.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Only people who are invited to the wedding are invited to pre-wedding parties.
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Ditto the other ladies.  Only the people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower.

  • dianenjnjdianenjnj member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    no they shouldn't be invited to a shower when not invited to the wedding.  that being said, your moh can have a little get together for you...just call it a celebration for you to see all your friends with no mention of registry or gifts...
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-shower-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:42ae2300-65da-48b4-8174-7a099900f93cPost:6d84950d-e8ca-43d3-971f-e4fe9f6889bc">Re: Bridal Shower Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]no they shouldn't be invited to a shower when not invited to the wedding.  that being said, your moh can have a little get together for you...just call it a celebration for you to see all your friends with no mention of registry or gifts...
    Posted by dianenjnj[/QUOTE]

    Or the wedding. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards