Invitations to all BMs for all showers?

alliesono

Hello! New to this board, but I have a question that's been bugging me for a while:

My FMIL is hosting a bridal shower for me and has asked me who I would like to invite. FSIL (her daughter) is a bridesmaid, so will obviously be invited, as will MOH, who lives only about an hour's drive away from FMIL's town.

My question is: my other two bridesmaids live out of state and I am almost certain they would decline the invitation since it wouldn't be practical for them to travel that far for just a bridal shower (one BM lives in CA; FMIL lives in WI). Should I let FMIL know to send them invitations anyway? I don't want to make them feel guilty for not being able to attend. MOH is hosting another bridal shower later, which will be around Christmas time and will probably be more convenient for them since they would be in town visiting family anyway.

Should the bridal party get invitations to all shower even if I know they won't be able to attend?

Thank you!

banana468

The bride's attendants and moms are generally invited to all showers as a courtesy. 

usc03

I don't think bridesmaids need to be invited...I wasn't invited to my sister-in-law's bridal showers outside of the one my mom's friends threw for her (I was a bridesmaid and lived about 12 hrs away), nor were her other bridesmaids invited to the shower my mom's friends threw for her.  I would say if the bridesmaids are local to the shower, then invite them, otherwise, they aren't expecting an invite.  

I was MOH for my friend and I threw her a shower but I wasn't invited to the showers thrown for her by other people (though usually the MOH is).  Trust me, I wasn't offended at all!

brandibooh

I would invite them all, but also stress to them that they don't have to bring a gift to all of them or bring one at all.

PharmacyBride

Invites to all BMs are very common.  I have 2 OOT BMs too and more than one shower.. they will get invited to both.  I made sure my BMs understood they didn't have to go all out with a gift or go out of the way to be there.

allgreek2me2

i would invite them all.  if they ask if they have to be there you should say no.  just if it is convenient.

Congdonington

I believe you should always invite your BMs and other important women even if you know they can't come. It makes them feel included, but if you're worried that they'll feel guilty or responsible for getting a gift, just call them up and let them know how you feel.

I'll be facing those decisions as my family and friends live all over the world, but I want to let them know that I'm always thinking of them.

No one likes not to be invited!

miaka51

I think as long as they will be invited to ONE its not such a big deal.  I couldn't make it to my best friend's bridal shower (she lives in CA, and I live in WI so same issue just reversed) and I felt REALLY bad.  She only had one so I was kinda stuck but i definitely felt obligated to send oodles of presents to make up for it. I would just call them up and say "hey, would you be able to go?"  If so, send an invite.  If not, don't bother.  That way its not like you were hiding it from them and they werent invited, but its not so formal that they feel obligated.  Over the phone you can get a better read on them and explain what is going on more easily.