Pre-wedding Parties

Does she have to be invited???

I'm having 3 showers, one from my church (Maid OH), one from my Matron of honor and other BMs, and one from a family church my grandfather pastored.

I know I'm about to sound like a tacky bridezilla, but...my question is - do I have to invite my FMIL? She and I aren't that close - I love her, but she grates on my nerves on a whole new level, especially in public. She won't know anyone at any of the showers and is very, very loud and socially awkward. I don't want this to be the first (horrible) encounter between my family (and friends) and her. What do I do?
Beka Lou

Re: Does she have to be invited???

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_she-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:65e09093-b137-46eb-916f-fe619ec890d6Post:bb1dcbce-ee1a-4e77-aa4a-4b70dd39f376">Does she have to be invited???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm having 3 showers, one from my church (Maid OH), one from my Matron of honor and other BMs, and one from a family church my grandfather pastored. I know I'm about to sound like a tacky bridezilla, but...my question is - do I have to invite my FMIL? She and I aren't that close - I love her, but she grates on my nerves on a whole new level, especially in public. She won't know anyone at any of the showers and is very, very loud and socially awkward. I don't want this to be the first (horrible) encounter between my family (and friends) and her. What do I do?
    Posted by bekahjane89[/QUOTE]

    <div><span style="color:#000000;font-family:'Times New Roman';line-height:normal;font-size:medium;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;">I think you can get away with only inviting her to only one of the showers.  Pick the one where she will know the most people and do your best to avoid her and keep your fingers crossed that she isn't too rude.  Just remember that her poor behavior will be a reflection on her, not you.<div>
    </div><div>If she literally won't know anyone at any of the showers, pick the one that is more family oriented, or the one at your church (is she attends that church).</div><div>
    </div><div>And I know this isn't this post, but please reconsider telling your bridesmaids that you expect financial contributions from them for the showers.</div></div></span></div>
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Well, you wouldn't be inviting her.  But generally, moms are invited to all showers as a courtesy.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The MOB and MOG should receive invitations to ALL showers. Leaving her out is not going to make your relationship any better.
                       
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Maire.  Is this really how you want to start married life with your FMIL?  By publicly slighting her?  According to etiquette, moms are invited to all showers.  You're not going to improve the relationship by not including her.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_she-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:65e09093-b137-46eb-916f-fe619ec890d6Post:bb1dcbce-ee1a-4e77-aa4a-4b70dd39f376">Does she have to be invited???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm having 3 showers, one from my church (Maid OH), one from my Matron of honor and other BMs, and one from a family church my grandfather pastored. I know I'm about to sound like a tacky bridezilla, but...my question is - do I have to invite my FMIL? She and I aren't that close - I love her, but she grates on my nerves on a whole new level, especially in public. She won't know anyone at any of the showers and is very, very loud and socially awkward. I don't want this to be the first (horrible) encounter between my family (and friends) and her. <strong>What do I do?</strong>
    Posted by bekahjane89[/QUOTE]

    You get over yourself and invite her because it's the right thing to do.
  • AmandalovesAlAmandalovesAl member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, pick one and invite her...it would probably cause hurt feelings if she found out and those would last longer than the length of one party.
    imageimageVacation Till our honeymoon!!!
  • miah_23_ncbmiah_23_ncb member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i agree inviter her to at least one & make it the one where she will behave the best.
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