Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

Wedding Shower Etiquette

Hi Girls
I'm the MOH and trying to plan a wedding shower. I understand it's expected that the MOH & perhaps the bridal party hosts and pays for the wedding shower. But, if I decide to host it at a restaurant is it expected that I pay for all the guests' meals?

If it's acceptable to ask that the guests pay their own way, how do you go about disclosing that detail?
Thanks!

Re: Wedding Shower Etiquette

  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's acceptable.  I could be wrong--but at every shower I've ever attended at a restaurant, I was not asked to pay.  The hostesses at my shower paid for everyone, and my sister has hosted several showers and her and the co-hostesses have always paid.
  • bigbabyfacebigbabyface member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i've never been to a shower where i paid. baby, or bridal.

    Try to find some where that does appetizers or buffet style. it helps cut down cost :)
     
    then do it at a time of day that "real" food is not expected....say after lunch
  • edited December 2011
    Yea when we did my sister's at a resturant we split it between all the BMs. If your worried about costs there are alot more options.
  • edited December 2011

    The hostesses pay for everything.  My MOH had my bridal shower at a restaurant and she worked with them to come up with a set menu.  There were three or four things on the "menu".  It really helped her control costs.  HTH.

  • sarathirzasarathirza member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think the guests should pay - just the hosts.  We threw my sister a baby shower at a smaller boutique with sandwiches, fruit/veggies, punch/tea and cake (and possibly something else? Its been a few years, so I'm little fuzzy) - I think we only paid around $200 for 20-30 people? We also had waaay too much food left over.  You could also look into hosting it at a house, but bringing in catering? 
  • edited December 2011
    Catering is also an option.  I hosted a baby shower at my old office and I had it catered by Blue Mesa.  They came in and set everything up and after the shower they came back in and packed it up and took it away.  Easy breezy.
  • edited December 2011
    I hosted a brunch for my Cousins wedding. Each of the co-hosts is responsible for what type of food they'll bring (drinks, apps, dip, ect). it was beautiful and we had quiche and tea scones, cupcakes. All the pretty stuff and I only went over on costs because i decided to rent tables, chairs and a small tent for my backyard. 
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  • angieandjamesangieandjames member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was invited to an afternoon baby shower at an Italian place.  The invitation said something about appetizers being served, and then it was casually mentioned that if you wanted anything in addition, you were welcome to order it for yourself.  I think the key is that it wasn't at meal time.

    I've also been to tons of showers that were just cake and punch and mints... but I think it's a little more old-fashioned to do it that way.
  • MLandCJMLandCJ member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    I believe you are suppose to pay since you are hosting. IMO it's like inviting someone over for dinner and then asking them to help with the cost of the food. It's just not something that you would do.

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  • dtay1986dtay1986 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for letting me know! I figured this was the case, but wanted to make sure.
    I think I'll just go with having the shower at someone's home and serve appetizers. The other two bridesmaids are students so I don't want to be stuck footing the whole bill.
  • MLandCJMLandCJ member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That's what my MOH is doing for me. :) I always enjoy being about to spend time with people and being worried about going over the time.
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  • Catwoman708Catwoman708 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    The hosts are expected to provide the food and drink, especially if it's a gift giving occasion.  Wwhether it's cake and punch in your living room or a full meal at a restaurant is up to you and what you can affordd.

    If you can't afford to buy the guests meals at the restaurant, then plan something more economical.  A small guest list, or a less expensive or free venue for starters.   Like someone's house or back yard, a church hall, community center, public park, an apartment building's club house, or an afternoon tea at the local anitque mall. 

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