Pre-wedding Parties
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Bridal Shower

I am having a very small, intimate wedding, with about 40 people max. My mother and MOH really want to throw me a shower, but I feel bad inviting people to a shower if they are not going to invited to the wedding. I hear a lot of people say those kind of rules don't apply anymore, but I just don't know. What do y'all think??
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Re: Bridal Shower

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The rules ABSOLUTELY still apply.

    Those invited to the shower MUST be invited to your ceremony and reception.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    They absolutely do apply.  ONLY those invited to the wedding should be invited to any prewedding festivities. 

    I'd be pretty p!ssed and would feel like I was being used to get a gift when I wasn't important enough to actually see you get married.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    edited December 2011
    We are not using those rules. I too am having a small wedding of 50 people with just close family. However, I am having a destination wedding. We are treating the bridal shower as a reception with including both men and women.
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    miss.jawrightmiss.jawright member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would be really upset and hurt if I was invited to a shower and not the wedding. It really does seem present grabby. I can see how at first you might think it wouldn't matter but I really believe it does.
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-shower-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:6b371d19-218f-4c89-854d-50fdc716f8dfPost:f7ed748f-56f5-4527-ae17-3ad8b8e50888">Re: Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are not using those rules. I too am having a small wedding of 50 people with just close family. However, I am having a destination wedding. We are treating the bridal shower as a reception with including both men and women.
    Posted by kimery0905[/QUOTE]


    What you're doing is extremely rude.
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    SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp's, you should only invite people to the shower who are also invited to the wedding. You could still have a nice shower, it would just be on the smaller side which would have a more intimate feel.

    If I was invited to a shower and not the wedding itself, I'd feel like I was only invited so I could bring a gift. I know that's not your intentions, but that's how it would be perceived by most people.
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    edited December 2011
    I do not believe what I am doing is rude! Our wedding is family only! Immediate family at  that. My soon to be in-laws said their friends want to throw us a bridal shower. My soon to be in laws are also an exteremly conservative family. They would not do anything that was rude. Their friends are throwing us a shower since we are not having a wedding in town and they would like to do something nice for us.

    If you are having a wedding in your town or very close to your town and you invite people to the shower that are not invited to the wedding then that is rude.

    Do not call me rude since you do not know my situation!
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