Engagement parties?

snwdngo

I am trying to find out what the criteria is for having an engagement party...

We are getting married in March of 2011 and I have quite a few "older" friends of mine asking about if we are going to throw an engagement party. None of my friends have ever had one of these before, so I am wondering if it is still really something that people do. I mean no offense to anyone but I feel like we are just begging for more gifts and calling attention to ourselves by having one.

Thoughts please!!!

forrma7

traditionally, etiquette says that you never throw your own engagement party, because that would be like throwing a party in honor of yourself, which is strange.

typically, familiy members, parents, close friends...they will ask you to throw a party.

quotequeen

I have never been to one or known anybody who has had one IRL but in some circles they are common.  It also depends on the circle whether they are considered gift-giving events or not.  If you don't want to have one, just don't.

trix1223

I'm on the "I don't know anyone who has actually had an e-party" train also.  And I agree~I don't think they're necessary at all and IMO are AW-ish.

banana468

If you have one, it's thrown for you but not by you (as it's in poor taste to throw any party for yourself).

Based on what you said, if someone offers to throw a get together it could be fun, but don't worry about it.

karmellah

we're having one sunday. my mom is throwing it. its more of a His family is meeting my family. ours is very informal. Bbq and flip flops lol

SuMmErKuTiE

If someone offers to throw you one I wouldn't turn it down. We had one about 14 months before the wedding and we loved it. It was great for our families to meet and to see all of our close friends and family in one place before all the crazy wedding planning began. It was definitely not AW'ish and people are never obligated to bring gifts to an engagement party.

LuckyBrideToBe0013

My parents hosted an "engagment dinner" for us earlier this month. They booked the party room at a local Italian restaurant and most people ended up coming back to my parents house to go in the pool or hang out afterward.

It was really just a chance for both of our families to meet and get to know each other better. It was really nice to see everyone and get to talk with them. It can be so hectic during the pre-wedding and wedding events, this was great to spend some time with the families without there being tons of friends, co-workers, etc.

If no one offered to host a party, you could probably arrange a casual dinner or bbq for your families to meet each other. I just wouldn't call it an engagement party, because that would look like you just wanted gifts.

laure143cmm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:770474cd-f529-46d0-9a09-398f7651bcfePost:71771f98-09e0-48d6-8ac7-62cdd25cbefd">Re: Engagement parties?</a>:
[QUOTE]we're having one sunday. my mom is throwing it. its more of a His family is meeting my family. ours is very informal. Bbq and flip flops lol
Posted by karmellah[/QUOTE]

FMIL is hosting ours next month and we are also have a BBQ. Its like the same as everyone else, we just want the families to meet and celebrate the happy occasion. We are def not looking for gifts.

tsp698

I had heard of Engagement parties, but I have personally never been to one.When we got engaged one of our mutual friends offered to throw one for us. Its a great way for our families to meet each other, and our wedding parties to get better acquainted.

If it had not been offered to us we probably would have invited our families to a dinner so they could meet and get to know each other, but that would be it.

lauriegwhitney

We are planning on having one, which my mother offered to throw. I was feeling really uncomfortable about it looking like we just wanted more gifts too so in the invitations we plan to put something along the lines of NO GIFTS PLEASE lol. My sister is coming in from Afghanistan and my grandparents will be coming in from out of state to visit. It's really the only time my whole family will be in one place at the same time and I really don't want there to be this awkwardness at the reception because nobody really knows anyone else. Like everyone else I think, if it's still early in your engagement and your families aren't familiar with each other, there really isn't a better way to introduce them than to have a fun laid back party.

carolynnmarieg

My mother and stepmother are throwing one for us next week.

We had one for my brother before he got married, too.

It will be chill: in my dad/stepmom's backyard, and it's a daytime affair to keep the formality down.

Also, I threw a surprise-pseudo-engagement party for my friend with a particular subset of her friends just to celebrate them.

Gifts are optional at engagement parties.

If someone offers, say yes...and enjoy!