Pre-wedding Parties
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Rehearsal Dinner

I feel like I am having a bridezilla moment with planning the REHEARSAL DINNER. I know, right? My fiance and I cannot agree on it whatsoever; I'd like it to be at a nicer venue or restaurant and he, well.. he would have it at McDonalds, it seems like. The problem is his mom and stepdad will be paying for it, but at the same time they've indicated they didnt want to spend a $1000 on it, which is fine.. I understand. But most restaurants in our area will be $600 or so. I'd be all about having a BBQ but the wedding is in Oct, where the weather is unpredictable in MO, and his parents do not exactly have the type of place to host the event. I just need some advice or reassurance that there is no reason to go completely insane over this. It really shouldn't be that hard, but why is it???

Re: Rehearsal Dinner

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    quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If his parents are paying for it then they get to plan it.  You should let them do what they want to do.  The rehearsal dinner is really not that big of a deal.  (Disclosure: I want to have pizza/wings/beer for mine.)
    Married 10/2/10
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    edited December 2011
    If the groom's parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner, they get to plan it. There's no point in you planning anything that is beyond their budget, unless you are willing to co-host and pay for half of it.
    You're not getting married until October, though, so it's a little early to be worried about this.
                       
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    edited December 2011
    definately relax, with them paying for it, let them stress about it. I'm sure you have enough other stuff to plan. and as pp said it's not that big of a deal. We are having pizza!
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    edited December 2011
    Well, the issue is they want me to find a place, food, etc. Basically they want me to go ahead and plan it and they just foot the bill. It is hard not to have a say when they are looking at ME to make the decisions about it.

    The only reason why I am starting now to look for a venue is because space around my town are already booking for October. The one event space, which would be perfect and they could keep it low cost with a BBQ or pizza whatever is already booked.

    We just need a space to have it in; I don't care about the food but all the spaces, as I said, are booking pretty fast.
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    edited December 2011
    If you change the date of the RD, you could book the pizza/bbq place. If that's not going to work for you, get some menus from different places and show them to your IL's. Plan on splitting the cost with them, if you go over the budget they have set.
                       
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    slubkinslubkin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would flat out ask them how much they expect to spend for the rehearsal dinner and then plan around that.  If they want you to make the arrangements but they want to foot the bill, there is too much room for polite misconceptions to turn into a huge hassle and argument- not what you want to be dealing with the day before your wedding!

    My FMIL and her husband are thrilled to plan and pay for the RD.  I told them I didn't want any input on the restaurant but they should ask my FI for his input.  I asked them to choose a restaurant in the same town as the venue so it would be easy for everyone to get there.  And I discussed with them who exactly will be coming to the RD.  They wanted to invite ALL the family, and I said that was too many people for a restaurant- aside from the expense, people will only be able to talk to the others they are seated near. 

    We decided to do the RD as officiant, wedding party and parents only, but have a welcome dinner for all our family members who will be coming from out of town as a BBQ at my FI's family home on a different night.  That way our families are free to mingle and talk without it being so formal, it will be much less expensive, we won't have a limited time frame, and my FI's grandmother gets to show off her lovely house!
    "Plus who needs a purse when you have a wedding dress? Those things are like walking hobo bags just waiting to be stuffed with surprise treasures." -Wedinator.com image
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    edited December 2011
    I understand your situation since my FILs have asked that I plan the RD and they will take care of the bill.  I am not liking the idea but what can I do??  They don't want to plan it.  I would start by seeing if there is anywhere you can have it.  I know you said your FI's parents house wouldn't work but what about your house or his grandparents' houses?  Or an apartment/condo/countryclub/ chuch clubhouse?  If you have somewhere its easiest.  If you have a place to have it you can always have food catered in.

    If you dont have a place (like in my situation since we have a guest list of 40-50) then start looking for places that can accomodate your party and perhaps have a private room.  What I've found is that anywhere that hosts weddings (like Maggianos) requires you use a banquet menu if your party is of a certain size which adds up quickly and is not cost efficient.  What about your favorite mexican or chinese restaurant?  Ask them if you can create a menu by selecting 3 or so options of their menu in yourr price range.  This is what my sis did for hers. 

    My FFIL would have had our RD at In n Out if it was all up to him.  Fortunatly FMIL wasn't up for that but that means we're planning.  It's extra stress you don't need when planning a wedding and added stress since it's not your money.  I feel the same way.  I'm collecting pricing from several places and going to ask FFIL to choose where and to decide if we invite OOT guests.  I wasn't going to but most of his family is OOT so he kinda wants to.  I am going to also show him the cost difference to add OOT guests and do all the legwork but allow him to make the decision.
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