FMIL issue, looking for advise please...LONG

Rempala2B

I never thought I'd be posting something about this, I have read about FMIL problems and always thought to myself...I'm glad I won't have that problem.  And...now I do.  She thinks that it is the responsibility of the Mothers (of Bride and Groom) to throw the Bridal Shower.  I have never heard of a MOG throwing the shower, I'm sure it happens, but it's never been a thought in my mind.  My MOH, who is my sister, was planning on it being her responsibility along with my mom's and they have been looking forward to doing it for quite some time....I am the baby of the family and the last to get married. 

My sister is absolutely fine with my FMIL helping but not calling the shots.  FMIL took it upon herself to go scope out a venue for the shindig and also told my sis she knows where they will get my cake from.  She also told my sis that my FI will be at the shower....we did not plan on him being there!  I don't know what to do because I don't want to be involved in this at all but I don't want there to be any animosity or tension between our families.  My family tends to keep quiet and not speak our minds when confrontations arise so I feel bad for my sister who might not stick up for herself and just let FMIL do what she wants, as to not cause problems for my sake.  Any suggestions, advise???

I appreciated it!!!

banana468

Back off and let sis handle it.  Let HER be your voice.

And if they're at an impasse, perhaps then sis gets to say, "Hmm....maybe it would be best to have two?"

danieliza1127

I would suggest having two showers.  Let FMIL host one for her side of the family and friends, and let your MOH host one for your friends and your side of the family.  That seems like the easiest solution. 

jinxed8605

Agreed, if they can't come to a conclusion together, hosting 2 separate showers would be fine. Just make sure Sis and FMIL get different guest lists, no double invites!

jeatt

Remember it's your wedding , be polite, but be upfront and put your foot down.  If she gets upset, it won't last long.

StephNBob10

In all my experience, the mothers generally throw bridal showers. I am not married yet, but all of my family & friends who have gotten married have actually had 2 showers. Their mother (and family) throws one & the mother in law throws another. The same people are not invited to both, but rather the mother of the bride invites friends/family from their side & the mother in law invites friends/family from that side.

This might solve your problems & allow them each to do what they want for their own shower. Plus...you get 2 showers!

Rempala2B

thanks ladies, I agree with the separate showers but I will let my sister handle it, I would never suggest having two showers for myself as I feel it makes me look greedy.