Pre-wedding Parties
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No one seems to be throwing me a shower

Some of my close friends are throwing me a lingerie shower which is fine and all, but to be honest, I'd rather it be a regular shower.  No one seems to be throwing me one and since it's rude to ask for one, I'm left just hoping that someone will do it.  I think that everyone thinks that someone else will do it, and no one is doing it.  Am I just stuck waiting and hoping that either someone will think of it or we'll get everything we need at the wedding?  We don't have a lot of money right now and my fiance is out of work so we can't afford to buy everything ourselves on top of paying for a wedding.  Am I just being selfish or are my friends being rude?  Or both?

Re: No one seems to be throwing me a shower

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    frenchy730frenchy730 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Nether. 

    It's not okay to ask for a shower, but it okay to hope for one.  At least you're having a lingerie shower, be excited about that!

    I mean, there's not a lot you can do if your friends want to throw you a lingerie shower, that's their decision.  The only thing I can suggest is to very very subtely and delicately mention to your friends that you are not a fan of lingerie.  It might be an atom bomb of an explosion, so watch it.
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    Whippet8Whippet8 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    maybe they're really planning you a surprise shower, and you dont know?
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    MidgetthMidgetth member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You definetly can't ask for one. My step sister is getting married  2 months before me & since she thinks she's all that & no one else can handle throwing her a bridal shower she's doing it all herself. Please do NOT be like that plus than it's no fun for you. And me I have absoluetly no idea if I'm even getting one. And honeslty I'm ok if I don't get one. My BM's dont have a lot of money so I'm not expecting alot. You can't be greedy & expecting omething from them. They are doing what they can afford as I'ms ure our girls are doing too. Just let it all flow & wait & see. You may veyr well be suprised & in my eyes that 1,000 times better than knowing. So no I would not say anything to them other wise I'm afraid you will look bad
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    duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You can hope for one all you want but you are correct-you cannot ask for one.  There are many brides that don't have showers and still have perfectly legal marriages.

    One thing to think about is whether or not you are financially stable enough to even get married.  If you can't afford to buy the household items you need and your FI is out of work maybe now is not a good time to get married.  You shouldn't rely on any event (shower, wedding, or other) to get the things you need for your house.

    Now, if you already have things and just want new things then no big deal.  Just use your old stuff until you can afford new stuff.  But, if you can't even afford basic household necessities maybe a wedding isn't a great idea right now.

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    ecuchikaecuchika member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have you gone out and registered for things?  If you haven't done that then maybe whomever is thinking about  throwing you a shower needs to know where you have selected things for a shower.  How long til you get married? Showers don't occur until 2-3 months prior.  If you are close to a year out then no one may be thinking of one yet.
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    LitchieVLitchieV member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My MOH totally dropped the ball.  My shower was scheduled for June 19th.  I had been wondering why I hadn't heard anything about it.  I decided to email her last night to get some basic info and discovered that she had planned a toy party the same weekend as my shower.  now I have to plan my own shower in two weeks! 
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    edited December 2011
    I would maybe have your mom or someone else close to you that maybe knows about your worries, casually bring it up with your bridesmaids, asking are you guys planning something for the bridal shower? And maybe have them hint that you probably would rather an actual bridal shower rather than the lingerie shower.
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    lilmelodielilmelodie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm getting married in 8 days and still no shower.  When my friends who threw me the lingerie shower found out that I wasn't getting another shower they felt really bad and wished that they had done more of that stuff instead of all the lingerie.  I said that I couldn't ask for a shower, but they said that I could have.  I still don't think that I would have because it feels rude.  So they are going to do something after the wedding and my fiance's church is going to have a party/reception for us in his hometown.  I'm feeling a lot better about getting the things that we need.  We have a lot of furniture so it's really just kitchen stuff that we're really lacking.  It's one of the downsides of having roommates who always have dishes and silverware and stuff like that.  My dad suggested that I could buy the things I need myself, but it seems depressing to have to buy stuff off my registry before my wedding.  I'm only going to be in our new apartment for a week before the wedding so I can make do until then!  
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