Pre-wedding Parties

shower question

Im having more than one shower.... one given by my bridesmaids and one  given by my mom's friends...i want to make sure no one is invited to both but is it rude not to invite family (like aunts and future sister in laws) to both?

Re: shower question

  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    No, it is not okay to:

    1. Plan parties in your honor.
    2.  Ask that people pay for it.

    If no one offers to throw you a bach party/shower, you don't get one.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ok-ask-guest-pay-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c56e90f7-95e0-4ea3-8b21-f9dfa9a3355dPost:b870c1f7-bea4-4f3e-82d2-0d75e3d0edcb">is it ok to ask guest to pay for the shower....</a>:
    [QUOTE]ok i live in NY and my 2 bridesmaids don't (no MOH)....they both have babies and won't be able to be gone from their family for long , Also, they aren't rolling in the dough....they asked me what i want for my shower and  i want to have the shower/bachelorette weekend in NYC because no one will have to get a hotel and its fun etc.... i have a TON of really close freinds and they ALL have asked to help with the cost of the shower because they know my bridesmaids situations.  I don't want to offend my bridesmaids but planning a shower for 20 people in NYC when you don't know the city  or have the $$ to do so could be tough and I don't want to burden them. Not to mention who has an apartment that big??? not me. I want to suggest doing a pre-fixe brunch somewhere ... found some for around $25-$30. Should I suggest that eveyone pays for themselves? most of my friends would pay 3x that amount of money for a normal brunch. Is this rude? I feel like it will be so much easier on everybody but i don't want to offend people either.
    Posted by FSUDEEROSE[/QUOTE]


    Sorry, but no.  You can get all of your friends together for a dutch treat lunch, but you can't call it a shower and ask them to bring you gifts.

    If your WP can't afford to give you a shower, then you don't have one.  Disappointing?  Sure.  End of the world?  Nope.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    Exactly what PPs said
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If it's a shower, then guests shouldn't pay for themselves and they will certainly bring gifts.  If it's not a shower, you don't want gifts, and you want people to pay their own way, you need to call it a bachelorette party or a bridal lunch or bridal brunch so there's no confusion.
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  • lizstill13lizstill13 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I seriously hoped you were joking when I read that header.

    If the BMs asked where you wanted your shower, that's one thing. You can provide a guest list, but they don't have to invite your 20 closest friends if they can't afford that many people. You should have stopped all shower related thoughts after "where do you want your shower?" "NYC". Your job is done! Now let them plan and be happy with whatever they arrange.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ok-ask-guest-pay-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c56e90f7-95e0-4ea3-8b21-f9dfa9a3355dPost:b870c1f7-bea4-4f3e-82d2-0d75e3d0edcb">shower question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Im having more than one shower.... one given by my bridesmaids and one  given by my mom's friends...i want to make sure no one is invited to both but is it rude not to invite family (like aunts and future sister in laws) to both?
    Posted by FSUDEEROSE[/QUOTE]

    Holy hell, where did this come from?

    You should invite your bridesmaids to both showers. Probably your mom and FMIL as well.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    way to go trix on the JIC copy-this new "faux" question is nothing like the original. 

    OP-it isn't nice to change your post.  Besides, someone copied it, so re-writing was pointless. 
  • edited December 2011
    um yeah... clearly bridesmaids and mom.............
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