Pre-wedding Parties

Decision on who to invite to RD?

My fiance and I want our rehearsal dinner to consist of wedding party and family only and keep things intimate, simple and fun. The Mother of the Groom wants to invite all of her friends, plus their grown adult children, etc., to which none of the people are involved in the wedding, yet she complains about the cost. The invitee list is starting to get out of hand to where it is 1/2 of the wedding invite list and people we are not close to or even know. Most will be from out-of-town, however, it is close enough to drive the day of the wedding and I seriously doubt many will come the day before.

Do the bride and groom have final say on who they want to invite to the Rehearsal Dinner, even when the Mother of Groom is hosting?

Re: Decision on who to invite to RD?

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    edited December 2011
    Exactly what retread said.  If she is hosting, those decisions are hers to make.

    However, that doesn't mean you don't have options,  If you are wanting such a small dinner, why not consider hosting something simple yourselves?  You can make your own food or order pizza or something else that's low-key. 
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    edited December 2011
    Whoever is hosting and paying for the RD gets the final say on the guest list.
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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She's paying so she gets to pick who comes. Sorry.
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    >>No.  If she pays and hosts, she's got control of the guest list.

    That's the right answer.
    If your FI's mother were hosting a dinner party at some other time, would you think you should tell her who to invite, or tell her that she should have ice cream instead of cheesecake for dessert?  The RD is FMIL's event - she makes the decisions on the invitation style, she handles all arrangements and contracting with the venue - including color of tablecloths and napkins, and she decides who to invite to this dinner party she's hosting.
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