Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower

I am getting married in October and my MOH recently asked me for a guest list to my bridal shower.  I'm not exactly sure what names to give her.  Here is the problem.  In the past, my fiance's mother has thrown all the girls and future daughter-in-law's a bridal shower except they (his parents) don't want him and I to get married because I have not finished my college education yet.  We are not really on speaking terms with his parents any longer because we chose to go ahead and get married anyway (I'm 25, he's 27 and we're financially stable) and therefore I doubt she will be throwing me a shower.  The problem I am facing is that my personal guest list for my family is about 60 people.  To add his family would be another 60 people.  I don't want to put my MOH in the position to invite so many people but I'm also scared about offending his family because things are already kinda tense.  On top of that, when my fiance and I first got engaged, many of his extended family expressed how excited they were for my shower so I don't know what to do.  I can't just pick and choose a few of his extended family to invite because they are all close enough that if you invite one you kinda have to invite them all.  My mom told me that I should just invite my family and if his side wants to throw me a shower someone will, and I agree but I'm scared of making things worse with his family.  Anyone have any suggestions?

Re: Bridal Shower

  • edited December 2011
    I think his side of the family should be invited to the shower despite everything that is going on.  I think it may make it worse if you did not invite them.  If you do invite them, they don't have to come anyways.

    When you say that you would have to invite 60 people from each side, is this just the females? Usually females are the only ones invited to the shower.

    I would say that there is one of two things that you can do:

    1.  Have 2 showers...this is what I am doing...I am a student as well, so my first shower, which I had this weekend we invited all of the girls from school and had a small shower with them.  I invited about 20 people, 15 ended up showing.  I'm not getting married until July, but I had this shower so early because most of the girls will be moving back home when school ends in mid-April and will not be able to make it to the other shower I am having (though they will still be invited to the wedding).  The second shower will mostly be family, people from work, and some of my moms friends. 

    2.  Only invite people you are really close to to the shower.  Everyone has some people on their wedding list that they haven't seen or spoken to in a year...well, unless you think it would really upset them by not inviting them...why not skip over them on the shower invite.  Invite your closest friends and family and make it a little more cozy of a shower.

    Hope this helps =)
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I would invite members of his family, if your MOH can afford to host them.

    As for your guestlist, showers are for your nearest and dearest only.  Not every woman invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower.  Just the people closest to you should be invited.  60 alone is too much and will be boring for everyone but you.  120 is outrageous and probably expensive.
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I agree with duckie.

    Showers are small affairs.  Invite your closest family members and family members from your fiance's side that you've met, feel comfortable with, and/or fall within the same type of family member.  For example: I'd invite my fiance's step mother, aunts,  sisters and female cousins in addition to those from my own family.  The end.  That ends up with a shower of ~ 20 people.  Perfect.

    60 people is already too many and 120 is ridiculous.  No one wants to watch you open 120 presents....
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