Pre-wedding Parties

Should I go to my friend's bachelorette party?

I feel kind of obligated to go even though I went to her bridal shower and brought her a gift.  Not to mention I have to get her a wedding gift too.  She has helped me with my wedding a little.  We met for coffee and she gave me lots of ideas and helped get me organized since I only started planning mine.  And we went to a bridal expo thingy together more for me than her since her wedding is already planned.  Anyways, for the bachelorette party they want to start at someone's house and have this activity that basically costs $50 per person and also a stripper so they said to bring 1 dollar bills for that.  Then they want to go downtown and go drinking so money for drinks.  I think this is a pretty expensive bachelorette party and that's the only thing holding me back.

Re: Should I go to my friend's bachelorette party?

  • edited December 2011
    Maybe you could go for part of it?  I think that you should at least go for some she may be hurt if you decide not to come at all.  A little effort can mean a lot to people.
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  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you have to go.  You went to her shower and you're going to the wedding, so it's not like you're skipping out on everything.  If she asks, tell her that the party they've planned isn't in your budget, but you'd love to get together with her another time.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree, go for a little while. Hopefully she will understand that money is tight right now for you (as it is for the majority of the rest of us). She may be hurt more if you don't show at all.
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  • trix1223trix1223
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    edited December 2011
    An invitation to any party is not a subpoena.  You don't have to go to the party, and it doesn't really matter what the reason is.  You don't owe an explanation.

    The best thing, IMO, is to reply "Thank you for the invitation, but I'm afraid I have plans that can't be changed for that evening.  I hope the party is wonderful."

    Perhaps your plans are to wash your hair, or to dust the living room, or to do the laundry.  You don't have to give specifics,  but you won't feel like you're lying.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated
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    edited December 2011
    You don't have to go if you don't want to.

    Showers and bachlorette parties are not mandatory, especially if they are asking you to pay money when they didn't ask you what (and if!) you were willing to spend.
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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should I go to my friend's bachelorette party?:
    I agree, go for a little while. Hopefully she will understand that money is tight right now for you (as it is for the majority of the rest of us). She may be hurt more if you don't show at all.
    Posted by MissySue20
    I agree with this, I would try to show up for a little bit, but explain beforehand you can't commit to the whole party since money is tight. She should understand and will be happy that you are coming out for part of it.
  • edited December 2011
    I say go for half of it-  either do the first half or say you'll meet up for drinks when they go out.  I don't think you need to say money is tight.  
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  • JoeyOzJoeyOz
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    edited December 2011
    Are you in the wedding?  Because if you're a bridesmaid then you should make the effort to be there.  If you want to save $$ maybe just meet up later for drinks downtown?
  • namae_nainamae_nai
    First Comment
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    edited December 2011
    I am not in the wedding.  She asked me about it recently and indicated she really wanted me to go for the first thing which is the expensive part!  A few other girls I talked to feel the same way, that it's expensive but they are sucking it up and going out of respect for the bride but we are all irked at the person who is throwing the whole thing. 

    I'm thinking maybe I can show up late but before they go to the bars so I can miss most of the first thing and not have to spend money on that.  But then I still feel bad even thinking about doing that.  I know it's not her fault and I'm not sure if she realizes how much the coordinator is asking us to pay for this but I think it's really inconsiderate to all the guests to expect them to spend that much money.  Not to mention the house we are starting at is 15 miles from where I live and the area where the bars are that we are going is an additional 15 miles away from the house.
  • bluebabyg1bluebabyg1
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    I think you should go to the part that sounds the most fun to you that you coul still afford to attend. Maybe every other girl her MOH invited doesn't show up and it's just the two of them. (this happened to me)
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