Sticky situation(kinda long! Sorry in advance)

danac2010

So we have finalized the guest list, sent STDs to everyone and ordered the invites.  Well we went to FI Gma's b-day last month and everyone there got a STD magnet that is on their fridge so FI crazy(and I mean certified been to the loony house and finally been released) sister was upset that we didn't send her a STD. 
First off we don't know where to ever send her anything because she is constantly moving and 2, my FI and his sister don't get along at all and most of the family has disowned her. Well we talked and decided that since she is the only immediate family he has left(both of his parents died) that we will invite her.  We even extended her the plus 1 for her new bf.  Well she called him yesterday and asked if her plus 1 could be his ex-wife.  UM HELL NO!!!  Sorry but I don't want the crazy ex that tells his daughter lies about me at my wedding.  I'm sorry but am I over reacting?  I don't care if the sister comes and brings the bf but I will flip out the day of the wedding if the ex is there.  Also she has no where else to live right now so she is living with FI ex-wife.  It's just a very akward situation when FI sister doesn't even try to be friends with me and is still friends with his ex and even lives over there.  I just feel like it was very rude of her to even ask to bring his ex wife.

bsn1752

I think that you are completely within your right to say NO WAY to the ex wife being a guest at your wedding, regardless if she speaks poorly of you or not.  I think it's very odd that she would even want to come, and it sounds to me like she only wants to show up to cause a scene or get a rise out of you.  I would have your FI tell his sister and his ex wife NO.

Ugh, good luck!!

balfour00

Um, awkward.  wow.  Who would even think that is even a little bit ok and worth asking about.  Seriously?!!!!  Hopefully the ex would have the common sense to know that nothing good would come of it and turn the sister's invite down.

Hopefully your FI immediately put an end to that thought.

amberpro

Uh, no.  Totally inappropriate.  Please feel free to put the kabash on that potential drama!

danac2010

Oh no the ex has their little girl trying to give daddy a guilt trip on not inviting mommy.  It has been an ordeal!!!  The ex won't even keep the daughter the night of the wedding or the rest of the weekend so we can have some time to ourselves and it is her weekend to have her!  We were told that we should feel lucky to even have the little girl be a part of our day.  She got married and we kept her for almost a week.  Luckily my parents are going to keep his daughter for us for a few days so we can jsut have us time here in town.

Hester930

Of course you have every right to make very clear who is invited to the wedding and who is clearly NOT.  If she does show up, I would recommend doing your absolute best to remember that it's your day...you and the hubby to be...you two are the only two people who matter.  Relish in your moments...and play it by ear from there.  I wouldn't want to deal with it on my wedding day.  I would give a heads up to someone like my mom...and I would arrange to cue my mother to have the ridiculous woman removed from the premises.  Quietly.  You mentioned a daughter, though...I don't know.  Perhaps a guest list at the entrance to the wedding?  Have someone man the list.  Make it required for the RSVP to include the names of those that will be in attendance...for seating purposes...

serlace

I agree with PPs - if push comes to shove have someone 'man' the door.  I realize it's a delicate situation, but I don't think you should have to let her attend if it makes you so uncomfortable.  I know in future situations you will have to tolerate her because of the child your FI shares with her. (School events, graduation, etc.).  However, this is a celebration of you and your FI and I really don't see a problem in not letting her attend.