Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

RSVP debate! Which side are you on?!

Hey girls! 

My fiance and I cannot agree as to how we want our guests to RSVP to the wedding.  We have spent HOURS working on our wedding website (through wedding window) and he would like to have our guests RSVP via our website only.

I would prefer to have guests mail their invites back to us.  Call me selfish (or a kid at heart) but I know i am going to be SO excited to come home every day to check the mail to see if RSVPs have come.

What are your thoughts on this topic?!  Am I being unreasonable?  I know we would save money on postage but that is not that big of a deal at all.

Thanks!

Re: RSVP debate! Which side are you on?!

  • rcpm44rcpm44 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm "old fashioned" and think that RSVPs should be sent in. What about great-aunt Martha who doesn't own or know how to RSVP on the computer? You run the risk of alienating your guests and getting less people to RSVP.

    Postage isn't that much on a tiny RSVP card, spring for the postage. You're going to have enough of a head ache when it comes to these; don't add more stress by wondering if people know what to do.
  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_rsvp-debate-side?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:8362abb9-a263-458e-971d-d482cde8217aPost:37e42464-8281-4829-a19f-7e921eb1fcdb">Re: RSVP debate! Which side are you on?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm "old fashioned" and think that RSVPs should be sent in. What about great-aunt Martha who doesn't own or know how to RSVP on the computer? You run the risk of alienating your guests and getting less people to RSVP. Postage isn't that much on a tiny RSVP card, spring for the postage. You're going to have enough of a head ache when it comes to these; don't add more stress by wondering if people know what to do.
    Posted by rcpm44[/QUOTE]

    Co-signed,

    Brianna
  • carmen9311carmen9311 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    you could give your guests the option of RSVP *insert normal wording here* or by visiting www.ourwebsite.com

    on ours, we went pretty non-traditional by asking people to email and call and i kind of regret it. i wish we had just given people the option.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_rsvp-debate-side?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:8362abb9-a263-458e-971d-d482cde8217aPost:37e42464-8281-4829-a19f-7e921eb1fcdb">Re: RSVP debate! Which side are you on?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm "old fashioned" and think that RSVPs should be sent in. What about great-aunt Martha <strong>who doesn't own or know how to RSVP on the computer</strong>? You run the risk of alienating your guests and getting less people to RSVP. Postage isn't that much on a tiny RSVP card, spring for the postage. You're going to have enough of a head ache when it comes to these; don't add more stress by wondering if people know what to do.
    Posted by rcpm44[/QUOTE]
    This.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_rsvp-debate-side?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:8362abb9-a263-458e-971d-d482cde8217aPost:37e42464-8281-4829-a19f-7e921eb1fcdb">Re: RSVP debate! Which side are you on?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm "old fashioned" and think that RSVPs should be sent in. What about great-aunt Martha who doesn't own or know how to RSVP on the computer? You run the risk of alienating your guests and getting less people to RSVP. Postage isn't that much on a tiny RSVP card, spring for the postage. You're going to have enough of a head ache when it comes to these; don't add more stress by wondering if people know what to do.
    Posted by rcpm44[/QUOTE]

    I agree or do both options.
  • edited December 2011
    We did the RSVPs through the mail, but I have received wedding invites where there was an option to send back a card or go online.  I still did it through the mail, I know my friend loved going to check the mailbox.
  • anglcakes7anglcakes7 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all of your thoughts/opinions!

    I agree that it is also going to be less of a headache to go the traditional route. 
  • edited December 2011
    I was excited to check the mail but I don't think there is one right answer for this.  There are older people out there that can't mail an RSVP back to you. 

    I would say offer both because while it may seem like postage could be a waste if  the RSVP card isn't sent back, it's not that much money in the grand scheme of things.
  • edited December 2011
    I have people already RSVPing on the website, so I was thinking about not sending them an RSVP card (just because I'm making each one, not because I won't spring for postage)... I feel like they will think they already RSVPed so they won't do the mail one, so it will just be wasted manpower on my part. I don't know, yet, though. I am undecided.
    Disclaimer: Please excuse the above comment. I'm probably freaking out because there is less than one month to go. Thank you.
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  • carmen9311carmen9311 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_rsvp-debate-side?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:8362abb9-a263-458e-971d-d482cde8217aPost:6069899a-09d1-4c24-8543-023a9cd6c95e">Re: RSVP debate! Which side are you on?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have people already RSVPing on the website, so I was thinking about not sending them an RSVP card (just because I'm making each one, not because I won't spring for postage)... I feel like they will think they already RSVPed so they won't do the mail one, so it will just be wasted manpower on my part. I don't know, yet, though. I am undecided.
    Posted by AmberMarieTX[/QUOTE]

    <div>maybe you can just send a separate note with their invite saying that you saw they already RSVP'ed online and are so excited to see them there and to let you know if there are any changes in their plans? </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_rsvp-debate-side?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:8362abb9-a263-458e-971d-d482cde8217aPost:0fc1d23b-7cc8-4cf1-8866-2df837cc465b">Re: RSVP debate! Which side are you on?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP debate! Which side are you on?! : maybe you can just send a separate note with their invite saying that you saw they already RSVP'ed online and are so excited to see them there and to let you know if there are any changes in their plans? 
    Posted by carmen9311[/QUOTE]

    Great idea!!!
    Disclaimer: Please excuse the above comment. I'm probably freaking out because there is less than one month to go. Thank you.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Our Huge Planning Blog :) * Updated 06/11
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    July 2011 Bride
  • edited December 2011
    I agree offer both options. There are going to be the ones that don't know how to navigate a computer or don't own a computer to RSVP. And there will be the ones that RSVP by mail. Plus, I think it is fun checking the mailbox and getting the responses back. Nice to have something in the mailbox that is not bills.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We had 1 person RSVP on our website.  You need to provide both options--and you'll still have to call the ones that do neither.
  • juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Triple co-signed,
    Julie
  • edited December 2011
    We are allowing are guests to RSVP in three ways. 1) by sending back the actual card ( we are inviting a lot of older people who I know dont use the computer) 2) by going online to our wedding website and 3) by calling us and leaving a voicemail. My parents have 4 phone lines so we just hooked up an answering machine on one that is just for our wedding and we are recoding a little message.  With a formal dinner things get tricky though so lets hope we get the meal choices correct.
    I dont think there is a right or wrong way to do it though. Just think about your guests, if you know everyone would be ok with doing it online then I think thats fine. It sounds like you like the idea of getting the cards in the mail, so then I would do that or both you and your finacees idea
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  • edited December 2011
    I think RSVP online only is tacky - you are not sending them an e-vite! Also, most of the "older" folks in my family don't even know how to go online.  I would nix that idea completely.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Renee.  Plus, even if you give them the option of online or mail, you still have to send a self-addressed, stamped envelope with every invitation, because you don't know who is going to RSVP where/how.  You are going to be pretty busy when the RSVP deadline comes around.  IMHO - I would say just go the traditional route.  It's going to start to be a pain to keep up with who RSVP'd where and with how many and who you still need to call and etc., etc., etc.  That's just my opinion, though.
  • edited December 2011
    Save some money (on both postage & envelopes) by using an RSVP postcard!
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