"Oh, your having a long engagement"

Carla1019

After I told another person that my wedding is next summer, I got a surprised look and they say, "Oh, your having a long engagement."

Is anyone else getting this response? I'm getting married a year and 1/2 after my FI proposed. We are inviting over 200 people and paying for everything ourselves. I thought this would be normal but maybe not.

What is the average time frame from, popped the question - to married?

KimC1983

I've only heard that once or twice, and it irritated me.  I'm not sure people realize A. how much it costs B. how quick great vendors fill up C. most pay for weddings themselves D. it's kinda a big day, most want it to be detailed and as close to perfect as possible.  

Most of this cannot be achieved without our good friend, time.

And from what I've read, the average engagement now is 18-24 months. :-)  

AmandaSC1988

My mother actually asked me why we were having a "long engagement". My fiance's in the military and well, you can't do anything spur of the moment with that kind of job.

iloveu4ever

My fiance proposed to me in 2009 and we are not married yet so don't worry

NikkiF731

When FI and I got engaged we had two years till the wedding and we got the "crazy" face alot when we went to look at venues or when Is started trying on dresses (to get an idea of style). I always sort of smiled to myself though since I knew that I'd rather have people think we were being silly than have to rush with planning, feel all stressed, and have to pay increased prices for vendors we really wanted. Instead, I've gotten to fiddle with the smallest details, take my time, enjoy being engaged and planning, and book many things for 2010 prices. People need to understand that we're adults and if we have a long engagement it's for a reason.....and they should quit their judging! haha

AllyG303

I got it a lot when we first got engaged.  But we picked our day since it's the day we met, so we just told people we didn't want to rush to plan a wedding in 7 months.

syddy88

I get it all the time and it makes me mad. They aren't the ones writing the checks for everything. My FI and I just look at it and say we know we are going to be together forever, so we can wait until we can afford the wedding we want.

 However, I have had a lot of vendors thank me because they like dealing with brides that are organized and planning ahead more than the ones that need them in a few months when they are alerady booked.

Just ignore everyone (easier said then done). You will be so happy you waited so you weren't rushed and in a financial crunch to pay for everything. Happy planning!!

MeaganR12

Hmmm...it actually doesn't really bother me when people say that. I feel like when people talk about engagement and wedding stuff they're just trying to make small talk with you. I doubt they're saying it in a malicious way.

Maggieaha

I get that all the time. Don't sweat it. My FI and I will have been engaged for two years and 3 months before we're married. We wanted one of us to graduate from college before we were married. I'm not really sure why people see it as such a big deal. We're making it work. Do we wish we could have been married sooner? You bet! Can we make it happen? Not at all. It is what it is, and people can get over it. It's not their wedding or marriage anyway! How do they know what's best for us?

Good luck!

ceglare4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_oh-having-long-engagement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:28ecad7d-1fdd-4b3d-8af0-67eda0ffcb13Post:ddc0ab16-8037-42c6-b2e1-6244961743c1">Re: "Oh, your having a long engagement"</a>:
[QUOTE]I get it all the time and it makes me mad. They aren't the ones writing the checks for everything. My FI and I just look at it and say we know we are going to be together forever, so we can wait until we can afford the wedding we want. <strong> However, I have had a lot of vendors thank me because they like dealing with brides that are organized and planning ahead more than the ones that need them in a few months when they are alerady booked.</strong> Just ignore everyone (easier said then done). You will be so happy you waited so you weren't rushed and in a financial crunch to pay for everything. Happy planning!!
Posted by syddy88[/QUOTE]

Yep, I've had this too. I'm currently talking to different florists and they're all so happy that my wedding is <strong>next</strong> July, because apparently brides for this July are still trying to sort these details out. I haven't really had anyone comment on the length of our engagement, other than vendors being happy that I'm thinking about everything now. And I agree with PP on the time frame. I knew that I needed about a year and a half to feel sane while planning our wedding. So I don't really care what other people think about it as long as it works for us!

bells24412

I have many people say this, so when i tell them I am only getting married next July they tell me "oh you have plenty of time" We will be engaged 2 years and 2 weeks by the time we get married and we are paying for some of the wedding ourselves. I just try and ignore them and tell them that 2 years goes by very quickly. They usually don't have anything to say after that and the fact that we are paying for some of the wedding ourselves. I used to get upset but like i said i just ignore them now because it will come up fast. I also have had vendors thank me because i was booking everything in advance and got locked into some great rates.

Hope everything works out for you and just ignore people. Goodluck.

ceglare4

I for one am very excited to just be able to tell people that we're getting married in July, not we're getting married next July, or in July 2012!

MeaganR12

<div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_oh-having-long-engagement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:28ecad7d-1fdd-4b3d-8af0-67eda0ffcb13Post:292b0774-0c89-415c-ad76-4a64861cf1ca">Re: "Oh, your having a long engagement"</a>:
[QUOTE]I for one am very excited to just be able to tell people that we're getting married in July, not we're getting married next July, or in July 2012!
Posted by ceglare4[/QUOTE]</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">I second this!</div></div>

Kimberly0402

18 months for us.

bblouin

we have been engaged since 2008... we get that all the time. I honestly dont care anymore! But it is annoying.

kaglade85

My fiance and I have been engaged since February 2009, and by the time we're married we will be engaged for almost 2 1/2 years.  I don't think people have any right to judge other people about their wedding.  Everyone's situation is different, my fiance can't find a teaching job, and I'm still in grad school, and we're paying for half of the wedding.  I'm constantly second guessing this big wedding we're planning (I have a huge family) and just eloping, but we have been together for almost 8 years and we deserve a special day:)

sunshine9779

I often get the, "Oh, you have plenty of time" as we talk about DIY projects.  Yeah, I know, I planned it that way!  The people who matter understand things going on in my family that led to a long engagement and don't question it.  I have been to a few bridal shows and the vendors are very eager to pull out their books and try to set consultation times.  I guess it doesn't really matter what other people are thinking, b/c I'm marrying the man made for me!

bonjourdali

I've been engaged since October 2008. 

I've just stopped caring what people say about the length of my engagment. It worked for us. We were broke and 19 when we got engaged. We made the choice to wait until we can afford our dream wedding.