July 2012 Weddings

Let's talk guest list please!

The topic drives me nuts! Do any of you have issues with inviting certain family members and not others? How are you handling this?

Basically the deal is my family is enormous and FI's is not. He wants to keep it an intimate affair, mostly people that know each other and well people that are closest to us. My family is very close and even quite gossipy at times. People resent stuff easily and every now and then there's the ocassional drama over random stuff. Weddings are an everyone in the family type deal for us and it's kind of offensive when family members get left out. Which has become a normal concept for me. For FI it's not so we've had a few discussions over it.

There's a few cousins I'd like to invite and others not, mostly because of budget. If it weren't for budget I wouldn't even be thinking about this. My plan is to invite uncles and aunts for sure and FI is fine with that. It's the cousins that cause problems. I feel nervous having uncles and aunts getting worked up when they find out their children (adults actually) haven't been invited when others of my cousins have been invited.

Worse I have two aunts that have 4 adult children (3 married) and I kind of only want to invite 2 of them (2 of each aunt's family I mean). Reason #1 being budget of course, and #2 FI doesn't care for them much because of past incedents, I'm not that close to them anyway and they are a tad awkward. But I'm afraid of the situation. That's not something we usually do. (Although one of my cousins living in a different town got married a few months ago and didn't even invite us. Or any family members who weren't local for that matter. There was quite a bit of frowning upon that and it even sealed the deal for FI on why should we bother inviting them when they obviously didn't worry about any of us) But I don't want drama from the other four because they haven't been invited, unlike their siblings, and I would hate to have to be confronted about it. I know the deal with SOs even if you don't care for them, etiquette says you have to invite them. And well with family members I know you don't have to, but how do you deal with only inviting certain siblings/ cousins..? I feel like the usual "Our budget is tight and it's an intimate affair" won't really fly... Any tips, suggestions?
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