Registry and Gift Forum

Can or Should I register?

We are having a very small ceremony.  Following, we are having receptions in different states to include our family and friends we aren't asking to travel.  I know that we will not be putting registry information on those invitations.  However, my mother and FMIL are insisting on throwing all of the traditional showers that our families have done in the past.   Almost none of these people will be included in the ceremony.   I am afraid of looking greedy, though they assure me everyone will want to participate in the showers regardless of ceremony invite.  Should we register and risk looking gift-grabby or not register and let everyone make their own decision on whether to buy for us?

Re: Can or Should I register?

  • 1. No invites should have registry info in them 2. only those invited to teh wedding should be invcited to teh showers or other prewedding parties 3. go ahead and register it is not required to buy off a registry it just gives guidance to those who ask you
  • Well I guess my problem is a little different than I originally stated.  I can not get out of these showers, and I am not in charge of the guest list for them.   I could just not show up, but I feel that would be even more tacky.All of these people will be invited to our receptions.  Hopefully, like my mom says, they will all understand that we want a small ceremony/big parties and will not be offended.  I guess I will register but ask they leave it off the invites, so hopefully peope will feel welcome at the shower sans gift.
  • People know that the point of a shower is to "shower the bride with gifts" and won't show up without a gift. The way you get out of it is to say "Mom/other shower hostess, I'm really concerned about looking gift-grabby with this shower.  It isn't right to invite people to the shower that aren't invited to the actual wedding, so I'm going to have to insist that you cut the invite list down to those people.  If you aren't willing to do that, I'm going to have to decline your offer to host a shower.  I understand that you think they'll get over it, but I'm not comfortable doing that."  Or you could solve this by just inviting everyone to the actual wedding.
  • just make sure that every person invited to a shower is invited to whatever reception is close to them and youre fine.
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