register before the engagement party?

katieandtrev

sorry i know there is already a thread on how early to register but i just wanted to phrase a more specific question- should we register before the engagement party? were not getting married until fall 2011 but the engagement party is in a month (2009). people have started RSVPing to the party asking what we want as gifts. is it polite to start a registry and direct people there if they ask about gifts? thank you!!!

jenmcg

our eparty is next month and we started the registry last month for that reason   Absolutely if people are asking what you like, you should register now so you get things you actually want.

Leah&Christian09

No. E-parties are not generally gift giving events, and registering so far in advance just for the e-party would convey that you expect gifts.

duckie1905

Usually engagement parties are not gift-giving events.  We usually just bring a bottle of wine or something like that.I don't know anyone that has registered before the engagement party. I'd probably see it as the couple expecting gifts.

mmm_080809

In my area, it's common (though never expected) to receive gifts at the engagement party, especially from close family. We registered for luggage, crystal, and china (items that aren't likely to be discontinued within a year) before our engagement party then went back and added more items closer to the wedding. But gift-giving at an engagement party is not common everywhere or in every social circle. If someone asks what you want as a gift, the polite answer is always that no gift is necessary. If they specifically ask where you are registered, you may tell them which stores you've chosen. But guests invited to any event, whether a wedding or an engagement party, should never be told about a registry in a way that implies a gift is expected.

jeanna85

In my area, engagement parties are gift giving events. I received all 16 settings of my china, the server plates, and all of my silverware. I also received all of my crystal which I was shocked about because there were 4 different glasses with 16 pieces of each. I registered because I got about 7 phone calls from people that wanted to know my china or silverware pattern. I also received some on my random kitchen stuff- mixers and the like. I wasn't aware that people went this over the top for engagement parties, but I was glad that I registered anyway and didn't take the advice of people on the knot or else I would have received a mishmash of things I dont need. It seems, however, that in most areas this is not at all the norm and it would seem gift-grabby. I would ask your family members if they have seen major gifts given at eparties in your area before.

IG.muse

It didn't even occur to us to register before our engagement party and I'm really sorry we didn't. I didn't know people would bring gifts, but I guess they do. We got stuff we'll never use. It was just a waste of money for people who bought the gifts.