Am I in the wrong?

Skip10

My mother told me that I am being a spoiled brat bridezilla. The reason she said this is because I told her she was not allowed to get me the gift she wanted. She qoute "wanted to get me some sexy lingere and other items for the bedroom" mind you my boss and my fiancées grandmother will be there. Not to mention I am a somewhat conserative person. I don't think sex toys are appropraite gifts for fifty of my friends and family to see.

jenn.daniel

I would feel very awkward if my mother got me anything like that! It probably would have been nicer to thank her for letting you know what she wanted to get you and request that she give it to you privately. Maybe try to recover by turning it into a special mother-daughter time. She won't feel neglected, and you won't be (as) exmarrassed.

duckie1905

Even though the gift is somewhat innappropriate for the setting it really is bratty to tell someone what they can/can't buy you as a gift.  There was a more gracious way to handle it than what you did.

jinxed8605

I agree with PPs. Just explain to her that it isn't a lingerie shower and while you would appreciate the gift, you would prefer it to be given in private.

Skip10

I see your points, I think I was just so shocked that she would do something like that, that I freaked out. Then again my mother is not known for being considerate of peoples feelings, so I am planning on her doing exactally what she said.

Leah&Christian09

If you believe she'll give you something inappropriate, make time to open her gift with the two of you in private, maybe with a couple of close friends in the room at the beginning of the shower before guests start to arrive. Telling her that she cannot get you the gift she wants to give you is pretty bratty.

banana468

I can't blame you for not wanting your mother to get you that type of present but yes, it's technically inappropriate to say that she can't.  I think telling you that you're a spoiled brat bridezilla is taking it to the extreme though.Then again, I think it's odd to give your daughter items for sexytime.

jennylove810

Not to post-jack, but I hate the word "bridezilla."  I have seen some TRUE bridezillas in action so I detest when a smart, assertive woman (who happens to be getting married) must stand her ground on something, the people she's up against throw out the worde "bridezilla."  Boo.

Skip10

Jennylove810 I agree with you about the use of the word bridezilla. I think I am a pretty reasonable bride, let my girls pick there own dress and shoes, I am paying for their hair and makeup. The one difficult thing I did was ask that my close family all wear black, as it is my favorite, and I am doing a black and white wedding. My aunt did this at her wedding, she asked us all to wear a shade of blue, and though I cursed her while I searched for a dress the sea of blue was beautiful, and very special at the wedding. thanks for your support.

SpceCadet

My mom bought me a sexy nighty as an easter gift once. I opened it in front of my dad, brother and (then) boyfriend. I think it was one of the single-most embarrassing moments of my life. I was 20, going to a HIGHLY religious university and was ultra-conservative in attire. That being said, I laugh about it now 10 years later. Had I known, I would have asked for a more private setting. I think telling her what she can/cannot buy was rude (and I will admit I would have said the same thing without thinking about it). Asking for a more private setting would be reasonable.

banana468

I think asking guests to wear a specific color can come off as a bit too controlling.  It's great to go with a theme but I'd only "encourage" rather than request.

janedoe1113a

I agree that it's bratty to tell someone what they can't get you as a gift.  It's also extremely bratty to tell people what to wear to your wedding.  I agree with everyone else that you should tell her that it's not an appropriate gift at the shower and you would rather receive that gift in private.

JaimeeP

Skip10 is not demanding a specific gift from her mom. She is only asking not to be embarrassed in front of her boss and FILs. As an MOB, I would not want my daughter to be nervous that I would intentionally embarrass her like that. Where is that woman's common sense?

Leah&Christian09

The one difficult thing I did was ask that my close family all wear black, as it is my favorite, and I am doing a black and white wedding. My aunt did this at her wedding, she asked us all to wear a shade of blue, and though I cursed her while I searched for a dress the sea of blue was beautiful, and very special at the wedding. People called you Bridezilla for this?

bethak

I don't think that someone who is planning on giving you an inappropriate and embarrassing gift in front of your boss or elderly future in-laws really has a right to call you out on being bratty. And although it might be seen as ungrateful or bratty by some to tell your mother that she's "not allowed" to gift you sexy lingerie at your shower, I also totally get that there are some mothers who simply must be told they're "not allowed" to do something. For some reason, some mothers think that because they gave birth to you, it gives them the right to do whatever they want. My mother would be the same way....when my brother got married in June, I simply had to tell my mother that she was not allowed to wear jeans and tennis shoes to the wedding. If I hadn't stepped up and told her, that's exactly what she would have worn.