Too many registries? Donation dos and don'ts?

nefariousmango

Ugh, so, I think we have too many registries and I need some help figuring out what to do about it!We started with two:  Amazon universal for gardening stuff (I like to grow exotic fruit trees and FI is a computer nerd, so it covered both our hobbies) and William-Sonoma for upgrades (we have all our kitchen/ household basics already because we've lived together for a few years).  I decided from the get-go that in lieu of favors we would make a donation.My parents freaked out that we didn't have a cheaper store option (we registered for some inexpensive gadgets on both registries so I thought we'd be safe) and want us to drop Amazon registry and register at Bed, Bath and Beyond instead.  Since the amazon registry is so tiny and specific, do you think it's tacky to keep it AND add a third registry that's a big chain store?For favors, we were going for the horse rescue I volunteer at but then started feeling guilty that we weren't supporting cancer research, since that's what I do and we're also involved in a lot of those charities.  Someone pointed us to justgive.org, and we created a registry there where people can make a donation to one of our three regular charities in place of a wedding gift.  I love this idea, but now we have FOUR registries!  Should I just stick to donations in lieu of favors and keep my cancer fund raising to its usual annual e-mails and phone calls? HELP!

banana468

I think it's fine to add a registry at BB&B.  Having registries at 3 stores is about average.Honestly, I'm anti giving a gift to charity or asking for one in lieu of a wedding gift.    If you want to give that's great but I wouldn't broadcast the justgive.org one.  IMO it begins to mix philanthropy and your wedding and the two can get ugly when they mix that way.

Leah&Christian09

Adding the BB&B registry is fine.  Registering for a charity is a little dicey because it is asking for cash.  I don't know that tacky is the word, but it isn't really proper, either.  Personally, I find this much less rude than other cash registries (like a honeymoon registry) because it is selfless. A donation instead of favors is a lovely idea.  A donation to a good cause is always a great thing, and favors are kind of silly anyway.  The part that I don't get is the need to broadcast it to your guests.  When I see some couple printing out cards or giving away candy/wristbands talking about how they donated instead of favors, all I can think is that making a donation must be a once in a lifetime thing for them if they are so proud about it that they feel the need to brag.  Why not just make the donation, skip the favors, and be happy with that warm fuzzy feeling you get from doing something for someone else?  At the very least, I would spread it by word of mouth, but I really don't think guests care.

nefariousmango

Thanks guys!  I think we'll get rid of the justgive registry, at least for now.  Because I work for a cancer research grant and at the horse rescue, and a lot of my family volunteers or works for specific causes, I know there are a few people who are looking to make a donation instead of giving us a material gift, but anyone in the wedding party could point them to the charities we support!Also, LOVE the idea of putting a sign in one place instead of on each table.  At a wedding this summer, donations were made to a cancer charity and the bride and groom had dove chocolates that said on the inside of the wrapper that a donation was made.  I looked, but it was expensive to do and I want all our money to go to the charity!The donation I want to make is for a specific cause, for two horses that will need to be gelded this coming summer.  Do you think it would be nice to put a picture of these two little guys (maybe even a before and after) on the sign?  They were skeletons when they came at 6 months and 8 months old.  Both of their mothers had starved to death at least a month beforehand and they'd spent their entire lives with no solid food and almost no water.  They're completely different animals after nine months of food and love!I know I'm opening a can of worms here... but how is it distasteful to skip favors?  We're feeding our guests really well and having a delicious cake, so why on Earth would they feel they needed an organza bag filled with M&Ms in our wedding colors?

jenn.daniel

I think 3 registries are ok. I wouldn't register with a charity, but I think it'd be fine for your parents, bridal party to say when people ask about registries that you wouldn't mind if guests made a donation instead of giving a gift. Typically I'm opposed to the donation instead of favors, but I love animals, so I'm ok with yours. Not that I'm opposed to cancer research, but at least people think about that and I think helping animals is overlooked by too many people.