Registery Nightmare

MelonGirl2498

I need some advice. My FI and I can not agree on what to register for. We already live together and really don't need anything so therefore we would like cash. Of course no gift is required but we really don't want people to spend money on things we don't need. Thefore my FI would like to ask for cash when we send out our invitations. I think this is very tacky and I refuse to do it. Am I crazy in thinking this is tacky?? And how do I get him to understand that this is not acceptable? I told him that most people give cash regardless and there's no need to ask for it on the invitations. Any suggestions?

belletop

Definitely do not ask for cash or any mention of gifts at all on the invitations. 

FI and I also live together in a fully furnished house already.  We are going to have 1 registry with some things we could use (new sheets, food processor, toaster oven, new everyday china, etc.).

If you're not having any showers, you don't even have to create a registry.  Hopefully absence of registry will lead your guests to give money but there's honestly no good way to tell people "hey give us money!"  There's always the chance that someone will buy you that thoughtful gift of a leopard-print lamp lol. 

marissa_claire

The best way to handle this is to not register for anything at all.  People, for the most part, will understand to just give cash.  If someone asks where you're registered, just say "Oh, we're saving up for (trip to Europe, car, house, etc.)"

artbyallie

You're right. Your FI is wrong. Tell him this. And assure him that yes, people will most likely give you money if you do not register or only have a small registry.

Edit: And mentioning gifts AT ALL (even to say no thank you) on invitations is the epitome of bad etiquette. Don't do it.

MyNameIsNot

You're right, he's wrong.  Mentioning gifts at all in the invitation is rude enough, but to ask for cash gifts is just horrible.  

If you are having trouble showing him the way, let him come see this post.  Or any etiquette book on the planet.  

deepcovejackie

OP, you are soooo right!

MelonGirl2498

I am having a bridal shower, as I've been told by my bridesmaids and people are already asking where I am registered. I would like some new kitchen gadgets so I will register for those so should that only go on my bridal shower invitations then? I assume when you don't mention where you are registered on your invitation to the wedding people will get the hint that cash is acceptable.

DanielleM01

You shouldn't list where you are registered on your wedding invitations anyway, regardless of whether or not you just want cash. You can put them with your bridal shower invitations; the basic purpose of a bridal shower is to give the bride gifts.  If you have a small registry that is mostly bought out from your bridal shower, then yes, people will probably get the hint that cash is preferred.