Help! registry and bridal shower concerns

java8ball

I'm at a loss for what to do about a registry. My finance and I have lived on our own places for 10 plus years and there are few household items we need or want. In fact, in many cases we already have two of things.  I did set up a small registry basically upgrading sheets, towels and other basics. I've talked to my mom about telling people who ask her that money for the honeymoon or down payment on a house would be appreciated. All of this is fine, I think. But now I find myself with two bridal showers coming up in the next few months. I was considering having one of the showers be sort of honeymoon themed and looked into doing an on-line registry, but then I thought, isn't a major part of the shower the opening of gifts? Should I just register for more things? Is there some other way around this? Another thought I had was a stock our bar theme, but that might seem too tacky. We do enjoy wine and cocktails and this could extend to some new wine glasses, olives and mixers. Anyone have any suggestions?

Jen6862

Are you organizing your own bridal shower? Usually that something the BMs and family do.

In terms of gifts--do you already have china, etc? I have seen people do honeymoon registries... maybe you could do both so people have options? Or you could register at Amazon, which might open up options for different types of gifts from what you already have? Ladies?

Cattidrie

I wouldn't register for more items if they are not needed or really wanted. That's just a waste of your guest time and money.  I think the honeymoon registry would be good and perhaps a small tradition registry for the showers, etc.  And actually, if your group of friends/family know your and your FI love wines/beer etc., they might find it neat to "stock your bar".  It's something different and something you actually want and will use...

pantherRN

HM registries are not recommended at all. It is no better than asking for cash and the websites that do the HM registries charge a fee in some way. So, which Aunt Sally thinks she is giving you a $150 couples massage, she is really giving you $130 in cash.

What about registering at Sears? You could get tools, household items, maybe an appliance, while still having some traditional items. Also, you could register for some non-traditional itmes, like board games or campling equipment.

hlq2011

Ditto PPs.  Turn down showers if you don't want gifts, or don't have enough gifts on your upgrade registry to give your shower guests options.

But you can certainly add things like wine glasses, cocktail shakers, other cocktail glasses, corkscrews, and other drink-related paraphernalia to your registry.

When I was looking for more inexpensive items, I looked through lists of suggested gifts - you know, gifts for "wine lovers" and so forth.  And I also browsed the entertaining sections of the stores we registered at.  I got some good ideas from that for items that I wouldn't think of myself, until I needed them and didn't have them.

erinkathleen512

My friend was going through a similar situation where she and her fiance (boyfriend of eight years) had a lot of things already. Would you consider upgrading to higher-end items? Since my friend had a lot of things already, she did one of her registries at Simon Pearce and got really cool stemware, serveware, and vases made of handblown glass. Looking back, I wish I had registered somewhere like JCPenney or Sears, where they have SO many departments. You could get tools, a BBQ grill, new furniture- if the things are pricey, maybe you'll get gift cards to use towards them, plus most places offer a discount later on the items you didn't get. Sears is also a great place if you were thinking of redoing your bathroom or something along those lines. Or maybe you could look at a place like Pottery Barn or Crate and Barrel and focus on decorative, fun items since you already have many of the necessities. Just try thinking of something you've really wanted to do (like redecorating or upgrading what you already have)- these days, there are registries to fill almost every need!

PS- Personally, I don't see anything wrong with a honeymoon registry, but that's just my two cents. I can see where you might run into some awkwardness regarding the shower, but a few of my friends and I went in on a honeymoon gift for a friend, and we just printed out a picture for her and had a few knick-knacks included that related to the gift. She loved it!

futurepivko

i would definitely add the bar related stuff to your registry. things like that are fun!

we had someone offer to throw us a 'stock the bar' party. we turned it down though, i moved to another state to be with H and we didnt need to drag liquor across the country (we did register for wine glasses and such). the people who wanted to throw it werent THAT great of friends and were not invited to our wedding so we properly declined it.

if one is honeymoon related, how about new luggage?

noodle_oo

Hoenstly, if you don't need physical gifts, decline the showers. 

Or the themed showers are a good idea.  Just not cash themed showers, like contribute towards our honeymoon.  If you really only want cash, then you should decline the showers.

BrideCa2011

eh, why should she not have a shower just because she doesn't need a blender?  That is crazy.  

I personally think there is nothing wrong with a honeymoon or wish registry as one of your registries- we have one (www.uponourstar.com) and we love it.  We didn't need the more traditional things and not registering can backfire too- I have seen people who didn't and are in returning things hell because of it.  

I think you can register for whatever you want, which is a wish/universal registry is perfect!  

MNVegas

The whole point of the shower is to shower the bride with gifts, not cash. It is not appropriate to ask your guests for cash even when disguised as a HM registry.

Personally I would be willing to buy items for stock the bar, but if someone asked me for cash, forget it.

If you don't want physical gifts but your bridal party or family member still want a get together, they could host a luncheon or tea, but they should not call it a shower on the invitation.  Shower=gifts

Summer2011Bride

If you don't want physical gifts, then I'd turn down showers. I think the "stock the bar" thing is OK. I have been to many themed showers--entertaining, the kitchen, etc. Peopple don't have to just bring booze--like a PP posted, many accessories could go along with that theme. I would do that anyday over having a HM registry shower. That just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The idea is to open physical gifts, not a bunch of cash presents.

nurse.misty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-bridal-shower-concerns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:1e7b05a6-0f86-4be8-a4e8-277cacafa02dPost:a94dad76-6f20-4656-8bc8-acdb4be6b9c3">Re: Help! registry and bridal shower concerns</a>:
[QUOTE]The whole point of the shower is to shower the bride with gifts, not cash. It is not appropriate to ask your guests for cash even when disguised as a HM registry. Personally I would be willing to buy items for stock the bar, but if someone asked me for cash, forget it. If you don't want physical gifts but your bridal party or family member still want a get together, they could host a luncheon or tea, but they should not call it a shower on the invitation.  Shower=gifts
Posted by MNVegas[/QUOTE]

Ditto.

Patineuse1124

FWIW I had a HM registry and got a few items from there as well as cards with cash or BB&B gift cards at my shower.  The majority of the gifts were from my BB&B though.  If you're going to have a shower make sure you have enough items on a traditional registry, though if you have a HM registry you may get a few things from there. If the hosts of your showers are interested in making it a themed shower I think a wine theme would be nice (since wine comes in all price ranges).  Also you could register for wine glasses, cheese trays and cheese knifes, and other things that fit that theme.