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DW but celebration party in summer

Not sure what to do here...I'll try to be clear.
This is my 1st wedding and my FI 2nd. (No Children) We think we will be doing a DW with our parents, siblings, a few close firends, and maybe some Aunts/Uncles.  We think we'll leave it up to anyone who wants to pay to come and have a vaca with us is more than welcome.  It will be Feb 2011.  In the spring/summer we want to have a big outdoor barbeque/ party to have everyone else come and celebrate with us. My family really wants to throw a shower and all the jazz since it's my first but my MIL has made comments about his family already have bought him presents once.  Not sure what to do.  I don't want them to feel obligated... esp since we have many of those presents now (all the kitchen gadgets and stuff) since my FI ex just up and left him one day and left almost everything behind. If we do have the shower when do we have it?

Re: DW but celebration party in summer

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    I think it's kind of dumb that they don't want to buy you any presents as they already bought presents for his first wedding....but that's just me.

    You can always invite them to the shower and just tell them they don't have to feel obligated to buy you any more presents.

    I think a celebration party in the summer would be fine.  I'm having a small DW and at AHR when we return, but they are also happening in the same month.

    I think generally, showers are held 6 weeks before the wedding, but it is really up to you when you want to have it.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_dw-but-celebration-party-summer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:4280cf49-885e-42f1-9b07-25f88349f323Post:e1c299bd-afed-45de-9d31-0de6634ee9e3">Re: DW but celebration party in summer</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's kind of dumb that they don't want to buy you any presents as they already bought presents for his first wedding....but that's just me. You can always invite them to the shower and just tell them they don't have to feel obligated to buy you any more presents. I think a celebration party in the summer would be fine.  I'm having a small DW and at AHR when we return, but they are also happening in the same month. I think generally, showers are held 6 weeks before the wedding, but it is really up to you when you want to have it.
    Posted by ceilidhsaunders[/QUOTE]

    You don't throw the shower, so you don't pick when to have it.  Whoever decides to throw you the shower will decide when to have it, but often it's 6-8 weeks before the wedding, 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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    I am having a destination wedding in November of this year. My mom is throwing my wedding shower at the end of June because I have to fly home for it so I needed to plan in advance. Also my mom is inviting people to the shower that arent invited to the wedding. His mom is throwing me a shower at a later date and also inviting people to the shower who arent coming to the wedding. It is not rude I just couldnt invite all I wanted to the wedding.

    As for the second wedding thing with your fiance. It was a few years ago and if someone from his side gets upset at the idea they can simply decline the invitation to the shower.

    I have come to realize that I am the bride and if someone gets upset at one little thing I have to say screw it. We simply cannot please everyone!
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