i need advice BIG TIME

donnamarie02

We have are reception booked at Modern Art Muesum in fort worth. We set our package for 100 people and it was perfectly in budget. I knew that I would have to look into renting our own dancefloor b/c the would charge $1000. I also knew I would have to switch out the chairs b/c currents seats are so big it would only fit 85 guest.  knew the cost to rent the chaviar chairs was $500. What I didn't realize was they also charge $400 to remove the exitisting chairs. And... our guest list grew to 162. We shaved it down to 130. So here is  my dilemma. This was really hard for me I had to cut alot of college friends from the list (i've been out 4yrs) and FI didn't really cut anyway just counted his cousins w/o them bringing a guest. I just fill like the extra charges are starting to add up. I was orginally just expecting the dance floor vendor and chavari chairs. But w/the extra meals, dance floor, chair removal, and chavari chairs it brings me to $3742 at minium in extra charges. This is more than 30% of what we budgeted for the reception. I know that the guest overage is totally are fault but ouch not expecting that. We are paying for the wedding ourselves. We just bought a house and we've spent almost $14000 on the wedding already. When I saw how much more we would end of paying I about fainted. We still have other vendors to contract just linens and florist. This is totally freaking me out and I'm just about ready to call it all off and take a wedding moon. I know we would lose deposits but I fill like I would still come out spending less money than staying at the modern. I also thought about switching the reception to Bass Hall and using a caterer (outside catering is not allowed at the modern.) This would allow us to hold the reception and feed 160 people for the same price as 100 at the  modern. We would lose $2380 from the deposit at the modern. So in theory this option comes out price about the same either lose the money and go or pay the extra money at the modern. The Bass Hall option would allow us to invite everyone we would like to invite. I  just don't know what to do and it's taking everything in me to hold back the tears. i just feel like this is spinning out of control w/money. I've never seen myself as someone who would spend so much money on a wedding. We are the only ones in our families to ever even have a formal wedding. Everyone else is either single w/long time partners, or chuch and fellowship all weddings. I just really don't know what to do, please please help.

chchast

I voted other.  It really all comes down to what is more important to YOU.  I am having a "planned elopement", then sending out announcements to everyone, and lastly having a dinner party later for our immediate family (20 people max).

Having the big wedding with everyone there isn't important to me, but it sounds like it would mean a lot to you and your family.  You orginally picked the Modern so if you switch to the bass hall are you going to regret it in the long run?  I would say  to stay with the orignal venu and cut the guest list.

If I am reading this wrong and the big wedding is all just for the family then back out and take the wedding moon! 

MarieSD

I think I know kind of how you feel. I never thought I'd spend so much on a wedding either, and I sometimes feel guilty about it. Luckily, we have the money - I just didn't intend to spend so much of it on one day.

Have you looked at every rental company in town to compare prices on chairs and the dance floor? In FW, I've bookmarked Northwest Rentals, Taylor Rentals, Celebration Event Rental, and Simply Elegant Weddings, and I've noticed a pretty big difference in their prices on different things. Northwest Rentals comes in cheaper on a lot of things, I think.

Would you consider other chairs than chivari? Maybe you already found a fabulous deal on them ... but they're sometimes twice as expensive as other chairs. And, unless that's an important part of the look you're going for ... are the chairs something you'll look back on and regret, if you choose plainer chairs?

Could you talk frankly with the wedding coordinator there? I haven't had much luck negotiating with wedding vendors, but some people say it works for them. Maybe you could ask about the chair-removal fee, for example - if there's anything you can do to reduce that $400 fee.

I've now decided not to cover the (kind of ugly) folding chairs at my reception venue because, honestly, if I hadn't seen so many pictures of weddings I'd never even have known such things existed! And I'd rather put that money elsewhere and I know, two years from now, I'm not going to care whether the chairs were covered or not. I'd rather have that money to put up my bridesmaids and parents in a nice hotel for the wedding weekend.

Personally, I wouldn't want to waste that deposit money ... I'd just try to really evaluate what the most important things are and see if there's anywhere you can trim costs elsewhere. (I know, easier said than done!) I'm going minimal on linens, flowers, and centerpieces to make up for my more expensive photographer and DJ than I planned, for example.

donnamarie02

The Modern rents the chairs out on their own. I will check into Northwest rentals about the dance floor and talk about waiving the removal fee w/the coordinator. But I'll still be paying $57 for every person over 100. This is so hard b/c your totally right I don't want to lose deposit, but it may come out cheaper to leave the Modern even w/losing the deposit. It's just so... beautiful. I have an appointment w/bass hall on Friday I will pencil it all out then.

tnickel06

Like PP said, it depends on what is more important to you. I had my reception at
Bass Hall and it was amazing! But you also lose money switching. And don't forget that with Bass Hall, you have to do alcohol through them and have bartender and security fees.

MarieSD

It looks like a dance floor prices are roughly the same from three of the vendors. The last link below tells you how you can calculate how much flooring you need; it looks like for your size wedding you could get away with a $225 floor from Northwest Rentals. (Maybe more for delivery, but that does include setup).

http://northwestrentals.net/danceFloors.html
http://www.celebrationeventrental.com/celebration_store/flooring_dancefloor_indoorwhiteacrylic.php
http://simplyelegantwed.com/Dance_Floors_.html

Personally, I'd explore all my options, including the meeting with Bass Hall like you're doing. It always made me feel better to calculate my costs if I did my wedding a different way. Usually, I found the way I was already going was cheaper, so I found that reassuring.

But it might help you to tell the wedding coordinator at the Modern how seriously these extra charges are making you rethink your wedding reception. If your wedding date is not a super-popular wedding date they could easily rebook, they might be perfectly willing to reduce some fees to keep your wedding (and therefore, the rest of your money). Telling them what the problems are for you - the chairs, the extra plates of food - might give them ideas how to reduce those fees. Maybe they own other chairs, or could mix and match some chivari with their regular big chairs, or they could substitute some part of the food for something cheaper.

And has your FI realized how much it costs for every extra guest? Mine was MUCH more willing to cut his long-lost cousins and grade school pals once he realized how much this wedding was costing. He once told me he thought a wedding like ours would cost around $3000 - he wasn't the one doing the math and wasn't even noticing how much money was going out of his paycheck into our wedding account.

JennaV26

I considered The Modern when I was looking for reception venues but the extra fees killed it for me! $1,000 for the dance floor?? No thanks!

I agree that you need to meet with Bass Hall and then crunch the numbers. If it's really important to you to invite the extra people (I know that would mean a lot to me) then you might just want to move it. Taking a hit on the deposit really sucks tho! Let us know what you decide!

JennaV26

Wow. My post wasn't helpful at all! Sorry!!! I feel for you though!

ezzyv

I think crunching the numbers with your FI will help. Maybe he will help cut the list if you decide to go that route or maybe he will say lets bite the bullet and switch venues. All in all I think that a major powwow is in order.

 Wedding planning shouldn't be so stressful. />.<

Myles+Tami

Not sure if this is even an option.. but could you change your reception from a more formal sit down dinner to a buffet? I've been to a TON of receptions where around half of the chairs are even used at one time. Maybe lightening up the menu could cut down on the cost pp too.

I'm not sure what the floor looks like at the venue.. but would it be possible to clear an area of the floor in some other way? Maybe to arrange the tables and maybe mark the floor somehow with decorations hanging from the ceiling or even around the floor  that would signify a dance floor without actually having to actually rent one?

I know those are both kind of drastic.. but losing that deposit money would be really frustrating.

NMac2010

I agree with PP, have you considered doing a buffet style instead of a plated, sit down dinner? It will be less expensive, and people will enjoy it just the same.

Also, do you need a dancefloor? Can you just arrange the tables in such a way where there is a "dancefloor" already? I promise, once again, it's one of those things that nobody will notice or care about. As long as there is dancing, people will have a good time.

Just options to think about. I wouldn't suggest bailing on the deposit if your goal is to try and save money. Because you'll just have to go and put down another deposit, and spend additional money at Bass Hall. And even though it may not be as expensive as the Modern, it will more than likely even out in the end when you add in the deposit amount that is now a sunk cost, and you know you're not getting back.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. PP is right, wedding planning shouldn't be this stressful!

GL

Tiffany618

Set a finite budget.  Seriously.  If you are going over on catering due to the # of people, then you have to cut it somewhere else.

The Modern is GORGEOUS.  Use candles for centerpieces instead of flowers or DIY the flowers.  Look at chair covers instead of renting chairs.  Drop something un-necessary from the menu.   DIY as much as you can.  Every little bit helps.  I agree about the dance floor, do you have to rent one?  As pp said, arrange the tables to make one...and maybe get one of those monogram gocco light things or something to make it fancy.  They aren't cheap, but I bet they are MUCH less than $1000.

If it were me, I wouldn't throw away my deposits, as you will start out "in the hole" at the Bass Hall. 

Good Luck!

fallbride1109

What is more important--having all 160 there or staying in budget?  I think this is the question you need to ask yourself.  Also, it would absolutely KILL me to lose an almost $3k deposit.  I don't think I could walk away from that.

The Modern IS gorgeous.  I say go ahead and meet with Bass but also try and negotiate with the Modern.  Did they disclose that extra fee? Was it in the contract? Maybe you have a case for having them waive it.  Also if you can rent cheaper chairs do it--no one will notice.  Either way you go, I agree with all the other suggestions here, DIY, candles, cheaper chairs, etc.  Also negotiate with Bass--see if they will offer you more than the Modern.  Crunch the numbers, try to negotiate and and then see where you are. 

cfibelkorn

Now all the advice is probably starting to sound the same haha but here is mine:

Rent cheaper chairs, like possibly Garden Chairs...they are about half the price of Chavari Chairs

www.atozpartyrental.net/images/table_and_chair_rental/chair.rental.pa.folding.resin.chair.jpg" border="0" alt="" width="116" height="150" />

Also you dont need an actual dance floor...you could layout the tables to "make" a dance floor area...maybe designate it by hanging string lights or those paper laterns.


Try serving less food or change it to buffet style dinner.

Cut out favors or any other unnecessary items.


What is more important to you:   Staying in your budget or having more guests? Honestly please answer that for me. That answer will make it alot simpler for you.

I would not recommend going to the Bass Hall...but thats just me because I could not imagine losing $3K

lacy1603

Is this yall's first house?  If so, have you thought about getting the "first-time homebuyer credit"?  I'm just trying to think outside the box so that you can have it where you want and be able to afford it.

donnamarie02

Ok ladies I thought of all those options to stay at the modern here's the problemo

1. chairs- the modern provides the chairs, it comes w/the big blue ones or you can upgrade to white or silver chavari. Those are the only options. I've never asked about bringing in my own but I can give it a shot.

2. dancefloor- I had the same thought too, do we have to have a dancefloor? The floor is carpet so yep we have to have a dancefloor. Although I wouldn't care about dancing on carpet but hey I don't own the floor. They just got a new coordinator so I'll try asking again.

3. food- we are already serving buffet style not sit down, although their coordinator did suggest doing stations instead that way people don't necessarily have to have a seat to  sit down to eat but I thought that was wierd to have people stand and eat.

4. centerpieces- we are doing candle centerpieces already, we just need flowers for the people. I consider having the girls carry a candle similar to what you see at a memorial service. I'm also considering skipping out on linens b/c they provide black and white ones free. My colors are navy and raspberry(like a deep magenta) so I wasn't sure about which free color linen would match best.

Thanks for all the ideas

fallbride1109

NO to standing and eating.  We did stations and still had regular seating but whatever, it probably wouldn't save you any money.

Try Central Market for your flowers.  Use the free linens and dress them up with rose petals, candles, table numbers, menus, etc. in your colors.  There are a couple of other great budget florists here:  Kim May (Wagner used her) and Thuy Paulo (?)--the one melissaandjoel used come to mind.

Keep the chairs but try and get them to waive the fee.  And trim the guest list. 

ewinkler1977

I don't think losing a 3K deposit is going to help save money.  Maybe seriously look at the guest list and trim it down. I know its hard but that is a really good way to save money.

You could look at alternatives for centerpieces instead of flowers or go very simple on fllowers and Central Market is a good option.

I know it can seem overwhelming right now but once your wedding day is where and you celebrate it with all your friends and family, everything will be worth it.  I promise.

NMac2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_need-advice-big-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:cb2d3e55-eb50-4349-add8-457eef232b69Post:3d524b47-08f8-4b86-bd02-ad04b51a6332">Re: i need advice BIG TIME</a>:
[QUOTE]Is this yall's first house?  If so, have you thought about getting the "first-time homebuyer credit"?  I'm just trying to think outside the box so that you can have it where you want and be able to afford it.
Posted by lacy1603[/QUOTE]

I think that credit ended in April. I think, could be wrong, but I think you had to close on a house by June 30th in order to take advantage of it.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong though!

lacy1603

Hmmm...I have no idea when it ended.  We did it the first year it was offered so we have to pay it back, but the people that did it last year don't have to pay it back.

NMac2010

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you had to be in contract and closed by June 30th. Because FI and I aren't going to be able to use it.

cfibelkorn

Uhh! Me too Lacy!!! When i found out the new one you didn't have to pay back I was so PO'ed

But it is what it is so I sucked it out and tried to put a positive spin on it....you cant beat a 15 year interest free loan haha

donnamarie02

It's our first house and we were under contract and closed in time. FI wants to use the money for that but I wanted to use it for funiture and house stuff. I am going to go talk w/H&R block next week about amending and getting the money now.

MarieSD

That's nice that they include free linens! That will definitely save some money! My linen budget for 130 guest dining tables is $300 - excluding setup & delivery fees - and those are for the absolutely cheapest ones I could find. I haven't even thought about covering the cocktail and food tables, so that'll be even more.

If I don't know how much you've allotted to the flowers, but my flowers only came to $330 including delivery. That's bouquets/corsages for my myself, the groom, 4 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen, 4 ushers, and moms/dads/grandparents. And my bouquet is 1/3 of that cost, so I still might downgrade that and save even more $$.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

TexanTreasure08

Just FYI you wont get the money right away. We amended and did it right then and we had to wait a few months for the money. They are pretty far behind, I think they quoted us 10-16 weeks? But you can ask H&R they should know the current turnaround times.

ladykme

Have you thought about using chair covers instead of getting new chairs.  I'm having the same issue with the chairs at my venue, but I have opted to do covers because it is so much cheaper than renting chairs.  And I do concur.  The wedding fees and expenses add up.  I've found a lot of cuts and some great vendors that have done a wonderful job without breaking my checkbook.  I wish you the best. And God bless you and your husband to be.

donnamarie02

It's not that I don't like the chairs they just don't fit in the room if you need seating for more than 85. Marie SD who is your florist? Our bridal parties are the same size so that's a great deal. I would like to look into it. All you girls have been so  much help. Thanks bunches.

MarieSD

My florist is Tarah Cooper - a super nice lady! Her website is here: http://www.tlc-flowers.com/

I don't think she has a storefront or anything - I contacted her through the website and we arranged a Starbucks to meet up and discuss the flowers.

I forgot, I decided to nix the ushers/groomsmen flower and we're going to do colorful handkerchiefs instead. And I ordered some yellow roses in a vase for some relatives who can't be at the ceremony for $40. So, anyway, my actual cost for my large bouquet of roses, 4 bridesmaid's gerber daisy bouquets, boutinieres/corsages for 2 dads/2 moms/1 groom/1 grandma, and delivery is $290.

Make sure you mention you got a referral from me to get the "referral discount" on delivery ($50 instead of $150). I'll PM you my real name.