Registry and Gift Forum

What did you do/What would you recommend?

FI and I are going to be registering right after the holidays. We are thinking of just doing a small registry at BBB, because we've lived together for over a year and we really only want a few upgrades.

However, my sister brought up a good point. She said to register for whatever we want because we won't be living in our tiny apartment forever. Right now, we barely have enough storage space for the stuff we have--our Christmas tree is jammed in the closet during the year along with our air conditioner and everything else we don't use year round. Right now it doesn't bother me that we have a mish-mash of unmatching silverware, mostly drink everything out of (also unmatching) mugs, and have the ugly dishes my FI has had for years. Just our microwave and coffee pot take up our entire counter space, so there's no space for the Kitchenaid mixer my FI dreams about owning. But when we buy our own place, we probably will want nice stuff. Besides, I wouldn't MIND throwing away half our mugs and all the silverware to make room for the nice new stuff. It's just that I also don't MIND keeping things as they are while we're living in our tiny little place.

So should we register for things we will want someday but don't really have space for now and just try to make space to keep it? One of the reasons we didn't want to register for a lot is that we were hoping some people may choose to give us cash if they get us anything (TBH, if there was a polite way to say "no gifts," we would). Then we could save the cash for the down payment on the condo we really want. Sis argues that once we get the condo, we won't want to spend the money on glassware and appliances, so we should register for it now so we have it.

Did you register for all the items you wanted, even if you didn't have space for it at the time? What would you do?
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Re: What did you do/What would you recommend?

  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't recommend registering for things that you can't use right away and will have to store.   If you don't end up using it for a few years, then you might not even like it later, or it might seem dated.   I would just register for what you think you'll use (and can store) now.

    Edited to add:  you can definitely upgrade to new stuff!   You can donate your old stuff to good will or have a garage sale instead of throwing it away.
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  • I registered for things I don't really have room for.  My china is in a box in a closet.  The stand mixer is in the laundry room. 

    You mentioned silverware and dishes being mismatched - yes register for those and donate your old items. 
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  • We don't have a lot of kitchen space in our apartment...but we're registering for things we know we'll use, even if it isn't right away...
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't register for anything you can't store now.  If the Christmas tree is in the A/C closet, where would you put a kitchenaid?  Rent a storage locker for it?  I also agree with PP.  If you don't use it for a couple of years, it's going to seem old or dated when you finally get to use it.  

    But I would register for a matching set of dishes and silverware.  You can switch that out for your old stuff now, and won't need to store it.  
  • I would register for matching items in patterns that you and your FI both like and donate your old silverware and dishes.  As for nice things that you can't fit right now, but want in the future, why not get a storage unit for your seasonal items, and then you can have easier access to your new things--mixer, china, wine glasses, etc.--in the closet in your apartment?  
  • Ditto Jessica, I would go ahead and pick out dishes and silverware you like that will match.  It will be a nice upgrade.  Then you can hand down or donate your mismatched dishes.
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  • Thanks for the advice, everyone! I just talked to FI and I think we're going to upgrade the stuff that is too awful to move when we get our condo, like the puke-green dishes.

    I'm also glad it's normal to register for stuff you can't use right away and to store it. However, because of everything you guys said, I think we will leave out most of the bigger appliances. Although if we do decide to register for that mixer and we get it, I think FI would rather throw out the microwave to make room for it. (Right before he dies of happiness.)
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  • i think it would be ok for you to register for things for a new house.  the things you dont have to worry about matching. just make sure it is things that you will still like in a year or whenever it is that you get a house.  

    if they have the space and are ok with it, maybe store it at a parents basement, or get a small indoor storage locker.  im sure there is a family member that wouldnt mind helping you out and let you keep some things in a closet in the spare room or something.
  • I think there's a fine line with this topic. I know I struggle with it. At the moment, neither of us have our own place. In a few months, we'll be looking for an apartment to live in together. We have no idea where it will be, how big it will be & how much storage it will have. All I know is that we can't afford a lot.

    Yet, we have to register now. I'm registering for everything that I want and if it is genuinely something I can't find the space for, I'll return it for the credit and use it in another way. I agree that if you get the cash instead, you will probably find another way to use it (fixing the car), rather than buying that fine china. I do have the option of storing things in my parent's basement if needed, so maybe that's why I'm not so worried.
  • I think you should be willing to store at least a bit of it.  If your FI wants that KA mixer, you should register for it.  They are awesome and will last you decades.  But they're also expensive.  Same thing goes for china/crystal.  Not everybody wants it, but if you want it someday you should do it.  Fine china usually starts around $2000 for a whole set and goes up (waaaay up) from there.  If you have to store it for a little while, even a couple of years, think about how nice it will be to start you life in your new condo with some beautiful and relatively new things.  FI and I are going to be living apart for about 8 months immediately after we get married while he's finishing up law school.  I'm going to store whatever we get and save it for when he moves in - that way it's brand new and a fun thing for us to start using once we are living together full time.  It also lets me squeeze an extra year out of the stuff I have now so I feel even less guilty about donating it when the time comes.
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  • We've lived together for the better part of a decade at this point, but we still have plenty of things we'd like to upgrade -- hell even some of the stuff we bought ourselves now needs replacing because it's of low quality or isn't our style anymore or I got drunk and broke one of the plates. I don't think your registry has to be all about "needs" and if you're not a fan of those puke green plates, you should definitely register for some new ones! You can always donate those old ones to someone else newly on their own!
    Lizzie
  • I hate clutter. I'd never register for things I couldn't store, especially if there was a move in my foreseeable future. I hate moving clutter!!!

    While typical registry items seem expensive, with the exception of the fine china, most could easily be barely-saved-for purchases. I have nice glassware from Crate&Barrel that were $1-$3 each. That's a set of 12 for less than $50, which is how much one dinner out can cost a couple.
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