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Confused

Ok, new issue regarding the bridal shower... Yell My fiance looked at my "guest list" for the bridal shower and thought I needed to add this person and that person...before I knew it, it seemed like I had every female on the wedding guest list on the bridal shower guest list. THEN he brought up this....the more people that come to the shower, the less people will come to the wedding. I mentioned this to my mother last night and she said that it does happen...often times people will just go to the shower and not the wedding, especially if they're OOT guests (which many of ours are). Any thoughts? I don't want people to be hurt if they don't get invited to the shower, but I also want more at my actual wedding!

"The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain."
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Re: Confused

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    I would think for OOT guests it would be the opposite. The OOT people would skip the shower and attend the wedding. I would never travel to far for a shower, but have traveled distances for weddings.
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    I think you are worrying needlessly. Some people will come to the shower who can't come to the wedding. Some will come to the wedding that can't come to the shower. Some will come to both. Neither date is going to work for everyone. Personally just because I go to a shower has nothing to do with whether I will also attend the wedding. Whether I attend depends more on the dates of the 2 events, the proximity to me - is it within driving distance or is 2,000 miles away.


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    edited August 2010
    Well here's the interesting thing...I moved away and most of my family is in another state, so my mother and MOH think I should have a shower with my family back home and a shower where I'm from for my bridal party, friends, and fiance's side of the family. I think if I do it that way, the OOT people may not come then. Personally I think it's rude to have 2 showers...it would make it look like I'm all about gifts, but I really just want to see my family that I haven't seen in 10 years.  I've always gone to the shower and the wedding but I don't usually have to travel.  Idk
    "The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain."
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    It's not rude to have two showers, as long as everybody (other than the moms and WP) is invited to only one of them.  If two people offer to throw you showers in different locations, it's fine to accept both.

    You don't need to invite everybody to the shower that's invited to the wedding, but I would defer to your FI or his mom on whether particular people will be upset not to be invited to the shower.
    Married 10/2/10
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    In your situation 2 showers is not uncommon.  And it shouldn't make you look like you are all about the gifts since you aren't the one throwing the party.  If people have offered to throw you showers in 2 differnt locations it is perfecty ok for you to accept both offers.  I personally would never attend a shower and then miss the wedding but I have missed the shower and attended the wedding.  If I'm going to travel it's going to be for the wedding and not the shower. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    It's fine to have multiple showers, and having 2 showers isn't at all unusual especially if most of your guests are centered in 2 different locations.  The only guests who should be invited to both showers are the mothers of the bride and groom and your bridesmaids.

    Inviting OOT guests to showers does seem gift grabby to me though, since most people wouldn't travel for a shower.  There were a couple OOT guests invited to ours but they live at most a couple hours away and were from the area, so they are sometimes home on weekends to visit family and friends.

    Ask the hosts of the showers how many guests they want for the guest list and make a list based on that.  I just handed over my guest list address sheet and let the hosts decide.
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    holy sensual sig pic OP...
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    Like pp's it's not uncommon for brides to have more than one shower.  I also am more likely to travel for the wedding as opposed to the shower.  There are many instances where guests are not invited to the shower(s) but attend the wedding. I have been invited to two of my guy friends' weddings; in one instance I was invited to the shower but in another I was not.
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