Is there a nice way to say "please stick to the registry when buying us gifts?"

blondegirl2789

My bridal shower was this past weekend and about half my guests brought gifts that we did not register for. Some were very sincere like my grandmother hand-embroidered some kitchen towels. I love them and they are not what I am referring to. I'm referring to family members who either went to the store we registered at and bought random things that were not on our registry. Now they show up on my registry as "want 0, purchased 1." Or, some other guests bought duplicates and also submitted them as registry gifts so my registry says "want 1, purchased 2."
Is there any nice way to explain the purpose of a registry and what the numbers mean to some family and friends? At the shower, my fiance came after it was over to help me transport gifts to where we are keeping them before the wedding and someone asked him if he "really" wanted the knives we registered for or if they could use their own discretion as to which knives we want. The thing is, we thouroughly researched the products for our registry because we wanted things with good reviews so that we know it would last. Any suggestions?

twilight.rose

There's really not a polite way to make certain that people will only purchase items off of your registry. We also received a few random items not from the registry that did not go with our decor whatsoever.

Simply write a sincere thank you note thanking the giver for thinking of you, and leave it at that.

hoffse

You can't say anything without sounding ungrateful.  Registries are just wish lists, nothing more.  If you can't settle for things off registry or from a different brand, just return them for gift cards and complete your registry with the discounts later on.  If you have a bunch of expensive items (like averaging in the $70s instead of in the $40s), it may be that people are trying to buy you things similar to what you want but that they can afford.  You can also probably expect to get a weird number count if you have expensive items because people are more likely to go to amazon or some other place to find the same thing for less money.  I know I do that.  I figure if the bride is asking for it, she should be grateful for however she gets it, even if it screws up her count.  Part of registering is returning duplicates.  It may be a bit of an inconvenience to you, but it's going to sound really ungrateful if you basically tell your family and friends that you ONLY want these brands from YOUR list so that you don't have to do any additional work.  Try to look on the bright side: returning duplicates means those gift cards go a bit further with completion discounts at the end.

jessicabessica

Ditto PPs.  You can't say anything without seeming rude and ungrateful.  And definitely don't say anything after you receive the gifts (can't tell if that's what you're thinking about, since your shower happened already). 

If people ask you going forward about items, I don't see anything wrong with politely mentioning that you researched items and selected things, but you would be happy with any gift.  We registered for one knife to go with a nice set that my FI already has; if someone asked me if I wanted that particular brand or if they could get one they liked better, I would explain to them that we already have many knives from that set, so that's why we registered for that specific brand, but we would be grateful for anything they wanted to give us. 

Manwaithiel

No.

AllyR75

Sorry there isn't really a polite way to say anything. Wait until after the wedding and exchange the items for the gifts you really wabt - but keep it to yourself.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_there-nice-way-say-please-stick-registry-buying-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:8598b240-a131-4158-a4c9-52dd10449d56Post:5e74a024-57d9-4f21-9517-ee90b16edf4d">Is there a nice way to say "please stick to the registry when buying us gifts?"</a>:
[QUOTE]My bridal shower was this past weekend and about half my guests brought gifts that we did not register for. Some were very sincere like my grandmother hand-embroidered some kitchen towels. I love them and they are not what I am referring to. I'm referring to family members who either went to the store we registered at and bought random things that were not on our registry. Now they show up on my registry as "want 0, purchased 1." Or, some other guests bought duplicates and also submitted them as registry gifts so my registry says "want 1, purchased 2." Is there any nice way to explain the purpose of a registry and what the numbers mean to some family and friends? At the shower, my fiance came after it was over to help me transport gifts to where we are keeping them before the wedding and someone asked him if he "really" wanted the knives we registered for or if they could use their own discretion as to which knives we want. The thing is, we thouroughly researched the products for our registry because we wanted things with good reviews so that we know it would last. Any suggestions?
Posted by blondegirl2789[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>No, there's not an ok way to say that.</div><div>
</div><div>As with any gift, you should gratiously accept whatever someone opted to pick out and purchase for you.  Send a note, and appreciate that they put in the effort.</div><div>
</div><div>BTW, for the added stuff on the registry, you can go online and delete it.  And with the knives, that's probably a subtle hint about price ranges.  Go back and be sure you have a variety of price ranges left on your list.  

</div>

LoveMuffins

One of my friends apparently thought that the registry was ONLY for wedding gifts and that she wasn't allowed to bring a gift to the shower that was on the registry. It took 3 of us and 15 minutes to convince her that she could buy a shower gift for her soon to be SIL off the registry =P It's possible that some of the people at your shower thought the same. Just hope for that and know that, as PPs said, it's not possible to ask them to do differently anyway.

trix1223

No.  I can pretty much promise you that if I received a note saying that I had to "stick to the registry when buying you a gift", you'd be getting a hand crocheted toilet paper cover.

While I sort of understand your point, there just isn't any way to graciously do something so ungracious.

A hearty good luck to you.

blush64

I tend to stick to the registry but if I were told I had to stick to it I would not. If I am buying a gift it is my choice as to what I will buy. I would find it rude to be told what to get.

There's just no nice way to ask for stuff. You accept what you get and return what you can.

I hope it won't be a big problem and most people will stick to it.

Milsey32

Sorry, no. I'm worried about that too though.. oh well. Life will go on!

erinkay81

No good way to say this, nor should you.
However, you can return things for store credit... depending on where it came from. I'm in the process of researching some "interesting" gifts that I was given as we speak. They will be heading back to where they came from... hopefully!

noodle_oo

Nope, you will sound snotty and ungrateful if you say anything like that.  Just return the items you don't want for credit and use it to complete your registry.  At lest since the items were scanned with the registry it should be very easy to return them even if the guests forgot the gift receipts.  Be grateful for that at least!

quirky75

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_there-nice-way-say-please-stick-registry-buying-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:8598b240-a131-4158-a4c9-52dd10449d56Post:3d17212c-b17c-43fc-8f9e-7a7ddc148c3d">Re: Is there a nice way to say "please stick to the registry when buying us gifts?"</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope, you will sound snotty and ungrateful if you say anything like that.  Just return the items you don't want for credit and use it to complete your registry.  At lest since the items were scanned with the registry it should be very easy to return them even if the guests forgot the gift receipts.  Be grateful for that at least!
Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

My thought exactly. Thank everyone for their gifts with a smile on your face since you really can't tell them to "stick to the registry". Then return what you can and complete your registry since you did say you went through and picked things out carefully.

blondegirl2789

Thanks for all the responses!
I never intended to sound ungrateful and snotty. And I do have every intention of sending out thank you notes (they will go out when I buys stamps). However, it was mostly the question of gifts going forword that worried me. We already tried returning something (from a different guest because they did not add it to the registry when it was purchased so we got duplicates) and it was from a different store so we will have to return the other one we got.
Also, someone mentioned it was possibly due to the price of our knives. We did not register for a knife block set. We registered for separate knives/set of steak knives so as not to ask for one person to spend an outrageous amount of money. So I do not think that is the problem.
Considering all your repsonses, I have made up my mind as to how to handle this situation going forword. Thank you.