WARNING: rant about coworker/registry

OuachitaTrixie

Ok, maybe I'm over sensitive sue to pre-wedding stress but...

How rude and b****-y is it to tell someone that their registry is "wasteful and selfish" because you don't like their choices?  I'm not talking about registering for a ski boat or anything.  I'm talking about a highly common registry item.  One that has been registered for since the dawn of registries: china.

I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DON'T USE YOUR CHINA!  I will use mine.  Just don't buy it for me if you don't want to.  No one is forcing you to "waste" money on a plate.  A plate that one year ago you wanted, and got, BTW.  And for Pete's sake don't follow me around the office yammering on about how much you dislike washing dishes so, ergo, I will never use my china.  That statement is completely illogical and would never hold up as a chain of events in any philosophy class, any court room, grammer lesson, or on the marker board of a physicist. Maybe no one likes your cooking...Maybe THAT'S why you never use your china. 

Welp, at least that's what I wish I could have said in reply...

Sorry about the rant and thanks for listening.

noodle_oo

Did she actually say "your registry is wasteful and selfish"?  If so that was rude.

If she was just making a general comment that in her opinion china is wasteful because no one uses it, I think you need to take a moment and calm down.  You sound stressed and you should just laugh it off.  Who cares what she thinks anyway?

We haven't used our china yet, but i still love it. Of course, we bought most of it ourselves since it didn't get bought much off the registry. 

OuachitaTrixie

oh, she definitely told me that I was wasteful and selfish.  Her comments were directly about me and based on her choices when she sets her table.  It just annoys me that because she has decided to let one year of her life define the rest of her hopefully very long life, that I should also let that one year of her life define my life as well.  Then she followed me around the office for the next ten minutes continuing to explain how selfish I am for wanting china that in her opinion I will never use. 

Trust me, I wish this was a laughable event!
I'm actually quite calm about it, outwardly, I just really wanted to vent in a controlled environment.  Thank you for your concern. 

Y'all should have a romantic dinner this weekend and use your china!

jessicabessica

She sounds silly.  Vent here, then kill her whining with kindness next time. 

OuachitaTrixie

haha thanks jessica!

Avion22

Wow.  This girl sounds kind of unstable.  I mean, unless you asked her, "Hey Sue, I'm thinking about registering for China, what you do you think?" then WHY does she think you care about her opinion?

SteveandKris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_warning-rant-coworkerregistry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ab2f914e-96d2-4def-9267-d95a5ee060c3Post:2e6e8110-8d9c-42ea-a97c-c7d51c043129">Re: WARNING: rant about coworker/registry</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow.  This girl sounds kind of unstable.  I mean, unless you asked her, "Hey Sue, I'm thinking about registering for China, what you do you think?" then WHY does she think you care about her opinion?
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

and why is she following you?

OuachitaTrixie

sigh...  I don't know.  She may be unstable.  I'm still not 100% sure that she's not a martian but even with my opinion of her I still allowed her to get under my skin... So that part was my fault.

But no, I never asked her for her opinion.  Out of her own curiosity she looked up my registry (which I have never mentioned at work) at BBB and then told me what she thought about it.  I work in an office (because I'm super lucky) where there are more Martians than Earthlings.  I should be used to this type of behaviour, but every now and then they catch me off guard.

haha, I feel so much better now, so this has become funny.  But only after a few hours of being pissed.

GeauxTigers17

While I'll fully confess that I look at my friends' registries to see what they pick out, it's straight crazy to go give someone your opinion on it! She sounds like a nut.

Next time she says something I'd throw out a "thanks for the input!" and then change the subject. Just treat her like something to laugh at - it's so much easier than getting upset.

I go to school with a total one-upper who is also engaged, and she loves to ask me if I have made a decision (say, if I've picked out a cake) and then go on and on about how she just can't decide, because her parents are spending SO much money, and it's going to be SO nice, yada yada, and how she just can't believe I make decisions so easily. Now, when she asks me, I ask her "why do you ask?" and she still moves on to her little money babbling but it's way funnier now because it's even more apparent how ridiculous she is. 

OuachitaTrixie

GEAUXTIGERS ~ You are awesome!  I wish that I had that kind of emotional control.  Ugh, I know about the One-Upper situation as well.  Luckily mine is fairly easy to avoid.  I love that you have fun with yours!  haha! you rock!

ps, I love your user name!  I'm a Hog though...Just sayin'  

GeauxTigers17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_warning-rant-coworkerregistry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ab2f914e-96d2-4def-9267-d95a5ee060c3Post:a0fd7da3-dbd0-4ade-b7a2-8fe463ebc8f3">Re: WARNING: rant about coworker/registry</a>:
[QUOTE]GEAUXTIGERS ~ You are awesome!  I wish that I had that kind of emotional control.  Ugh, I know about the One-Upper situation as well.  Luckily mine is fairly easy to avoid.  I love that you have fun with yours!  haha! you rock! ps, I love your user name!  I'm a Hog though...Just sayin'   ;)
Posted by OuachitaTrixie[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Haha thanks...yeah, for some reason, Arkansas tends to have our number. Not sure what that's about, but I hate going up there to play y'all. </div><div>
</div><div>And yeah, trust me, it's really, really hard not to want to punch her sometimes. I think 90% of it is insecurity, though, so when I look at it like that, it's hard to be mad. It's got to be exhausting to be a one-upper.</div>

BlueBoxBride

Is it possible that she doesn't want you to have more "stuff" than her? 

Some people get really wonky when they're feeling competitive. 

aegrish

I had a co-worker that went off on me because we had drinks at my bridal shower.  It was like she was hosting it or something.  Sometimes I think people like that are just jealous.  I just laughed her off. Funny thing was she was one of the first guests to get a drink at the shower!  And she had plenty too.

OuachitaTrixie

oh my word!  the martians are everywhere!  Y'all have some great advice though!  Thanks!

aegrish - your story cracked me up!

retread - i love your chip and dip technique!  haha!  too funny!