I love my extended family, but....

texaggie07

they take up 1/3 of the guest list. All out of towners too. I'm just ranting and am actually very excited at the possibilty of them all showing up. However if hardly any of them show up those are invites I could've given to friends in town!

DFWIndian

Unfortunately, it's the risk you take with these things. We took off friends so we can have all our family invited. It sucks if they don't come, but if they do then you are really screwed. Are there any you can send an invite to later? Maybe it's not appropriate though.

courtski2004

Same with mine--there are so many that I know won't come. I did a very dangerous thing and invited way more than we are anticipating (200 on the guest list, expecting 150) so that we could include as many local friends as possible.
I recommend having an A list and a B list--your OOT relatives that can't make it will most likely let you know a little further in advance which would open the door to other friends.

texaggie07

True. I'm going to dinner with my parents on Friday night and hopefully they'll have some insight as to whether or not all 50 of them will show up. If they give me a few that they think won't show then I'll add a few more to the list, like you did Courtski.

courtski2004

The best way to find out will be to send all of the OOT guests STD's (if you're doing them). If they can't come, they'll let someone know--that way you have that info before you have the local people accounted for for actual invites.

maglinpa

You guys are lucky.  I can put my entire family in a Tahoe and still have room for guests.  Everyone in my family is part of the wedding party.  Both parents were only children and my Mom's parents were only children.  All of my grandparents will be watching from above.  I have some cousins (three times removed) on my Dad's side, but have never met them.  My FI has a bigger family thank goodness!!!

texaggie07

Maglinpa, that's the way it is for me and my FI, except the opposite. I have the huge family and he has 9 on his invite list. I do consider myself lucky and am happy to have such a big famliy but at the same time it's hard to be able to invite all my friends!

maglinpa

Yeah, I get it.  It's tough to pick and choose.  I agree with having the B-list and when those from your family cannot make it, you can invite them.  If your friends are in town or close to town--and in Texas close to Dallas IMO includes anyplace within 5 hours (San Antonio, Houston, etc..)--they could be here on short notice.  Probably would not even know that they were not on the original invite list.

SBSmith0219

Texas Aggie- I am exactly the same way! There would be no way for us to ever have a small wedding, because just my family alone is pushing 50+ people. Then adding on top of that the close friends of family for myself and my parents we are at about 100 just for my side. His list consisted of about 15 people, most of that was family that we were told from the beginning would not be able to come. We just decided that we would invite the people that we really wanted to invite, and once we started to get some of the rsvps and regrets back we saw we could send out some more invitations. The main thing is that it is YOUR day with you soon to be hubby, so if there is someone you really want there, but feel you have to sacrifice their invite to send to someone else, then just have a serious talk with your parents about it. I am sure that if you tell them how you feel then they are going to understand and have no problems with you inviting a few more people. That is what I had to do, now we are all happy with the list of people and we did not have to sacrifice what we wanted.

janiceholt20

Ya I completely understand. We have about 50 people in my close family alone. Then add in extended family & that comes out to at least 100 if not more. Then FI has a large family as well. We have about 300 invited. And know of at least 100 that wont be able to make it. Theres no way we could ever have a small wedding. At this time FI is wishing he would have went with my origanal suggestion of eloping & having a big party afterwards.

TexanTreasure08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_love-extended-family-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:d0ccfecd-a301-4104-aa5d-293f2d384f60Post:c296799f-fe4d-4622-b472-1f6359696960">Re: I love my extended family, but....</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I get it.  It's tough to pick and choose.  I agree with having the B-list and when those from your family cannot make it, you can invite them.  If your friends are in town or close to town--and in Texas close to Dallas IMO includes anyplace within 5 hours (San Antonio, Houston, etc..)--they could be here on short notice.  Probably would not even know that they were not on the original invite list.
Posted by maglinpa[/QUOTE]

Except they always do eventually find out, one way or another.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-frown.gif" border="0" alt="Frown" title="Frown" />