Possible Stolen Cards

Jay+Marissa

I just finished all of my thank you notes and noticed that we didn't get gifts from a few guests. I certainly didn't expect everyone to bring one, but there were about 5 people that it seemed REALLY uncharacteristic of. They were also the type of people to give a card. One was a neighbor who knows our family and me very well and is extremely ettiquette concious.

Now my mom and I are now wondering if some cards were stolen from the card box. I trust all of our vendors except the caterer (whom we are still having issues with--more on that later) who hired high school kids who had pretty much full access to the card box all night with very little supervision.

I don't know what to do--I don't want to ask those people if they gave a gift, but I don't want them to not get thanked either. Should I just send them a note thanking them for their presence at the wedding?

I'll be so pissed if we do find out they did give us something and it was stolen by the caterer's staff. There is no way on earth the photographer, DJ, hall staff, or videographer would have.

I'm also pissed at the people who backed out of the reception at the last minute--as in told me as they were congratulating us after the wedding mass--because they didn't realize the reception was not immediately afterwards and they had another wedding to attend that night. That's what the RECEPTION CARD was for people! No gift from them either...how nice to let us pay for empty spaces. It was very nice of them to attend the ceremony, though.

Terriniski

I'm not sure if this is the right suggestion, but I can tell you how it worked for us.  I had the same situation with some people (like my favorite aunt and uncle).  I didn't say anything to anyone but DH about it because I didn't want to sound gift-grabby.  After a while, it all came out in the open (aunt asked mom, mom asked me, etc.)... Turns out my aunt thought my uncle had gotten us a gift, he thought she had gotten the gift.  So they apologized and got us something at Christmas, and we sent a thank you then.

Another example - We hadn't received something from one of my best friends.  I thought it might be because the plane flight was expensive, so again, I didn't say anything.  It turns out she had gotten us a subscription to Bon Apetit, but we didn't know about it because they didn't send us anything in the mail letting us know the source of the subscription and we had also sent in for a free subscription that came with some cookbooks we bought (so we thought the subscription was of our own doing).  She mentioned something about renewing our subscription, and we sorted the whole thing out.  I just apologized for not knowing and therefore not sending a proper thank you card, and she said she felt embarrassed that I thought for a year that she hadn't gotten us a gift.  No harm done.

Obviously, there are situations where that information wouldn't come out, so it may not be the best approach, but it worked out ok for us in those cases.  In another case we only received part of a gift because of some ordering mix up.  When we sent a thank you that only mentioned part of the gift, the sender checked to make sure we got it all and sorted things out with the store to send us the other part.  This could backfire, but you could send them a note thanking them for attending your wedding and sharing in your special day.  Knowing that your sending out notes might make them more inclined to check to make sure you received a card/gift if one were left or sent.

SoonToBeMrsHoz

That sucks.
Did anyone of these people give you any shower gifts or anything like that?
If you are close to them, the next time you talk to them you can just drop the in the conversation that you think some of the gifts got "lost" and you want to make sure you thank everyone that gave you something and just see how they react.
Most people who actually spent time and money to purchase a gift would be apt to say , "oh yeah? well did you get my gift xyz that I got you?"


maybe???

Jay+Marissa

One got us a shower gift, the rest didn't

Oddly enough, none of my bridesmaids got us anything (4 were sisters, 2 were friends--4 of them spent money on my shower, though), though all the groomsmen did. And really thoughtful stuff--from college dudes! Blew my mind.

Donnaaries

This happened with 1 guest at our wedding.  She hadn't attended any showers either.  I just wrote her a thank you note saying how much we appreciated her attending the wedding, that way, if she did get us a card/gift, hopefully she'll realize I didn't mention it in the thank you and call me to check on the situation.

No call so far though.  Although she is the type that really swears off material things, so maybe gifting isn't her style.

llc2011

That's a tough situation, but I think the suggestions so far have been good.  When I've sent gifts (through the BB&B website), I was worried about the couple getting it until the thank you card.  If they had only mentioned my presence at the wedding then I would be one to speak up and ask if they received my gift.

bridgetlb

i like the idea of mentioning that some of the presents got 'lost' and see what they say. or have someone else in your family talk about it around those people.

Terriniski

Another suggestion might be to post something on facebook, as lame as that sounds.  (And as ineffective as it would be if most of these people do not use facebook.)  We got one gift in the mail without any clue who bought it, so we did a shout-out on facebook and found out who sent it so we could send a proper thank you.

prlmrg08

hey... will you email me about the caterer situation? prlmrg08@gmail.com

Thanks

Jay&Marissa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_possible-stolen-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:d3e2bf39-c389-4574-b03b-40b7f2a084b3Post:7bb1ad56-1dc0-4896-8a25-888ebaab7b9f">Re: Possible Stolen Cards</a>:
[QUOTE]hey... will you email me about the caterer situation? prlmrg08@gmail.com Thanks :)
Posted by prlmrg08[/QUOTE]


Just did! If you know anything, that would be very helpful! We still don't know what to think.