Churches and Venues

JerricaC3

Hey all!!

I've just started planning for my May 2012 wedding.  I was wondering if anyone knew of pretty Christian or Catholic churches that don't mind outside members using the church (Catholic bride/ Protestant groom) or pretty outdoor venues that allow outside catering with room for a large reception somewhat close to the Dallas/ Ft. Worth area.
I am Czech, so the reception needs to have plenty of room for dancing!!:)

Thank you so much!!

Jay+Marissa

Well, getting married in the Catholic Church requires a whole lot more than extra permission to use a space. For the most part, you must get married in the Catholic Parish you are a member of (though I believe Christ the King in Dallas lets outside members? Julie and Emi chime in...)

If you want to get married and have a Catholic mass or ceremony, you need to complete premarital counseling (Engaged Encounter, ususally an NFP class, and the FOCCUS test, plus you have to gather up documents)--if you want to go this route, I'd make an appointment with the deacon at your parish now.

To be honest, before choosing a venue, I'd decide whether you want to get married in the Church or go the non-denominational (or your husband's denomination) route first. It really is more important than the venue. If you choose not to get married in the Church, there are later ramifications if you plan to raise your children in the Church. Convalidation of a non-Catholic marriage is something I'd avoid if you can, and want to raise your kids Catholic (and be an active Catholic yourself). Also, marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacrament, not just a ceremony, making it even more important.

Be aware if you choose to get married in the Church, you cannot have an outdoor ceremony--it must take place inside a Catholic Church.

Head over to the Catholic board if you have more questions--those girls are really good at giving you the correct 411 on a Catholic wedding in all situations.

Sorry for the Catholic wedding lecture--I've just seen lots of brides not realize what they are getting into and getting upset/offended  at some of the stuff they come up against. The Catholic Church doesn't treat marriage as a "right" you are automatically entitled too--they want to make sure you know what you are getting into, and you realize what being a married Catholic means. I think it is important to know what you are getting into and realize the importance of it from the get go--and please don't let this post discourage you from pursuing a Catholic marriage at all!

 My best advice is to not treat a parish like a venue--most will get very upset at that and you will run into rude people. Explain your situation and don't be demanding, and you'll get all the help you need! Good luck!

As for reception venues, I'd urge you to check out the McKinney Cotton Mill--not outdoor, but it is beautiful and has outdoor areas. What is your budget?

juliebug1997

Christ the King only asks that you join the parish.  It doesn't cost anything and it's a very nice church.  Our second favorite church was St. Thomas, where Emi got married.  CTK will not allow you to use their hall for a reception so you'll need to find a place for a reception.  We went to a wedding there while we were in the planning process and their reception was at the Crescent. 

You say you need lots of room for dancing so you may need to consider hotels for your reception. 

I would second Marissa's advice.  You have to be willing to jump through the hoops if you want to be married in the Church.  While we were a little put off by the Engaged Encounter weekend, it wasn't a deal breaker for us.  In the end, I can honestly say that I was glad we went through the process.  The people at CTK were very nice to us and we had a beautiful marriage ceremony.

Jay+Marissa

Yeah, I have to say Engaged Encounter wasn't spectacular. Sometimes they let you do "mentoring" with an already married couple and i've heard good things about that. We just didn't have the time since we were out of state.

bridgetlb

we did pre-cana last weekend (not the engaged encounter weekend) and it was awesome! my fiance is not catholic and they were really good at talioring the content to both catholics and explaining things well to non-catholics.
nfp classes as far as i know is optional in every parish, as well as the focus test. you will have to see the priest at least 6 months before the wedding, so you do have time, but some parishes require that you sign up to be a memeber at least one year before. St. ann's in coppell is absolutely beautiful, especially the courtyard. their requirements are a little stricter and the dates fill up WAY in advance. there is not an onsite place to have a reception, but the local country clubs in that area is where most of my friends who had their weddings at st. ann's had their reception. what area do you live in? you might want to start their and then branch out.

juliebug1997

CTK requires the FOCUS test as does every parish in the Metroplex.  That was my understanding.  It's not like it's a big deal--Bill and I basically did the same things for eHarmony when we signed up.  We did pre-cana and Engaged Encounter I believe and we had a very high match on the FOCUS test.  You just have to decide if it's worth it for you.  I think the FW/Tarrant Parish allows for the mentoring but that was not an option for us.  Lastly, I don't think doing pre-marriage stuff is optional.  If we hadn't had as high a match on the FOCUS, then the pre-cana guy at CTK would have recommended some counseling.  Also, if I remember correctly, you have to be willing to say you are going to raise your children Catholic or at least consider it. 

One more thing:  in most Catholic Churches, they have designated start times for weddings.  At CTK it was 2 PM and 7 PM.  At St. Thomas, it was 10 AM, 2 PM, and like 6:30 or something.  They won't change it for you because they need to have time to prepare the church for Saturday evening mass.   

prlmrg08

Marty Leanord Chapel in Fort Worth is non-denom

What is your budget for reception venue... and how many guests will attend?

Jeff and Deepthi

I'm part of a Catholic church in Garland but we are getting married in Arlington/FW area. I'm having a huge issue with this as well. I'll give you the ones I found. St. Maria Goretti in Arlington, St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Keller, St. Peter's in Fort Worth all allow you to just rent the church and not become a member. St. Andrew's in Fort Worth you don't have to be a member too long to be able to use the church.
Catholic churches do get really complicated when you are trying to do something like this. If you are part a church in the Dallas diocese and want a church in Fort Worth Diocese you'll need a letter allow it. Like the other ladies said you will have to do some kind of pre-canal sessions. They aren't too bad just be honest and work out what ever you need to there.

The venues depends on size and a million other factors. Hope that helps

stephl3055

I think the NFP and Engaged Encounter really do depend on the church you attend.  But like Julie said, the FOCCUS test is required.  I got married at St. Francis in Frisco and we didn't have NFP classes or the Engaged Encounter.  But we were also priest-less at the time, so I'm sure some things have changed.

Instead we were paired with a couple that had been married for a long time, and they administered the FOCCUS survey to us, discussed the results, and we briefly talked about NFP.  But we didn't have any classes or go into any more detail than that.  I think St. Francis gives you the option to do the Engaged Encounter when one person lives far away and can't make the 6 or 7 smaller meetings with the mentoring couple. 

If you are in good standing with the church and have received all of your sacraments, and your FI has been baptized in some other Christian denomination, then the work really isn't that bad.  You just have to be willing to do it all and understand that it will take some time.  I had never been baptized and had to go through RCIA as well as all the wedding prep stuff, and it really wasn't that bad. 

My husband was a member of a different Catholic church in a neighboring city and we both became members of St. Francis when we got engaged since we knew that we wanted to get married there and attend church there afterwards.  There were no issue becoming members and us having the ceremony there. 

Jay+Marissa

Bridgetlb, did St. Ann's not make you take the FOCCUS or NFP classes? They were required for us, but we started the process 2 years ago.

I actually wouldn't recommend St. Anns--I've heard of a lot of people getting the cold shoulder from them if they aren't members and the fees being huge. It is pretty, but I think they get tired of people seeking them out because of that. Plus, I swear, they have so many members at the marrying age they could fill up on their own!

MissAngel

St. Ann still requires the FOCCUS and NFP, I can guarantee that.  I volunteered at St. Ann's when I lived in Dallas and they have A LOT of weddings there.  During "Wedding Season" they have 3 on Saturdays and some additional weddings on Fridays as well.  It is pretty and you pretty much have to be a member there or the fee is really high.  This has been my home church since high school though (for some 10+ years... gosh that makes me sound old), so I always wanted to get married here.  But they get A LOT of requests so it makes it a litte difficult to get a hold of people there.

JerricaC3

Thank you all so much for your help and advice!! I have my research cut out for me!!
My overall budget has been set at $5,000. I'm starting to get worried about this after seeing the prices of venues. eek!!
I haven't completely pushed getting married in the Church out of my head, but I'm starting to look more into an outdoor ceremony also. We are totally fine with taking the pre-marital courses through the Church because we were planning on doing something like that with VOW anyways. I'm just more concerned with music selections, cost, and we are not sure if we want to raise our kids in the Church yet. But of course this is the route my family pushes...(So any advice on how to deal with that would be appreciated also:))
It is also hard because we are college students in east texas, not in the same town, so we can't go to church together on a regular basis. So, for me, I attend the parish in Terrell during the summer only and a different church while at school.
 Any other advice you have is always appreciated!!:) thank you!

Jay+Marissa

Good luck! You can also get married at your parent's parish--they wont give you any trouble about that.

What it really comes down to is what is important to you--if you are a practicing Catholic, I'd really take it seriously, "Mixed" marriages happen all the time in the Catholic Church--I'd just make sure you do what you need to do to make sure you are in good standing.

A few things you might consider:

4. If a Catholic wants to marry a non-Catholic, how can they assure that the marriage is recognized by the Church?

In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage (see question #3), the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this permission is called a "permission to enter into a mixed marriage." If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called a "dispensation from disparity of cult." Those helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with the permission process.

6. If a Catholic wishes to marry in a place outside the Catholic church, how can he or she be sure that the marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church as valid?

The local bishop can permit a wedding in another church, or in another suitable place, for a sufficient reason. For example, a Catholic seeks to marry a Baptist whose father is the pastor of the local Baptist church. The father wants to officiate at the wedding. In these circumstances, the bishop could permit the couple to marry in the Baptist church. The permission in these instances is called a "dispensation from canonical form."