Previous wedding similarities & wedding keepsakes after divorce

WildMagelet

Two questions!

1.  For those of you who are divorced - what did you do with your wedding keepsakes?  I ask because I'm fairly certain I saw DF & ex-wife's toasting goblets displayed prominently on a bookshelf in her living room last time we were there.  I can see maybe handing them down to SD or SS, but it just struck me as an odd thing to have out on display (they've been divorced longer than they were married, if it matters).  I've never been married, but I can't imagine wanting to look at something every day that reminded me of a relationship that didn't work out (with the exception of kids, of course)

2.  I had decided I wanted goblets instead of flutes for toasting before I found out they used goblets at their wedding.  FI & I are both big into medieval, renaissance, & fantasy themes and it seemed fitting and its something we'd both use again.  Would it be weird for us to use goblets when he did for his previous wedding?  I've tried to stay away from other similarities when possible (its actually not been an issue at this point) and its not like it would be the *same* goblets.

right1thistime

If it fits your personalities, go with it.  As long as he's fine with it, who else matters?  And I doubt anyone will remember what they used.

As far as keepsakes- I have some stuff, like my wedding gown, hat and photos.  Not prominently displayed,however.  Maybe they are a family heirloom?  Either way, she can do what she wants.  Maybe she likes the way they look on the shelf, and doesn't care a whit about where they came from. ~Donna

AngelSong76

I broke, burned, or sold everything.  lol.  No children to pass anything down to and the marriage was short (less than 3 years) so I had no reason to save anything.

ichellemay1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_previous-wedding-similarities-wedding-keepsakes-after-divorce?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:3926316f-dedf-4343-bbd4-d67ce6b596adPost:09222269-a240-4475-8e71-a69b9e0a784e">Previous wedding similarities & wedding keepsakes after divorce</a>:
[QUOTE]Two questions! 1.  For those of you who are divorced - what did you do with your wedding keepsakes?  I ask because I'm fairly certain I saw DF & ex-wife's toasting goblets displayed prominently on a bookshelf in her living room last time we were there.  I can see maybe handing them down to SD or SS, but it just struck me as an odd thing to have out on display (they've been divorced longer than they were married, if it matters).  I've never been married, but I can't imagine wanting to look at something every day that reminded me of a relationship that didn't work out (with the exception of kids, of course) 2.  I had decided I wanted goblets instead of flutes for toasting before I found out they used goblets at their wedding.  FI & I are both big into medieval, renaissance, & fantasy themes and it seemed fitting and its something we'd both use again.  Would it be weird for us to use goblets when he did for his previous wedding?  I've tried to stay away from other similarities when possible (its actually not been an issue at this point) and its not like it would be the *same* goblets.
Posted by flutterbride2b[/QUOTE]

1st-L O V E your sig!

As for things from my first marriage - pretty much everything went away.  I kept a few of the pictures because some of the people in them are no longer with us - grandma, aunt, etc.  Plus there were a few I just looked good in.  LOL!

As far as using the goblets - if that's your thing you should use it.  My BMs wore navy in my 1st wedding and I'm having my MOHs wear it again.  Didn't even occur to me until about 6 mos into planning I was doing that.  I just like navy. 

As far as his ex keeping the stuff - that's her deal.  Seems weird to me, but to each his own.  :)

2dBride

I still have the photos from my first wedding.  NotFroofy checked them out to get an idea of how a Jewish wedding would work.  Plus, they are a record of what loved ones looked like back then, since some of them have died and the rest are all much older.  None of these photos are on our walls (although there is a photo of my ex and me with our two children on the wall).  But I also see no reason to get rid of them.

As far as the goblets go, it is fairly unlikely that any of your guests are going to remember that goblets were at your first wedding.  And even if they did, a lot will be different about this wedding.  It's not like it's going to look like a replay of the first wedding.

soon to be mrs pham

i say do goblets as pp have said im not sure anyone will notice. the only thing i have from first wedding is two photos. a before and during wedding shots. these were kept to remind me how important it is to think choices through clearly and rationally. (if you sawhow happy i was in the first one and then my ex husbands face in the wedding photo and how miserable i was in that photo youd understand what i mean...) however her goblets are probably just something that she never took down. ithink that divorce is probably just as  hard on everyone envolved even if the person a)wants the divorce or b) is the reason for it.... maybe she just didnt have the heart... or maybe for the childrens sake (you said there was kids?) or something like that but honestly the more you think of it the more you will drive yourself insane. just like a certain item in my fiances closet that belongs to an ex girlfriend that he says he means to return but never has. 

Scarlet Starlet 31

The only thing that I retained from my first wedding is actually from my bridal shower, it's a book of marriage advice that friends and family had written for me.
I figured that even though the advice was intended for my ex and I, it's still valid advice and would apply to any marriage.  I kept it more because it's from my friends and family than from my old marriage.

I do think it's a little weird that she still has their toasting flutes on display!

I don't see any reason you can't use the goblets for your wedding. I really doubt any of your guests would see your goblets and go "ugh didn't he do that at his first wedding?".
I wouldn't sweat it!  Go for it!!

handfast4me

Use the goblets you love.  No one will ever know.  I mean really, have you ever thought to yourself when attending a wedding "wow, Suzy and Steve used those and Jack and Jill used them too!"   Naw.   DH and I are into my Scottish heritage, and we're Pagan, so we're in Kilt and 18th century dress a LOT.  Not exactly renaissance, but still. . .   Anyway, try St. Justin's for pewter goblets.  We used those for our cakes and ale ceremony in our wedding.