Father/Bride & Mother/Groom Dance

beckydavis

My father passed away about 5 years ago, so I have no father to dance with at my reception. My FMIL is traditional and will probably want to have a special dance with her only son.  Would it be awkward to have them dance without my dancing with someone?  I'm not sure what to do. 

Background: This is my second marriage (my fiance's first) and was able to dance with my dad at my first wedding.  My younger brother (age 32) will be in the wedding party.  And, I have a 12 year old son who will be walking with me down the aisle, but I am QUITE certain he will refuse to dance with me.  He is extremely shy.  Plus, you know how pre-teens and teens are embarrassed of their parents.  I just can't force him to do something for my wedding that he truly will hate - I want him to enjoy the day, too. I'm afraid that if I dance with anyone in place of my dad for a special dance, I will cry my eyes out. 

Any thoughts/advice?

Sue-n-Kevin

Welcome Beckydavis! I'm sure you'll get other wise posts.

This is my first marriage, fiance's 3rd. But it's his first formal one, because his prior 2 occurred while he was in the Air Force, and were very small.

My dad HATES the spotlight as well. We plan at this time having my fiance dance with his Mom to "Memories" by Elvis Presley. If my Dad's shyness thaws a bit, I'll dance with him. If not, I'll dance with my 23 y/o son, or alternate with him & my daughter (if she's not weirded out). 

You can't replace your Dad. If dancing with your brother doesn't feel right, then just sit it out. Is your Mom still around? I know it's weird, but you could dance with her and make it a "Mom's Dance". You'll both be having the same emotions at that time since your Dad won't be there. 

Good luck. 

melissamc2

There is nothing wrong with having only one "family" dance.  A lot of people do it.  In fact, a lot of us skip all of the "traditional" dances other than that first dance and skipping that is becoming more and more common, as well.  One reason is because it's actually a little awkward and boring for people to sit through a dance.  After the first 30 seconds, it ceases to be "nice" and just becomes boring - so lots are opting to just dance the slow ones while others are, as well.

This is my third marriage, my fiance's first.  He's the youngest in his family, but everyone is perfectly ok with skipping a spotlight type deal for a dance.  Your fiance and his Mother COULD dance during ANY slow song and that way your lack of Father/Daughter dance doesn't factor in at all.   My Father is also deceased, so I understand the idea of people who aren't necessarily close to you doing the "but what about YOUR Dad" thing.


I hope you can all come to a conclusion that makes everyone happy and comfortable!  Good luck and congratulations!

Britt1406

I think it's fine to just have the mother/groom dance.

arv266

Hi!  Welcome and Congratulations!  I also think it is perfectly fine to just have the Mother/Son dance, and its also fine not to have one at all.  We are only planning on having our first dance together, and not doing any other "traditional" dances.  My FI mother passed away recently and to be brutalllllly honest, I truly feel too old to have that Father/Daughter dance.   I had a wondeful moment with my dad at my first wedding, and I treasure it.  But fastforward 20 years and here I am, the mother of two, with my own family.  I am not leaving my parents home to start my new life, but adding a husband to the home I have with my children.  For me its a completley different vibe.  My FI feels that I should, but its just not me, and I dont want to just do it for the sake of it.  I plan on having a special dance with my son (he's 10 and actually enjoys practicing his moves) and then asking my Dad to dance.     Point is... find the path that works for the two of you.  You don't have to do anything for the point of it being "tradition", I think you only need to be genuine.

AdelphiTN

We are in the same boat - his mom would love a dance, my dad is no longer with us.  Plus those spotlight dances really are boring!

We have a specific song picked, but it's not a spotlight dance. Whenever that song plays, FI will ask his mother to dance, amongst whoever else is dancing. She gets a special song, they get the the dance, no one has to sit on the sideline. I haven't decided yet who i will dance with - hoping there's a hot waiter there. KIDDING!