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Second Weddings

The time has come, oh my!

Well it is official. My townhome sold and the closing is tomorrow. So ladies that means I will be officially moving in with my FI and his daughter tonight. Yes tonight! OMG!

I guess I should be really happy that it sold and now I will know where I will be when our wedding date gets here (Nov 20) . But... I am scared and stressed to the max instead.

Any thoughts? Is this normal? I know change is difficult and I do not take to change easily but truthfully I am in a sweat.

Re: The time has come, oh my!

  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    First, take a deep breath and release... It's normal to be worried about sharing your life and moving in with your FI. It's normal to be a little worried about how or if it will change things and how you will build a relationship with his daughter. 

    Interestingly enough it will all be fine and a lot of your anxiety will be erased when you exhaustedly fall into bed with the man you love and realize that this is the beginning of your new life together.

    Change it tough, but you can do it.  (Congratulations on selling your townhouse!)

    I moved in with my FI before we were engaged. It was almost a 1000 mile move and I needed a lot of reassurance that he understood this wasn't like we're 19 and playing house. He was great and would listen any time I would get stressed.  His daughter was on an exchange program and came home early, so we only had two months of just us then she was here and well a year later we're one small family. (His xW lives across the country and there isn't any visitation so we have the daughter full on full time).  Any way the point is I'm the happiest I have ever been even with the challenges of being a blended family. 

    If you need to vent I'm here...
  • edited December 2011
    Congratulations!!!!!

    My only advice to you is to accept that this is a huge change for you, and allow yourself that initial stage of newness.  This is a new experience for you, and with it a flood gate of new emotions are going to come in.  Instead of focusing on the things that feel "wierd" to you, focus on what you love about it.

    I was a BASKET case when my FI, myself and my kids moved into our new place.  Did I mention I was a basket case?  I was hyperventilating in a closet.  For me, it was sheer panic -- the initial though was, what if I made a mistake in this?  Then that quickly became the sense of, I liked my things the way the were, I am not sure if I can live with another adult after all these years. 

    What pulled me out of the insanity was the very thought of waking up, and cozying next to my FI.  For the rest of my life.  Sure we hit some bumps on where and how we leave our things, but we quickly fell into a groove and respected that we have different ways of doing things.

    If you havent done this already, stop by a liqour store and get yourself a bottle of champagne and start your move with a mini-bration!

    Best of luck to you!  Tell us how its working out!
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    First, congratulations on selling your house!!  That is no easy feat in this economy/real estate market.  You get to start your married life with one mortgage instead of two.  Yay!!

    Next, yes ... it's absolutely normal to be stressed and scared.  Selling a home is one of the most stressful life events we go through.  Getting married is one of the most stressful life events as well.  Plus, you're immediately combining/blending families, lifestyles, etc.  It would not be normal if you were not stressed.

    I agree with Angie.  Take some deep breaths.  Breathe and relax.  You're a step ahead of the game, already knowing your difficulty with change.  All will be well.  Keep the faith!
  • edited December 2011

    Thank you so much for your replys. I knew you girls would be helpful and you did not disappoint lol. I will take all your suggestions and just go with it. Hopefully in a couple of days I will feel somewhat normal again.

    I was so happy 3 1/2 weeks ago when I finally got an offer on my townhome and accepted, but when my realtor called me with the closing date I just kinda freaked.


    I think the hardest part is because we will have his 23yr old daughter living with us as well and I am just so not used to living with one person let alone a grown child since my daughters moved out 5 years ago. It's just been me and my bunny since then. And we did alright!! 

    Thanks again everyone and I will keep you informed on my "tranformation" into a family living situation again.

  • BrooklclarkBrooklclark member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    it seems like your doing ok with things... when we started talking about moving in together everything was great. it wasn't until he started moving his stuff in and i had to make room for things that i started to freak out a little bit. my house was exactly the way i set it up i liked it when it was just me. granted we don't have children but it took little adjusting and i was worried at one point or another that i was making a mistake. in the end it is wonderful my house is now a home and finally complete. good luck with everything. i know it seems final but that's what marriage should be. tell us how everything goes.
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    MrsB - I moved in with H & his then 20 year old son 3 years ago.  I'd been living on my own for 4 years prior & I was done with teenaged boy/young adult behavior on a daily basis so it was a little (and still is) disconcerting to be going through it again.  I still walk a fine line :(

    Hopefully, your situation will be smoother.
  • edited December 2011
    Oh Marrin I hope so too!
  • vmmomvmmom member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I totally know how you feel. My FI moved in with me when his house sold last spring.  Mine was already full and he moved a 3 bedroom house full of stuff in.  We are still gradually selling or giving things away.  His son and my oldest are already out of the nest and we are just waiting for my youngest, 16, to finish high school - then we are going to get a place that is "ours" together.  It is hard because I still have to remind him "my" house is his home too.

    Good luck and congrats.
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