Moms and Maids

not sure what to do

so my fsil and my fmil and ffil got into a huge fight and are no longer talking to each other,,, i really want to say that this is going to pass but we are all sure that this is going to go on for awhile... my fsil in suppose to be one of my bridesmaid but now that this has happened im not sure if i am suppose to ask some else or wait and see if she decides to go ahead and still be in the wedding... i want ask but im not sure if i should considering what has happened im really not sure what to do....any advice????






Re: not sure what to do

  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You should never replace a member of your bridal party anyway.  There is nothing to do but wait and see what happens.
    Married 10/2/10
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Don't get into the middle of a mother/daughter or mother/DIL fight. Let them work it out on their own.
    The fight should not have anything to do with her being your BM.
                       
  • sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't do anything unless she comes up to you and says something about not wanting to be in the wedding. Her argument with her parents has nothing to do with her being in the wedding ( I am assuming ) . If you think your future inlaws will cause a scene at your wedding then you should  slowly hint about not wanting issues at your wedding and all. Personal I wouldn't stress about it.
    Anniversary
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Keep things as they are and let them work it out.  This fight is between them  so I would stay as far away from this as possible.
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Not seeing how a fight with her parents affects your wedding.
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • Catwoman708Catwoman708 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You could just tell her you understand how difficult mother-daughter relationships are, and that you hope they work it out.  Then continue on with the wedding planning, and don't talk about FMIL with FSIL, and vice versa. 

    Don't get involved in their drama. If she wants to drop out of the wedding surely she will tell you?  If she does, there is nothing you can do but tell her you are disappointed, and will miss having her in the wedding, but you understand her dillemma.
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_not-sure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:018369d3-c3a6-426f-bb76-067c0fbbcab8Post:62a750be-4126-41d2-9ee9-74358da16fb3">not sure what to do</a>:
    [QUOTE]so my fsil and my fmil and ffil got into a huge fight and are no longer talking to each other,,, i really want to say that this is going to pass but we are all sure that this is going to go on for awhile... my fsil in suppose to be one of my bridesmaid but now that this has happened im not sure if i am suppose to ask some else or wait and see if she decides to go ahead and still be in the wedding... i want ask but im not sure if i should considering what has happened im really not sure what to do....any advice????
    Posted by sarablejwas[/QUOTE]
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Stay out of it.  The worst thing you can do, as a FDIL, is to get in the middle of a family fight.

    A family that will behave like this with their daughter is not going to take what they will undoubtedly decide is "meddling" from a FUTURE DIL well at all.

    Stay above it all.  It doesn't impact your wedding day at all.  If your FSIL is there, she's there.  If she's not, it won't change the fact that at the end of the ceremony, you're still married.

    You're not considering finding an understudy for her are you?  Because there's not a single, solitary reason why you need a back up BM.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    Like Trix said...step AWAY from the In-Law drama.  Seriously, smile sweetly and keep your mouth closed.  I'm sure that your life has enough drama without getting involved in theirs  Sealed  There is no way it will go well for you if you do.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Inserting yourself into this situation is only going to make things worse.  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • lharri12lharri12 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    1 - Why would this fight affect whether she will be a BM?
    2 - Don't insert yourself into the fight.
    3 - FFS, don't replace her.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I also have to say, it comes across as very insensitive that she's had a horrible falling out with her parents and all you can think about is how this might impact your wedding.  This has nothing to do with you, so don't make it about you.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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