Pregnant Maid

sarahp903

I just discovered that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. How do I handle this? She is from out of town and money is already an issue. 

bethsmiles

You don't need to handle anything. Just be happy for her.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:02a72b44-f965-48b0-9abb-db4e1dca3360Post:72a44e52-607b-4450-9281-438214ad1f13">Pregnant Maid</a>:
[QUOTE]I just discovered that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. How do I handle this? She is from out of town and money is already an issue. 
Posted by sarahp903[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm not sure what you mean because there's nothing for you to handle. Do you have a specific question?

</div>

McKenna2012

Do you mean she needs a new dress?

GoodLuckBear14

What exactly is the problem because I'm not seeing one.  If your wedding becomes something she can't afford, she will tell you.  Don't bring it up to her.

kris2131

Congratulate her and then ask if there is anything she might need during the ceremony. What is there to handle? If money is an issue, does that mean she might need a new dress? If it's in your budget and she needs a new dress, maybe offer to cover some of the cost.

trix1223

I'm not sure what you have to handle.  She's the pregnant one.

But a hearty good luck to you.

indiana108

My daughter is in a similar situation.  Her MOH will be 8 mos. pregnant at the wedding(also out of town). my daughter let her know she would understand if she wouldn't be able to be in the wedding.  That's about all you could do. That way your BM won't feel bad, if she can't afford to come or if she has any complications with her pregnancy that wouldn't allow her to travel.  Good luck!  

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:02a72b44-f965-48b0-9abb-db4e1dca3360Post:207d35ea-3125-4207-a629-25c10f0eb515">Re: Pregnant Maid</a>:
[QUOTE]My daughter is in a similar situation.  Her MOH will be 8 mos. pregnant at the wedding(also out of town). my daughter let her know she would understand if she wouldn't be able to be in the wedding.  That's about all you could do. That way your BM won't feel bad, if she can't afford to come or if she has any complications with her pregnancy that wouldn't allow her to travel.  Good luck!  
Posted by indiana108[/QUOTE]

<div>No. Please don't do this, because it comes across as "I don't want you in the wedding anymore" even if that's not the case.</div>

ekelly83

One of my BM was pregnant. She got the same dress as the other girls. When we went to DB to pick them out, they gave her a 'baby bump' to wear when trying the dresses on. She was 7 months on the day of my wedding and looked super cute!

Oh! And she is also from about 4 hours away from me, she drove out here, stayed in my hotel room the night before. The only thing she did different is left right after dinner, bouquet toss, and garter (when the important things were done). She was tired, we had been up and going all day. I told her I loved her and cant wait for the baby shower...

Whats your question?

indiana108

Usually a BM or MOH is a very close friend.  She and the bride certainly could be honest with each other.  No one is trying to "parent" the pregnant woman.  How do you get that?  Open and honest communication between two adult women is never a bad thing.  Actually my daughter's MOH was grateful she gave her the option and both are hoping (and anticipating) that the MOH will be able to make the trip and be at the bride's side on her big day!

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:02a72b44-f965-48b0-9abb-db4e1dca3360Post:e2d26a13-588d-4d91-9db4-10ec995610e4">Re: Pregnant Maid</a>:
[QUOTE]Usually a BM or MOH is a very close friend.  She and the bride certainly could be honest with each other.  No one is trying to "parent" the pregnant woman.  How do you get that?  Open and honest communication between two adult women is never a bad thing.  Actually my daughter's MOH was grateful she gave her the option and both are hoping (and anticipating) that the MOH will be able to make the trip and be at the bride's side on her big day!
Posted by indiana108[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, it is good to have good communication but you should never ask someone (specially a pregnant woman) if they still want to be a BM. Like PP already said, even if people are good friends the pregnant friend (with a lot of changes occurring to her) could misinterpret what was being said and start to think "why is my friend giving me an out? does she really want me to be a BM?" That is why we do not recommend asking someone if they still want to be a BM. </div><div>
</div><div>A better way is when communicating with the pregnant BM is telling her how excited you are and that you will be accommodating to whatever she may need be it a maturinty dress, a chair to sit in at the ceremony, etc, so that she feels as comfortable as possible. No "out" should be need to be mentioned, if the two friends keep one another updated with how the pregnancy is going all should be well. If something occurs where the BM wouldn't make it, she would be the one to inform the Bride. </div>

theluckiest555

One of my BMs is pregnant too. She will b 7 months at the wedding. Were hoping that the dress will still fit her since its flowy but if not she can wear a dress the same color or whatever. Im also worried about the wedding being a financial burden for her, but she hasn't said anything so  I havent either. Im happy for her. Im just doing my best to make sure shes comfortable during the ceremony.

KateG528

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:02a72b44-f965-48b0-9abb-db4e1dca3360Post:72a44e52-607b-4450-9281-438214ad1f13">Pregnant Maid</a>:
[QUOTE]I just discovered that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. How do I handle this? She is from out of town and money is already an issue. 
Posted by sarahp903[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Handle what exactly? I would start with a "Congrats!!!" and tell her how happy you are for her.  Other than that offer to help her find a maternity dress if hers wont fit or have hers let out a little to fit better. If money is an issue she will tell you. If she comes to you to tell you money is an issue at that time you can address that you understand if she cant make it or offer to help her, but dont give her an out unless she asks for one.  </div><div>
</div><div>As for any other handling, I'm not sure what you are asking, could you elaborate? </div>

LoveMuffins

I'm assuming by "handle" you mean how do you help her out, esp since (I'm again assuming) is already having financial problems. If you can offer to help her pay for her dress, or allow her to find a cheaper dress in the same color as your other BMs, that would probably help her. Another help might be asking her if she wants a chair during the ceremony to sit in, so that she doesn't have to stand the whole time. Other than that, just be excited for her and be there for her whenever she has a little thing that might help her out along the way.

jilld82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-maid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:02a72b44-f965-48b0-9abb-db4e1dca3360Post:207d35ea-3125-4207-a629-25c10f0eb515">Re: Pregnant Maid</a>:
[QUOTE]My daughter is in a similar situation.  Her MOH will be 8 mos. pregnant at the wedding(also out of town). my daughter let her know she would understand if she wouldn't be able to be in the wedding.  That's about all you could do. That way your BM won't feel bad, if she can't afford to come or if she has any complications with her pregnancy that wouldn't allow her to travel.  Good luck!  
Posted by indiana108[/QUOTE]

Wrong!

Heather Wood

I dont get why brides always freak about pregnant bms??? Women work until they have babies they can certainly wear a dress and show up to your wedding. There are aways so many posts about my pregger Bm or MOH...who cares, be excited for them! 

shopgrl3177

First you tell your friend congratulations, then you shriek with excitement for her, especially if it's her first baby.  You ask her what you can do to help, buy her a small baby gift (if money allows for it) and gush about what an exciting year you'll both be having.  That's how I handled it when one of my BMs told me she was pregnant and due 5 weeks before my wedding date. 

If she's your BM she must be a close friend or relative so you should be as excited for her good news and she should be for yours.  There can never be too much happiness in the world!

mjbritesprite

My sister is my MOH and she will be two weeks away from her due date at my wedding. So far, she has not needed any special accomodations but she would certainly tell me if she did. I would not worry about it.