Moms and Maids

Can I wear black to my daughters wedding?

My daughters wedding colors are black, white and pink. She wants me to wear a black dress. I am really nervous that this is not really appropriate for a wedding (in my generation black is for funerals). What should I do? Any suggestions of other colors that may be more appropriate?

Re: Can I wear black to my daughters wedding?

  • edited December 2011
    I dont see a problem with it. My mom is wearing a black cocktail dress with a pink jacket to go over it.

    If you'd rather wear another color I say go for it. You should wear whatever you feel best in.
    Photobucket
  • edited December 2011

    The no black for weddings thing has totally fallen by the wayside. I don't think it is a bad thing at all. My grandma is wearing black. Most people think black=formal, not funeral. But if you want to wear another color, go for it. Just don't wear white or ivory... :)

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic *This is not legal advice*
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    There's a big difference between a glitzy, black cocktail dress and a plain black suit or dress that you might wear to a funeral. Black seems to be a popular color for evening weddings around here, these days. It looks so elegant. But if this makes you feel uncomfortable, you should speak up. The MOB and MOG are not part of the wedding party and should get to choose whatever color and style of dress that they like.

    I have the opposite situation. My daughter is requesting that I not wear black. Her FILs are from a culture that still views black as the color for mourning. I wouldn't want them to get the wrong idea, so I will not be wearing black.
                       
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    @dinnermint- your pup is adorable.
                       
  • AiobheannAiobheann member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Black is still for funerals. I went to a black&white wedding once and moms wore black too. I think if its one of the wedding colors you are fine to wear black, but if black isn't a wedding color its disrespectful to wear black. But I was raised with all stuff, so I follow the social dress code for functions.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Everyone has their own beliefs and their own tolerance level.  Go with what you are comfortable with.  I'm old fashioned, I admit it.  I would want to go with maybe a black and pink or pink and silver combo.  You do what you feel comfortable doing!  You could wear a really dark purple or a silvery charcoal.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • utegogglesutegoggles member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    My mom is wearing black to mine! I love her dress.
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I wore black to two of my DDs' weddings and so did the MIL's - looked wonderful but no one around here holds to the moms not wearing black.  It is very common in our area.

    That being said, do you want to wear black?  I agree that your DD has no business telling you what to wear to her wedding.  If you want to then great!  If you don't then just tell her.
  • edited December 2011
    Black is fine, especially if it's one of her wedding colors.  If it really makes you uncomfortable, pick something else.  But remember, with the right accessories your outfit can look festive and cheerful, perfectly appropriate for a wedding and not a funeral.  
  • edited December 2011
    For most people black is an acceptable color for wedding guests because like PP said it is viewed as a formal color.  

    My advice is for you to wear the dress you want to wear.  You aren't a prop in your daughter's wedding to match with the color sceme.  My mom picked out a very pretty dress with fall colors and I like it because she likes it.  Does it go with my wedding colors? Not at all.  Do I care? No! She's my mom not my centerpiece.  


    image
  • ElinetrouwtElinetrouwt member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agree with PP that she can't dictate what you're wearing. However, if you like a black outfit, than black being a mourning color shouldn't stop you. You could even pick bright pink accessoires (or another color, of course). With a pink scarf, jewelry, bag, etc, no one would mistake you for a funeral guest. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • soozy87soozy87 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My husband's mom wore black to our wedding. I was thinking it would be weird, but it really honestly wasn't. It was fine. Wear it if you want.
    ~May 21,2011~
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    My theory has been if BM's in black BM dresses can look gorgeous, and the guys look incredibly handsome in their black suits, why can't the MOB/MOG look equally stunning in their black outfits? 

    I realize where the tradition came from and I know it is still practiced in some circles/places but I just feel like it one of those traditions that has changed over time.  Most of the time when I go to a funeral I'm not seeing the sea of black clothes that you would have a generation or two ago.

    I think as long as the moms don't show up wearing black veils like they did in past generations then you are ok.
  • dsmmdsmm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The only color that is a no go for weddings now days is white.  I think black is prefectly acceptable and with the right eccessories, can look very elegant.  That being said, some people just don't look good in black.  If you don't think that black is a good color for you, tell your daughter that you don't want to wear it and why.  She most likely will cave because she won't want her pictures to come out bad.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards