Moms and Maids
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No responses from maids

OK- so I have a 4 person bridal party.  My sister is my MOH, FIs sister is a BM, and then my 2 best friends are also my BMs.  The only one in my party who is local is my sister, so that is not the issue.  2 live out of state, the other lives just over an hour away.  Here is my dilemma--

I told my maids that email would be the best way for me to keep them up to date on all things wedding related.  I've really tried to keep them informed on the planning, trying to get their input, especially when it comes to the BM dresses.  I recently sent out 2 emails- one about 3 weeks ago, asking for them to look at a few different sites I linked them to and to give me a few ideas on what dresses they liked.  The other email I sent out at the beginning of last week- I had taken my sister to look at dresses and narrowed down my choices to 3 dresses.  I wanted all of my maids' input before I made a decision.  Only 2of my maids (my sister and one of my best friends) responded to both emails.  I got absolutely NOTHING from the other two!! 

I am just frustrated that I am getting NO responses at all out of the other 2 maids (one of whom is FIs sister).  I kinda feel like they don't really care at all, and maybe said yes just to save face.  Should I just ignore it, and make my decision and continue to send them the update emails even though they are not responding- or should I call them out on it??
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Re: No responses from maids

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    edited December 2011
    OK, you're going to have to ramp it down a bit.  You're wedding is more than 8 months away.  No-one needs to be dress shopping yet.  There may be changes in size and weight for your BM's.

    Please don't stomp your foot and "call them out on it".  And for the love of god don't demote anyone or kick them out of the WP.  It's just going to make you look bad.  My advice would be to let it go for now.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your wedding is 8 months away.  There really isn't a need to buy dresses yet.  So maybe the two who haven't responded yet aren't seeing a big rush to do so.

    Would it be nice if they did?  Sure.  And if they haven't responded, why can't you pick up a phone and speak to them.  "Hey, FSIL, how are you doing?  What's going on at work?  Did you see Toy Story 3 like you said you were planning?  Listen, I also called to say that I sent an email out the other day about BM dresses.  I haven't heard from you, so I hope I didn't screw up your email adress.  Did you get it, or would you like me to resend it?"

    Finally:  Did you ask each girl privately her budget for the wedding?  Because they might be reluctant to respond of the dresses are outside their price range, but to tell you that could be uncomfortable.

    GL

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    rrmeyerrrmeyer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it is unreasonable to be looking and planning on buyig bridesmaid dresses 8 months in advance.  Maybe they are tight on money, but by getting BM's opinions on dresses now gives them time to save money before they need to be purchased.  My wedding is over a year away and my girls and I are already done dress hunting.  No dresses have been purchased yet because I realize that is an unresaonable request, but I have other things going on starting in August that will strictly limit my wedding planning time.  All of my girls understand this and were more than willing to try dresses on so early and she is only asking to see what her girls like!!  I say keep trying because time flies and pretty soon it WILL be time to order!
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Have you tried a phone call? E-mails get lost and some people don't check it regularly. Just call the girls up and say "hey a sent you an e-mail about dresses, could you check it out for me and get back to me?" This really isn't a huge deal. No one will ever be as excited as you are about your wedding and nobodies life revolves around it...its totally possible they are just really busy and haven't had time to think about dresses. So just relax and pick up the phone.


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    TimsGirl10TimsGirl10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for your responses.  I understand my wedding is 8 months away- and I am in no way wanting to PURCHASE dresses now- but I do want to have a dress nailed down.  A bit early for some people, yes- but with school starting in a few weeks, then 2 family (2 of my brothers are getting married within 2 weeks of each other!  Oy vey!!) weddings, the holidays and lots of family birthdays from here til the end of the year is pretty much shot as far as any major wedding planning goes- so, I amtrying to save myself stress and gett things nailed down early. 

    I would in no way even think about kicking someone out of the WP for not responding.  Maybe I expect a little too much- you know, a simple reply to an email saying "Hey, got your email, I'll get back to you soon".  I guess that's a little much.  I've been in contact with FSIL via facebook and text (she rarely answers her calls).  Yes, I discussed budgets with each girl when I asked her to be in the wedding.  I figure, with the holidays coming, etc., the sooner they know what they will need to spend on a dress, the longer they have to put money away or however they are choosing to budget for the wedding.  I know I would want the most time possible to save accordingly.

    Thanks again for the input- I guess I didn't realize ignoring emails was not considered bad manners- maybe I was just raised differently.  *shrug*  Guess its one of those things I'll just have to let go.
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    Catwoman708Catwoman708 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    While communicating electronically through e-mails and texts can be very convenient, sometimes you don't always know if they got the message, if they're busy, and it can be impersonal.  Even if you do get a response, you can't "read" their mood or attitude. 

    The best way to ensure a response, is to keep in touch, and put some effort into the relationship. Like on the phone with an actual conversation. 

    This is partly why I don't understand asking people who live a long distance to be attendants, unless you are close family or very, very good friends. 

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    amyl2585amyl2585 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Not one person in our wedding party lives near us. But those are the people that matter most to us and we want to stand next to us when getting married. I am also getting married in March. We have already picked out BM dresses, but they have not been purchased.
    I would be annoyed if my BM did not respond to e-mails as well, seeing as though you told them thats how you would be getting info to them. If they never check their email they should have said that when you had that conversation. With all that said, I would call them and ask if they got the email and try to get their opinion.
    Good Luck

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    longman801longman801 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Check out unique-weddingdresses.us They have a link to wedding dresses

    and there might be some on there with the look you are going for! I

    spotted a few that I thought might be similar to what you were looking

    for, so they are posted below! Hope this helps and CONGRATS!Source(s):
    www.theweddingstyle.com/bridesmaid-dresses-c-15.html">http://www.theweddingstyle.com/bridesmaid-dresses-c-15.html

    www.theweddingstyle.com/mother-of-the-bride-dresses-c-33.html">http://www.theweddingstyle.com/mother-of-the-bride-dresses-c-33.html

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    edited December 2011
    I don't think its too early to look at dresses.  It took 4 months for mine to come in.  So by the time you pick one, it takes like a month-month and a half for everyone to go try on and order the dress.  If you discussed budget already and 3 dresses you picked are in budget...and they dont respond to which one they like, i would consider their opinion waived.  They had a chance, did not respond, pick a dress.  :)
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    awolfe2awolfe2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think expecting a reply is unreasonable. And I'm totallly with you on the planning ahead. Two of my bridesmaids and I went to look at dresses already, just to sort of check where prices ran and what styles we were drawn to.
    I think giving them a call is a good idea. I'm actually kind of surprised they didn't respond- especially if you're letting them give input. My bridesmaids embraced the chance to pick their own dress.
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    edited December 2011
    Looking at BM dresses 8 months in advance isn't early at all... when we went to look they (David's Bridal) told us to order the BM dresses 5-6 months in advance at the absolute latest, especially if alterations will be needed.

    I also think its weird they haven't responded when you told them that email would be your mode of communication. Maybe call them to make sure it didn't get stuck in their SPAM folders? Or to let them know you would really like to make some decisions in advance, could they please make sure to check their email?

    I really can't blame you for asking if you should confront them, I probably would've done the same thing - this is all stressful enough without communication issues! But the PP's are right, calm down and take some of their advice on asking them if they've gotten the emails and such. Good luck with everything!
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    edited December 2011
    nobody is your "maid"
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    edited December 2011
    Good lord, why is everyone on these boards so qucik to dismiss the bridal party from having any obligations?  This gal is trying to give them input on what they wear so they feel comfortable...a response...an acknowledgement "hey i got your message, I'm hopeing to lose 20 lbs in the next two months....can i get back to you" is not an unreasonable expectation.  These are some of the most important people to the couple...one would hope they would be mildly interested in what's going on, at least what they will be wearing....
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    leilahaustinleilahaustin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_responses-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:09193e2b-e565-4cec-90d6-e86e39ad8919Post:0c342433-e351-40c0-a496-fde38845b1ae">Re: No responses from maids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good lord, why is everyone on these boards so qucik to dismiss the bridal party from having any obligations?  This gal is trying to give them input on what they wear so they feel comfortable...a response...an acknowledgement "hey i got your message, I'm hopeing to lose 20 lbs in the next two months....can i get back to you" is not an unreasonable expectation.  These are some of the most important people to the couple...one would hope they would be mildly interested in what's going on, at least what they will be wearing....
    Posted by fyrefairie[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree. I just sent a link out to my MOH and BM.  I hope they send me a response.  I will def call them though to see if they received it.
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    edited December 2011
    "I told my maids that email would be the best way for me to keep them up to date on all things wedding related.  I've really tried to keep them informed on the planning, trying to get their input, "

    You don't need to update them on "All Things Wedding Related".  You might be overwhelming them by emailing them all this stuff that doesn't apply to them. 

    You don't need to update them on things.   That is for you and your fiance.  Bridal party members do not need to be involved in any planning or tasks.  You don't and shouldn't need to rely on their imput on things either. 

    That is why you have a FI and it is YOUR wedding. so your input on "All things wedding related" is up to you and FI. 

    Leave the bridal party out of it.  It will only confuse them and make them feel overwhelmed with all these emails your sending them
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    edited December 2011
    Hi! I'm a MOH and I'm trying to communicate and plan with 8 bridesmaids...which in and of itself is a nightmare.

    I send very few emails, so that the ones I do send are taken seriously. I don't overload them with information or details on every aspect of the Shower, Wedding, or Bachelorette party. So that would be my first advice, don't send a ton of emails trying to keep them in the loop. Send out select emails with information that is pertenant or that you want advice on.

    Advice part deux: if you want a response put "RESPONSE REQUIRED" in the subject box. I use this in the working world, some people skim an email and don't realize they need to send a response. I was worried it would come off a little bitchy, but ultimately it has helped communication. That way if someone doesn't have the time to look at/think about details they can send an email saying "Sorry busy with a project a work, but I'll get back to you in a couple of days."

    It will save a lot of feelings in the end. 95% of the time this stuff is not personal. I'm sure they love and support you and are happy you asking for input, especially on the stuff that effects them.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with you! who cares if it's 8 months away, they should be grateful you are so on top of things so they can get thier acts together in time for your wedding. My wedding is September 10, 211 but I am deciding on BM dresses & my own gown by the end of this summer so I can know whats in store for me weather wise & so my girls can save up for thier dresses & other things coming along with wedding duties. Just be upfront with them & tell them how you feel. You asked them to be in your wedding because they are important to you, as you should be to them.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_responses-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:09193e2b-e565-4cec-90d6-e86e39ad8919Post:a01c3b19-f794-493f-b7ff-8adaaf71db2b">Re: No responses from maids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi! I'm a MOH and I'm trying to communicate and plan with 8 bridesmaids...which in and of itself is a nightmare. I send very few emails, so that the ones I do send are taken seriously. I don't overload them with information or details on every aspect of the Shower, Wedding, or Bachelorette party. So that would be my first advice, don't send a ton of emails trying to keep them in the loop. Send out select emails with information that is pertenant or that you want advice on. Advice part deux: if you want a response put " RESPONSE REQUIRED " in the subject box. I use this in the working world, some people skim an email and don't realize they need to send a response. I was worried it would come off a little bitchy, but ultimately it has helped communication. That way if someone doesn't have the time to look at/think about details they can send an email saying "Sorry busy with a project a work, but I'll get back to you in a couple of days." It will save a lot of feelings in the end. 95% of the time this stuff is not personal. I'm sure they love and support you and are happy you asking for input, especially on the stuff that effects them.
    Posted by chuntmo[/QUOTE]

    No I don't think their advise and imput should be REQUIRED.  I think the bride in that case needs a wedding planner if she can't make up her own ideas of what she wants to do for the wedding. 
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If I got an email from a bride that said "RESPONSE REQUIRED," I'd conclude that she'd gone off the deep end.  It's not the business world, and treating your friends like your employees is a good way to ensure that they won't want to talk to you anymore after the wedding.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    edited December 2011
    As others said, I think that a phone call would be the best option.  And I also don't think you're figuring things out too early.  I want to pick my dresses by September and I'm not getting married till Oct. 2011.  I dont care if they wait to order them until next March, but I teach and am taking 2 master's classes both semesters.  There's no way that I can gather everyone up in the same weekend once school starts.  So call them and be nice, assume they didn't get the emails or at least were trying to be jerks (b.c I'm sure they weren't!).  Let them know a time when you would like their opinion by and be done with it.  You may not get everyone to agree anyway, so just listen to what they say and try your best to make sure they're happy and you are too.

    And, no the BMs don't have to be involved, but it sure is nice to let them help choose the dresses they'll be wearing.  After all, they will be spending over $100 on them.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_responses-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:09193e2b-e565-4cec-90d6-e86e39ad8919Post:32e49e1c-3b8d-453d-9c02-eab68502d3b6">Re: No responses from maids</a>:
    [QUOTE]As others said, I think that a phone call would be the best option.  And I also don't think you're figuring things out too early.  I want to pick my dresses by September and I'm not getting married till Oct. 2011.  I dont care if they wait to order them until next March, but I teach and am taking 2 master's classes both semesters.  There's no way that I can gather everyone up in the same weekend once school starts.  So call them and be nice, assume they didn't get the emails or at least were trying to be jerks (b.c I'm sure they weren't!).  Let them know a time when you would like their opinion by and be done with it.  You may not get everyone to agree anyway, so just listen to what they say and try your best to make sure they're happy and you are too. And, no the BMs don't have to be involved, but it sure is nice to let them help choose the dresses they'll be wearing.  After all, they will be spending over $100 on them.
    Posted by nlfeguer[/QUOTE]

    They do not have to be all together at the same time to go dress shopping.  It's really unrealistic and if you do try to do that it may be inconvenient for the bridesmaids to all pick a day and time to get together.  It's not fair to put that kind of pressure on them.

    They will never pick a day because chances are, their are no times and dates that all girls will all be able to make at the same time.  Dress shopping will never happen or it will be pushed back many months until you can finally get all the girls together... so therefore it's best to have them go individually.

    Also it is not fair to make them go around your schedule and what works for you because it might not be convenient or work out for them if you want to to "September" because it's the only time that is best for you.  What if the only
    time that is best for them is not until November?  What are you going to do then. 

    You can't just dictate onto them saying that they have to have it done in September when that may not work for them.  It can't be all about you and your schedule without seeing what may work for them.  Going dress shopping over a year away for a wedding is really a bit much. 
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    edited December 2011
    I didn't mean to offend or upset anyone with my post.  I guess I figure that you should do whatever works best for you (AND your bridesmaids).  I am not inconsiderate of my very closest friends feelings b.c I want them to look at dresses with me, nor is it rude of me to get planning done when I'm actually able to do it.  If they're not available, then they're not.  Life goes on...

    For me, what doesn't get done before school and classes start will probably wait till next April over my spring break.  So if it works to do it now(which it does, whether others think it should or shouldn't), I'm doing it, for my sanity.  If that wasn't/isn't what works for you, then don't do it.  
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    edited December 2011

    So what if you fall in love with a certain dress style and it goes discontinued.  What are you going to do then?  You just be at square one again

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    edited December 2011
    This whole site is ridiculous. Please tell me that if your BMs weren't responding to you at all you just wouldn't care? Everyone is so quick to judge on here and doesn't think about how they would react.

    Listen, I think you need to talk to your BMs in person (or on the phone if that isn't possible) ask if you're overloading them with things, etc. I had a BM who at 7 months stopped responding. I put it off and figured she'd come around. Around the 3 month mark, I finally stepped up and talked to her, and found out she just didn't have the money to do it and felt terrible. We both mutually decided it would be best for her not to be in the wedding. I didn't "kick her out" and she didn't "step down" life just happens and sometimes people get in a bad spot and you're not their top prioritiy. I hope this doesn't happen to you... but it's better to find out now than later. Just be honest with them and let you know how you feel. Some people may say they are not "obligated" but the one thing they are supposed to do is support you... not give you more stress. I think everyone would agree with that.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_responses-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:09193e2b-e565-4cec-90d6-e86e39ad8919Post:1c19ff6b-5f1b-466f-92ca-c89a263070be">Re: No responses from maids</a>:
    [QUOTE]This whole site is ridiculous. Please tell me that if your BMs weren't responding to you at all you just wouldn't care? Everyone is so quick to judge on here and doesn't think about how they would react. Listen, I think you need to talk to your BMs in person (or on the phone if that isn't possible) ask if you're overloading them with things, etc. I had a BM who at 7 months stopped responding. I put it off and figured she'd come around. Around the 3 month mark, I finally stepped up and talked to her, and found out she just didn't have the money to do it and felt terrible. We both mutually decided it would be best for her not to be in the wedding. I didn't "kick her out" and she didn't "step down" life just happens and sometimes people get in a bad spot and you're not their top prioritiy. I hope this doesn't happen to you... but it's better to find out now than later. Just be honest with them and let you know how you feel. Some people may say they are not "obligated" but the one thing they are supposed to do is support you... not give you more stress. I think everyone would agree with that.
    Posted by KaserLeigh[/QUOTE]

    That's just horrible that at the 3 month mark you "both mutually decided it would  be best for her not to be in the wedding".  Now tell me, really, how would that be "best"? 

    That is definatley the worst.  She probably decided it was best because your demands and expectations were too high or too time consuming/expensive and she just didn't want to put that amount of time or money into it. 

    All she needed was to buy a dress and that was it.  She didn't need to throw you showers or plan the wedding, or attend any pre-wedding events.  If someone has a busy life, that is fine.  They are still your friend and you should have been understanding.  If she was really a close friend of yours with a busy schedule, you should have kept her in the bridal party and not basically kick her out because she couldn't help plan your wedding for you or whatever else you expected of your bridesmaids.

    Since you thought it was best she step down that is why she probably agreed
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    fontassidyfontassidy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_responses-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:09193e2b-e565-4cec-90d6-e86e39ad8919Post:bf391684-f491-4d43-8d6b-e5ad8874cebc">Re: No responses from maids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No responses from maids : That's just horrible that at the 3 month mark you "both mutually decided it would  be best for her not to be in the wedding".  Now tell me, really, how would that be "best"?  That is definatley the worst.  She probably decided it was best because your demands and expectations were too high or too time consuming/expensive and she just didn't want to put that amount of time or money into it.  All she needed was to buy a dress and that was it.  She didn't need to throw you showers or plan the wedding, or attend any pre-wedding events.  If someone has a busy life, that is fine.  They are still your friend and you should have been understanding.  If she was really a close friend of yours with a busy schedule, you should have kept her in the bridal party and not basically kick her out because she couldn't help plan your wedding for you or whatever else you expected of your bridesmaids. Since you thought it was best she step down that is why she probably agreed
    Posted by PeonyPrincesskdd[/QUOTE]

    Dude. What in the heck is going on in your own world that you feel the need to spam obnoxious amounts of negativity at *everyone's* responses to the OP?? They are trying to relate their personal experiences and give out some practical advice...which would be the point of posting a question or a response on this board.

    Is the bridal party made up of peons whose only aim in life should be to wait on the bride hand and foot? No. Is it common courtesy to keep open and regular communication between bride & bridal party as they plan for the wedding (for their BEST FRIEND's, or SISTER's wedding nonetheless...) Yes. Absolutely.

    Tone down your reactionary freak-outs to everyone's advice. You sound like a nut.
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    edited December 2011

    No one will ever be as excited as you. I totally learned that I had to let alot of things go. I wish there was an emotion reader when it comes to text or email too!!

    I picked my party of really close freinds i have contact with every single day I cant imagine my WP without them. I have several best freinds that I may not talk to them everyday or every week but I still love them, just becuase I didnt pick them in my WP doesnt mean I love them right?

    and thats awsome you are thinking ahead!

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_responses-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:09193e2b-e565-4cec-90d6-e86e39ad8919Post:df2da777-19a8-4fa4-a192-330a2a19f635">Re: No responses from maids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No responses from maids : Dude. What in the heck is going on in your own world that you feel the need to spam obnoxious amounts of negativity at *everyone's* responses to the OP?? They are trying to relate their personal experiences and give out some practical advice...which would be the point of posting a question or a response on this board. Is the bridal party made up of peons whose only aim in life should be to wait on the bride hand and foot? No. Is it common courtesy to keep open and regular communication between bride & bridal party as they plan for the wedding (for their BEST FRIEND's, or SISTER's wedding nonetheless...) Yes. Absolutely. Tone down your reactionary freak-outs to everyone's advice. You sound like a nut.
    Posted by fontassidy[/QUOTE]

    The previous poster has some serious issues if she thinks she is giving practical advice of telling the OP that she had one of her bm's "mutually decide to drop from the wedding".  How is that practical? 

    You don't just decide it's best for your bridemaid to withdraw from the wedding at less than 3 months soley because she couldn't be helping to plan the wedding or participate in wedding related things. Those are things the other bridesmaids could have been helping with. 

    You don't need an army of bridesmaids to plan a shower or stuff envelopes or tie ribbons.   All a bridesmaid needs to do is show up to the wedding in her bm dress and walk down the aisle. 

    All other things are optional, esp if they have a busy life.  If they have a busy life and can't make some shower or bachelorette party (but I'm sure if they had all the time in the world then they would) then the bride should be understanding of her friend and her life. 

    The bride needs to realize that the world does not revolve around her just because she is getting married.  And just because her bridesmaid isn't going above and beyond with the planning doesn't mean the bride should think it is best that she step down. 

    AND NO it is not common courtesy to keep open and regular communication between bride and bridal party as they plan for the wedding!!

    Bridesmaids are not wedding planners and do not need to know all the details of the wedding such as what kind of flowers, what cake flavor, or anything else regarding the wedding planing because it is not their wedding, it is the bride and groom's wedding, therefore bridesmaid have no place with the wedding planning. 

    The wedding planners are the bride and groom only because it is THEIR wedding, and if their parents want to help out they can.  If the bride needs help with wedding planning, she can hire a wedding planner. 

    She needs to leave the bridesmaids out of it because it is not their business.  All the pertains to a bridesmaid is a bridesmaid dress and that is it.  So you are very wrong in thinking the bride should be updated the bridesmaids with all the wedding plans, because it has no relevance on them at all.
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    edited December 2011
    As far as your wedding being 8 months away goes, you are not being unreasonable. My dress shop wants my BM dresses ordered in November but definitely by Christmas for my May wedding to leave time for alterations, shipping delays, etc. Try explaining that to your girls. My cousin who is in my wedding is pregnant and not due until January 6th so we have no idea what to do about ordering her dress! 
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_responses-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:09193e2b-e565-4cec-90d6-e86e39ad8919Post:1fb97b55-f0da-471f-b83e-e6d703c4298f">Re: No responses from maids</a>:
    [QUOTE]As far as your wedding being 8 months away goes, you are not being unreasonable. My dress shop wants my BM dresses ordered in November but definitely by Christmas for my May wedding to leave time for alterations, shipping delays, etc. Try explaining that to your girls. My cousin who is in my wedding is pregnant and not due until January 6th so we have no idea what to do about ordering her dress! 
    Posted by sweetpea6603[/QUOTE]

    Why don't you actually re-read OP's original post... Here are parts from it..

     I wanted all of my maids' input before I made a decision.  Only 2of my maids (my sister and one of my best friends) responded to both emails.  I got absolutely NOTHING from the other two!! 

    <strong>Oh well, then you don't get what you want then.  They obviously have no opinion and don't care about what the dress look like, so therefore bride should just take the advice from the bm's who did respond and then make a decision based on that.  Not everyone needs to respond, especially if they are easy going and do not care what dress the bride and other girls end up choosing.  </strong>

    I am just frustrated that I am getting NO responses at all out of the other 2 maids (one of whom is FIs sister).  I kinda feel like they don't really care at all, and maybe said yes just to save face. 
     <strong>yeah like I said, maybe those bm's really don't care what dress will be chosen.  They don't have to care. Maybe they just aren't too picky about it and will wear whatever.  If they don't care, then oh well.  No, they most likely didn't just say yes to save face.  That is being a little extreme.  Just because they don't care about what dress they will be wearing doesn't mean they said yes to be a bm just to save face.  One of my girls didn't even see the dress until after she ordered it and it came in, and she was fine with that</strong>

    Should I just ignore it, and make my decision and continue to send them the update emails even though they are not responding- or should I call them out on it??

    <strong>yes to answer the question, OP should jsut ignore it and pick whatever dress she and the other bm's decided on.  No she should not continue to update emails. She should just choose the dress without their input.  They had their chance to give their say and they didn't respond therefore you can go ahead and choose a dress.  Simple as that</strong>
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