Mother of the Bride help......

eel1990

Everyone in my family is very excited about my wedding in May 2012, except for my parents more so my mother. They love my future husband very much yet when every wedding stuff gets brought up I'm told there is plenty of time  and not to worry and then the subject is quickly changed. I never pictured my mother being the kind of mother of the bride who would have wedding magazines waiting on me the night after I got engaged but I didn't think she would be like this. Is it because they're paying for my wedding, or am I over reacting and shouldn't worry since my wedding is over a year away. Or is she just not a wedding person?

Monte2010

I understand.  I feel like sometimes my mom gets so caught up with what is going on right at the moment that she doesn't even think about the future.  When I was starting to feel the way that you are I told my mom that I felt like she wasn't excited about my wedding and it really meant alot to me to have her involved.  That seemed to help a little.  I think that sometimes things just seem so big and overwhelming that it is just easier for some to say "oh we can do that later" or "oh we can talk about that later" when all that really does is add to your anxiety level.  Have you tried talking to your mom about how you feel?

sister2groom

How exactly do you know they're paying? I ask because the method in which they brught it up might eb a clue.

They could be feeling badly they can't afford the wedding they want to give you.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mother-of-bride-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:0b0398a3-db6d-4f5a-8e27-37a899e04ec7Post:acebea10-16d9-42ff-8c13-2923be4ed32c">Mother of the Bride help......</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone in my family is very excited about my wedding in May 2012, except for my parents more so my mother. They love my future husband very much yet when every wedding stuff gets brought up I'm told there is plenty of time  and not to worry and then the subject is quickly changed. I never pictured my mother being the kind of mother of the bride who would have wedding magazines waiting on me the night after I got engaged but I didn't think she would be like this. Is it because they're paying for my wedding, or am I over reacting and shouldn't worry since my wedding is over a year away. Or is she just not a wedding person?
Posted by eel1990[/QUOTE]

I think there are perhaps a combo of factors going on right now. She is probably still dealing with the fact that her baby girl is growing up and getting married. That reality is hard for a lot of Moms to swallow. And your wedding isn't for a year, so besides booking some of the major vendors (reception, church, photographer, baker & florist) there isn't a whole lot you need to do right now.

sarah42nd

Maybe they dont have the money to pay for the wedding at this moment.

jerseydevil

Well, over a year away is plenty of time and depending on how often you've brought it up, they may not even realize they are changing the subject so quickly. No one is as excited as your wedding as you will be and if you say that you already knew that your mom wouldn't be showering you with wedding magazines, I think that is a pretty good indictation that she is just not that into the nitty gritty details of wedding planning.

You know your parents best, so if you think it is related to money at all, then talk to them ASAP about what your expectations are and what they can afford so that you can clear the air and avoid a lot of tension and drama in the future.

shan87

My Mom was the same way. She was excited, but thought it was too early to plan. I am a huge planner and did it on my own. Now that we are 3 months away she is in full blown wedding mood. Just give her some time!

mandi921vh

The money situation sounds a little funny, I would just talk to her about it.

eel1990

Thanks for the advice. She and I kinda discussed things about the wedding planning a few months ago. I think we should just sit down again sometime soon and really talk things through. It really does makes since that it's a mix of everything with me growing up and her letting go along with just regular life stuff. Thanks for all the help!

ootmother2

In the time I have been on the boards, I find moms who want to do every singlefucking thing and those who wave it away as though it were a  pesky gnat.

for the most part, these hot and cold reactions don't have much to do with caring, loving, or even interest in the wedding. For every bride, there is a personality and for every mom a personality.  The never seem to run hot or cold at the same time.

Hang in there & good luck

shipsinthenight

The MoB of the bride whose wedding I will be in in May hasn't been excited about it from the start. In fact, she wasn't excited when the Fi started DATING her daughter. Everyone in this situation has known each other for at least 20 years. I know my bride/friend wishes her mom were more into her wedding, but her mom is concerned her daughter will repeat some of her mistakes.  I seriously doubt that will happen however. Every mom has reasons for her feelings, whether they actually have any base or not. Talking with your mom is the best course. Unless she has some sort of issue with your fi himself, it's probably just that your wedding is a ways away, or the money issue.  If it is an issue with your relationship, she may not want to tell you this because she wants you to be happy and make your own choices. Hope it all works out. The bride always care the most about that planning anyway

phunluvin82

Like some others said, I wonder if it could be a $$ issue.  Your mom may be thinking of how they are going to save up enough money to pay for the wedding...so it might make her feel better to keep reassuring herself that 'there's still plenty of time'...as in still plenty of time to get the $$$ together!

Also, there really IS still plenty of time...and you may find that she will be much more 'into it' when you get into planinng the smaller 'fun' stuff like decor, or flowers, or favors, the DRESS(!), etc.  Like other people said, once major stuff (like venue, caterer, photographer) are booked...the other planning will come much later.  Is it possible that she might just be less interested in this particular phase of the planning?

AmethystMSU

I'm not judging here, but I wonder if she might be worried about you getting married so young. Based on your screen name here, I'm guessing you're 20-21 years old, but I could be wrong. That doesn't mean you're too young to get married, but it is a bit on the young side compared to the "average" age, so maybe she is just concerned about that? It may have nothing to do with your FI, just with you and your age.

If the 1990 doesn't mean the year you were born, then please ignore my post