My apologies

kittenly

If I offended anyone with my first post.  I was surprised by the switch from comments and opinions to assumptions of who I am as a person based on what how my words were interpreted.  And yes, it hurt to.  U realize this method of communication is impersonal, but I am still a person with feelings. 

I came to this website, for ideas for the wedding.  I came to this board to ask a question.  Did I like the answer?  No, it's not what I expected.  Did I complain on a regional board?  Yes, and got support and encouragement.  Did I feel support here when I questioned why something is a certain way?  No, all I heard was (paraphrasing) this is the way it is. Have I let this all go?  I have now.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_apologies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:0b4b1003-c7d9-4634-8fab-8950f26dfecdPost:c8c10777-581e-4ac8-927b-2735797d256b">My apologies</a>:
[QUOTE]If I offended anyone with my first post.  I was surprised by the switch from comments and opinions to assumptions of who I am as a person based on what how my words were interpreted.  And yes, it hurt to.  U realize this method of communication is impersonal, but I am still a person with feelings.  I came to this website, for ideas for the wedding.  I came to this board to ask a question.  Did I like the answer?  No, it's not what I expected.  Did I complain on a regional board?  Yes, and got support and encouragement.  Did I feel support here when I questioned why something is a certain way?  No, all I heard was (paraphrasing) this is the way it is. Have I let this all go?  I have now.
Posted by kittenly[/QUOTE]
I'm not entirely sure what the point of your post is, but good for you?<div>
</div><div>You heard a lot of things that weren't said, so you can only blame yourself for your own interpretation.  You seem like the kind of person who needs to be handled with care, so your local is probably the best place to go.  I would have hoped that by this stage of your life you'd learn to listen to blunt honesty and not react like a teenager, but clearly I was wrong.  Good luck.</div>

orangecrush32

Don't get so bent out of shape. You don't know these people and will never meet them. However, when you ask for opinions, you get them. You won't always agree, but as an almost 50 year old woman, you should be used to this.

trix1223

ummmm.  okay.  that's very nice.

AutumnFair

So do feel better about bashing us on your local board? Your seem like someone who loves drama, if one person was mean to you then call them out but no, you just keep stirring the pot with posting on your local board and now this random post. There was zero mean intentions in my post and for you to secretly bash the whole is rude. My mother had candlelighters (her nephew and brother) at her wedding 33 years ago and even she has said that they were not consider WP.

Anyway, it is too bad you won't stay and post more because you might start to learn more about wedding stuff. I was really raw on what things do and don't have to be when it comes to weddings, I'm pretty sure I had heated debates with regs on certain topics. But as I stuck around I did learn things that I would never thought about before. So hope you have fun, I'm sure your nieces will enjoy the honor of being apart of your wedding. ^_^

bablingbrooke

I don't mean to judge people by age, but the level of sensitivity and lack of maturity and self-awareness here is just staggering.

slave4dance

Here we go again. Kittenly posted this to apologize and vent and now you're making a big deal of it again. Seriously some of you need to find another hobby than the knot.com community boards if that is the way you are going to be. She's clearly saying she's letting it go and you're all adding fuel to the fire again. Maybe you all are the ones who need to let it go. Not everyone will agree with what you say or "how" you say it. It's a message board, and thats what it is, a message board.. I'm getting really tired of reading the same nasty comments that are thrown out as "tough love". One person's opinion will not be the same as another and that is OKAY. It's life,  it is what it is. We all agree to disagree. No need for the negativity. 

Muffin'sMom

To slave4dance.....

No, she did not post to apologize...not really.  She posted to "forgive" us and to let us know that she talked about us on her local board.

Yes, I am a mom,  Yes, I occasionally give opinions that are contrary to what the poster wants to hear.  However, and this is the kindest language I can think of to express this, if you are only interested in people who agree with you then you should stay home alone.  Real life is not puppies, sequins, and rainbows. 

I don't say I'm right...I say what I think.  So do you.   

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_apologies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:0b4b1003-c7d9-4634-8fab-8950f26dfecdPost:7dc555f5-e8e8-4685-ae20-325815f3085e">Re: My apologies</a>:
[QUOTE]Here we go again. Kittenly posted this to <strong>apologize and vent and now you're making a big deal of it again</strong>. Seriously some of you need to find another hobby than the knot.com community boards if that is the way you are going to be. <strong>She's clearly saying she's letting it go and you're all adding fuel to the fire again</strong>. Maybe you all are the ones who need to let it go. Not everyone will agree with what you say or "how" you say it. It's a message board, and thats what it is, a message board.. I'm getting really tired of reading the same nasty comments that are thrown out as "tough love". One person's opinion will not be the same as another and that is OKAY. It's life,  it is what it is. We all agree to disagree. No need for the negativity. 
Posted by slave4dance[/QUOTE]

You know she made 2 more EXTRA posts about this issue, so the only person making it a big deal and adding fuel is her. If she would have let the thread die then of course, nothing would come of it. But she didn't she secretly went to her board and cried to the locals that EVERYONE was being mean. So yeah, I do not like to be called out for what advice I give and then say "your mean". If the OP is so freaking uptight about what people write thinking that "out to get her" then she needs to chillax. You know what happen was, it's what goes on many times on the knot boards. A bride asks a question, we give our answer, Bride doesn't like the answer or advice and starts playing the defensive "ZOMG, you don't know me, you don't know MY situation", then leaves, though I'm surprised that she ran to the local boards to cry about it which is cowardly, IMHO.

bablingbrooke

She may call it an apology, but it ain't an apology.

aerinpegadrak

Slave4dance, if the post was actually apologetic, you might have a point.  It may be titled "my apologies", but the content of the post is entirely "I did absolutely nothing wrong."

orangecrush32

bablingbrooke, i want a like button for that one. haha

Manwaithiel

Oh my gosh.

The ONLY THING that sounded like an "insult to your character" was Brooke saying you "sounded" like a brat. She did NOT say, "You are a brat." She said you sounded like one. That's a very valid opinion since you basically threw a fit when everyone told you needed to drop the "Isn't this MY wedding" card (and yes you did say that). She never said you WERE anything, just that you were coming across as this.

You could have just taken a step back and maybe tried to explain yourself, but you basically got all uppity because it was YOUR wedding.

Everything else was people saying you didn't need to dictate their attire because they're not part of the WP. That you should save money and let them buy what they want. That you should not let it worry you at all. These are all good things and are said to help you. If you're still hooked on your childhood fantasy and just can't get over the "look" of "your" wedding, then yes, you sound too immature to get married.

Notice how I said "sound".

And don't go getting all upset about people telling you honest things and then going and CRYING to your local board. What you did was far more childish than anything you can claim people did to you on your thread. If you're nearly 50 years old, I don't know how you can justify crying to mommy like that as anything but immature. Think about that.

You're passive aggressive "apology" is a poor excuse for one, btw.

lalap69

This has to be one of the most passive-aggressive supposed apologies I have ever seen.

JFC, you're oversensitive.

kittenly

I sincerely apologize and try to explain myself, but then get slammed all over again.  For those who have been less than constructive in your comments, you may want to consider reading a post, or better yet your reply before sending  - and I'm not saying if for me, but for others I've seen blasted on these boards.  I've never come across so much sarcasm and put downs.  And I am not talking about agreeing with opinions, I'm talking about the attitudes that come across in some of the posts.  Tell me what you think, don't attack my family.  Just like the "mom" will tell it like it is, I will protect the people I care about .What ticked me off was people telling me I was "duped" by my sister and she did her wedding "wrong" wasn't exactly sweetness now was it.  So I took offense at that and let it get the best of me.

Autumn, dId I say personally list anyone and say they were mean? Manwaithiel, did I say I was "dictating" what people would wear who are participating in the wedding?  No to both.  In fact I said my MOH was picking out her own dress!  Give me a break!  

People  think I'm immature because I used the phrase "MY wedding..." well my fiance he wants me to make the plans and just loop him in sp, yes that is the way I refered to it.  But hello, I do know it's not all about me and it's insulting to have people assume that becasue of a word.  And there are many people who are helping me plan the wedding so it's not "all about me" no matter what this group of strangers think.  I have been told that I "sound" immature, like a brat, etc but considering some of the things that have been posted to me, I think that's the proverbial pot/kettle scenario.

To those who have been helpful with advice and not insulting to me, my sincere thanks amd best wishes for happiness - I'm sure you will be blessed by it.   And to those of you who are itching to reply to this, save your self some time - I have requested my account to be deleted immediately.

orangecrush32

People only can get what you give them. So when you say MY wedding, it indicates that you mean it's YOUR wedding. We can only read what you write.

And I hope you have a wonderful marriage/life.

bablingbrooke

My god for someone who claims she doesn't want drama you sure do stir the pot a lot.  Leave the thread a lone and it'll die out; you keep posting passive-aggressive responses so it stays alive.  You don't need to delete your account to stop posting on the boards. 

These threads did not remotely involve sarcasm or put-downs.  Try posting this on E and see what responses you would have gotten.  I really hope you're lying about your age, because I find it hard to believe that you are.  If you are telling the truth, and if this is the worst amount of sarcasm you've come across in 48 years you sure have led a nice life.  You keep hearing things that aren't there and twisting statements into what they're not.  You don't like it here?  Fine.  I wish you didn't feel that way, I wish you'd take some of your advice to heart, and I wish you wouldn't dismiss it out of hand.  At the very least I wish you'd just let it go.  I think you would have found it helpful.

I'll let you have the last word because you clearly seem to need it.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_apologies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:0b4b1003-c7d9-4634-8fab-8950f26dfecdPost:30ecdf1b-f32d-4ab4-a86d-5576d17cb927">Re: My apologies</a>:
[QUOTE]I sincerely apologize and try to explain myself, but then get slammed all over again.  For those who have been less than constructive in your comments, you may want to consider reading a post, or better yet your reply before sending  - and I'm not saying if for me, but for others I've seen blasted on these boards.  I've never come across so much sarcasm and put downs.  And I am not talking about agreeing with opinions, I'm talking about the attitudes that come across in some of the posts.  Tell me what you think, don't attack my family.  Just like the "mom" will tell it like it is, I will protect the people I care about .What ticked me off was people telling me I was "duped" by my sister and she did her wedding "wrong" wasn't exactly sweetness now was it.  So I took offense at that and let it get the best of me. Autumn, dId I say personally list anyone and say they were mean? Manwaithiel, did I say I was "dictating" what people would wear who are participating in the wedding?  No to both.  In fact I said my MOH was picking out her own dress!  Give me a break!   People  think I'm immature because I used the phrase "MY wedding..." well my fiance he wants me to make the plans and just loop him in sp, yes that is the way I refered to it.  But hello, I do know it's not all about me and it's insulting to have people assume that becasue of a word.  And there are many people who are helping me plan the wedding so it's not "all about me" no matter what this group of strangers think.  I have been told that I "sound" immature, like a brat, etc but considering some of the things that have been posted to me, I think that's the proverbial pot/kettle scenario. To those who have been helpful with advice and not insulting to me, my sincere thanks amd best wishes for happiness - I'm sure you will be blessed by it.   And to those of you who are itching to reply to this, save your self some time - I have requested my account to be deleted immediately.
Posted by kittenly[/QUOTE]