I love my mom but... (vent)

orangespiders

I love my mom but... she is very difficult at times. My dad is a POS and is totally out of the picture so she will be walking me down the aisle. I am very excited to have her do this as she has really been there for me.

However, she is dead set on wearing jeans and t-shirt. I begged her and she said perhaps a nice blouse but never a dress or skirt or pant suit not in a million years. I accept her how she is so I will deal. Not that I'm fancy dresser either.

Also, she makes rude noises or comments whenever I talk about cost. FI and I are paying for the entire wedding. No biggie. We should come in less that $6000 which I mentioned to my mom yesterday. Really, it's not that much, we can afford it, we are not asking anyone for any financial help at all. Why can't people just say "oh that's nice" or nothing at all.

There, I said it... now hopefully I can move on and let it go... thanks for listening!

AutumnFair

Yikes, you have a challenge on your hands with mom. Maybe try to make it a Mother/Daughter day and go to the department store to find something for her.

Yeah, just try to limit wedding talk with her if she keeps making the snide remarks. And the classic "Bean Dip" line aka change the subject has been used by thousands of Brides to parents, family, friends, random people.

[Deleted User]

I would try to sit down and have a talk with her. Explain to her that it is your special day and how happy you are for her to be walking you down the aisle, etc and you really want to look back on those pics and see her looking really nice. Like pp said, encourage her to find something cute and nice that she is comfortable in. If she doesnt like skirts or dresses, there are a lot of nice pant suits/outifts out there. It doesn't even have to be something really formal, just nice. Maybe give her options, like she can change after the formal pics are done.

If she is still unwilling to budge, let it go. I am not trying to be mean, but your Mom is not part of the WP, so she doesn't need to match anyone. Although she will be a bit casual, think of it this way: she is the one people will be talking about, not you.

MobKaz

Would she consider at least wearing black denim?  That--paired with footwear other than gym shoes---and a decent top---would look far nicer.  Paired with the right top, that can come across as downright do-able!

Muffin'sMom

What are you wearing...just out of curiosity?  I'm trying to picture...

orangespiders

Thanks for your support. I'm just venting where I know it won't make it back to her or hurt her feelings. She's never been a girly girl and I'm not exactly girly myself. However, I am aspiring to be a lady someday.

This is the dress I am wearing. Mostly I just get frustrated with her negativity at times. I should just be more patient and tolerant with her. Just because I choose to be girly for a day doesn't mean she has to do so as well.

Lisa8888

Tough problem. I don't know if there is a solution. Perhaps there is some way for jeans and a blouse to look a little dressier. I truly understand your mother has style convictions. I would have hoped that she would have been able to dress up a little for your special day. You can try again talking to her but in the end, if she wears her jeans and Tshirt, it won't ruin how beautiful you will look. Don't fret over it. Someday you will look back at your wedding photos and laugh about it. 

I-am-me

I agree with Lisa. And if you can't change your mom's mind on the jeans, I definitely agree with the PP who mentioned black jeans- pair them with nice but comfortable shoes (not sneakers) and a nice blouse and they can almost pass for dress slacks. Plus I would think the people who know your mom will probably just be like "yeah, that's just typical [Name]. Some things never change" and laugh it off. Good luck!