Moms and Maids

What should I tell MOTG to wear?

FI's mom is asking what to wear to the wedding.  My mom just got her dress and it's  gold/champagne color, all BP will be in black but I'd prefer her not to wear black.  Accent color for the wedding is bright yellow (BMs carrying yellow callas, etc)...what colors would look good?

Re: What should I tell MOTG to wear?

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You tell your FMIL to wear whatever she feels beautiful and is comfortable in.  She's an adult who has been dressing herself for years.  She's NOT part of the WP, so she doesn't have to match.You can show her pics of the WP dress, and your mom's dress so she has an idea of level of formality.  Beyond that, it's her call:  color, style, everything.You get to tell your attendants what to wear.  No one else.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    Tell her to wear any dress she loves that looks great on her. You do not tell her what colors to wear. She picks and it is not related to your wedding colors but instead to what looks lovely on her.  
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    She doesn't have to coordinate.  Tell her to pick anything she likes in any color she likes-anything that she feels good in. I know that in some areas black is frowned upon, but black can also be classic and timeless so if she wants to wear it, let her.  She won't be confused for a BM.
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't "tell" her anything other that the colors your mom and the BMS are wearing.   I'm pretty certain she can take it from there.
  • edited December 2011
    Sorry, maybe I wasn't totally clear...she's asking me what she should wear.  I'd certainly never want to mandate that she wear one thing over another and I've already told her that she should wear whatever she likes best, but she's asked again what color, cut, etc she should look for.  I've told her what my mother is wearing and she still says she needs guidance.  I'm really just looking for a color palate that would look good with my colors of black/white and accent color yellow, and that wouldn't clash with my mom's champagne/gold colored dress.  Any ideas?
  • edited December 2011
    When she asks you simply say " I love you and whatever you want to wear and look great in is perfect" Be gracious this will earn you a lot of points.
  • steffenfamsteffenfam member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Maybe you and she could go shopping together, if she's needing that much "guidance".  My daughter recently got married, her colors were navy blue and cream.  Her MIL wore a navy blue dress and I wore a brown dress.  Neither of us were in any photos with the bridal party so it didn't even matter what colors we wore.  To reiterate, IT DIDN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT COLORS WE WORE.
  • TruchanaTruchana member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Coming from another bride who's fmil also asked what colors she should wear, I think you be honest with her.  Give her your suggestions. If you ask the mothers on this board, they will always say let her wear whatever she wants.  I think most moms want to actually fit the theme, formality, and color scheme though and wouldn't want to stand out like she didn't know what heck was going on with the wedding planning the entire time.  If she's actually asking you for guidance, let her know of any colors you don't like or offer to go shopping with her.  Or put the question back to her, "Well the color scheme is gold, black, and yellow, what do you think would be pretty?" and then help her come up with ideas.  I think plum purple would be pretty. I'm not a fan of yellow on people but certain shades might be pretty. A deep magenta pink would be pretty.  A deep burgandy.  I like black as well.  I would also take pictures of your bridesmaids dresses over and maybe show her your moms so she knows the formality of it.  She's not going to watn to show up in a short sundress if every one else is in long evening gowns.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks, Truchana! That was definitely helpful...I think she and her daughter (who is a BM) are coming up from OOT to shop next month, and those colors sound like a great place to start!! I appreciate the help! :)
  • wallillabouwallillabou member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yo could always try a green color that could match in nicely as the semi-accent in the stems of the callas. Even a darker green could be nice... though green is considered unlucky in some families (like mine) for any "key" ppl to be wearing, if it's not a silly superstition, you could try that.... Plus a beautiful emerald could go well with champagne/gold and black....  I also think going shopping with her sounds like a good idea - maybe she wants that but is just hesitant to ask outright...... suggest it and see what she says! My bet is she wants you to help her choose so she will fit in with the rest in pictures... not all women are fashion-forward and full of confidence in their choices! You could maybe use this as a chance to bond with her too... it could be a fun girl's day out and I bet it would score major points with FI :)Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    I think you go shopping with her.  You tell her and the girl at the shop exactly what you told us. And have fun! Take every opportunity you get to bond with your FMIL.  Now my thought when you said black and white and gold was silver, but maybe that is because my daughter is getting married near New Year's.  It really depends on what looks good on her. 
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