Moms and Maids

My parents not coming

Some of you may remember me talking about my parents and our situation.  I got an email yesterday and this is what it looked like:To:  Phyllis Q****Re:  The weddingWe will not be able to attend.M.A. H****The sentiment is overwhelming.  So, I sent this back.Dear Mom and Dad,I am sorry beyond measure that you will not be with us for your granddaughters special day.  I will let her know.Always,  PhyllisYou'd think after this many years of the ups and downs of someone with her problems...I'd be used to it.  Strangely, it continues to hurt.  Oh well, I will be surrounded by my family of choice.
My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!

Re: My parents not coming

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear that your parents are causing you this hurt.  But you're right....friends ARE the family you choose, as opposed (in your case) to the ones you're stuck with.I'm sure you'll have a magical, wonderful day at your DD's wedding-perhaps even more so because there won't be the chance of ill-timed or thoughtless remarks to make you feel bad.GL
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    All I can do echo my wise friend Trix and say how sorry I am. My former SIL always said that going back to people who are hurtful or toxic, looking for that warmth/love/understanding/etc is like going to a dry well looking for water.  She was so right. Please make a determined choice to embrace this day for what it is and those who have chosen to share it with you.  Your family of choice will rejoice with you. Trix and I have both been MOB's and I can't tell you what a wonderful day each of them has been.  Best wishes to you.
  • edited December 2011
    Hey Muffin's mom, Saw your reply on my post about my daughter's sperm donor dad not showing up, THEN saw this post so I can see where you're coming from. And believe me, some nasty nasty thoughts have gone through my head. Family of choice is the best anyone can have. Fortunately for us, the only bad blood one is her dad. But we've also, over time, "adopted" people. We can't stand the thought of someone spending a holiday alone so my parents have a couple extra daughters, I have a son and a daughter (not including the one that put me through the hell of labor). They're at every holiday, every special event. My friend Paula (my mom's favorite daughter at the moment) took the day off work to go to Ashley's college graduation. Her dad didn't show up. Paula is taking the two days before the wedding off to do anything we need her to do. There's a friend flying in from Sweden, and two more coming from Canada for the wedding.How much more love can one person ask for? We're thinking of it this way. Ashley has an incredible number of people who are spending a lot on airfare, hotels, taking time off work...all to be with her on her wedding day. Her *&[email protected]! dad and his girlfriend will be two lonely people sitting home, probably getting drunk. These two things show the pattern of our futures. Try to see it that way. It's going to hurt, it's always going to hurt, but pity for them might turn out to be the stronger emotion. In my case.....pity will show up when the red rage passes :-)Best wishes, it'll be a beautiful day with them, it'll be a beautiful day without them. Remember that.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies!  On my good days I know that I am loved by wonderful people.  Yesterday wasn't one of those days.  Today is better :)I guess you never quit hoping that they will somehow turn into real parents.....
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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