Different uses for Junior Bridesmaids?

mackenizeandjosh

My fiance has two nieces who I am not that close to. He feels obligated to incorporate them into our wedding some how and I already have what I would call a large bridal party with 7 bridesmaids and I do not want to look extravagant by having two more. Does anyone have any ideas for what I could use them for? They are 9 and 11. I don't like being mean and saying that I don't want them in the wedding but this is just becoming too much for me I NEED HELP!!!

marissa_claire

I know most people look down on program jobs and the like, but younger girls (like 15 and younger) have enjoyed those at the weddings I've been to.  I would tend to believe at 9 and 11 they would enjoy that, but I know not everyone on the Knot will agree with that assessment.  I'm just basing it on my experience.  It's probably something you should feel out with their mom before asking them.  If not, could you use candlelighters or something? 

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_different-uses-junior-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:18f9aaf0-0d19-4e1b-b5a8-23caa4534e5dPost:fd82a44c-db83-40b4-959f-ba46045395b7">Different uses for Junior Bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance has two nieces who I am not that close to. He feels obligated to incorporate them into our wedding some how and I already have what I would call a large bridal party with 7 bridesmaids and I do not want to look extravagant by having two more. Does anyone have any ideas for what I could use them for? They are 9 and 11. I don't like being mean and saying that I don't want them in the wedding but this is just becoming too much for me I NEED HELP!!!
Posted by mackenizeandjosh[/QUOTE]

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_different-uses-junior-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:18f9aaf0-0d19-4e1b-b5a8-23caa4534e5dPost:f82f6959-17e9-4ec6-93ba-de57ebbc5144">Re: Different uses for Junior Bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I know most people look down on program jobs and the like, but younger girls (like 15 and younger) have enjoyed those at the weddings I've been to.  I would tend to believe at 9 and 11 they would enjoy that, but I know not everyone on the Knot will agree with that assessment.  I'm just basing it on my experience.  It's probably something you should feel out with their mom before asking them.  If not, could you use candlelighters or something? 
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

When I do see guestbook or program passers it usually under 13-14 (before HS). They usually don't mind though I have seen some that get bored.  So I guess those jobs could be consider "kids" jobs.

Personally, if you do not have flower girls yet I still think it's an OK age for that area.

lalap69

Not everyone needs to be a part of the wedding - being a guest is an honour too.  Why does your FI feel obligated?  Are their parents or his family giving him a hard time?

If you're having a religious ceremony, maybe they could bear the gifts for the mass or something?  But really, I probably wouldn't incorporate them at all.

Summer2011Bride

If you do want to include them and were considering going the program hander route, I would ask them their opinion first. If they say no, you have your answer. I generally don't recommend having someone fill this job, but I have seen many younger kids do it and get excited about it. Having said that, I don't think you HAVE to include them. if neither of you are close to them, why do you feel obligated? Is their family pressuring it? Is FI's family?

My FI's mother was really gung-ho about having random cousins and what not read or do other things bc they're family, but we politely put our foot down. I think it is within your right to do the same.

RebeccaB88

I'm not sure I like the phrase 'use them for'. Feels demeaning to me.

MairePoppy

Could they serve as ushers?

JessicaE84

Honestly, little girls would probably just be so delighted to be in a wedding that they would be excited to do anything. They will just be happy to be included. Do you have little flower girls? Could they maybe walk down the aisle with them so that they are less nervous? Maybe that would be weird, I'm just throwing out ideas. My flower girl's uncle recently got married and she wasn't in that wedding but, to make her feel involved and special, she got to walk down the aisle at the beginning of the procession with the groom's father and she was very excited about it.

deb84

They are the perfect age to be candlelighters. 

stephdonjon

First ask them if they'd like to. I know when I was little I didn't care one or the other if I was in a wedding. Although, I agree with jessica, most little girls would probably love it. At that age, they probably wouldn't mind passing out programs or the like. I really like deb84's idea of having them light the candles. That could be really cute. 

sabatron

You should never feel obligated to keep adding people to your wedding roster.  You already have  presumably 14 people in your wedding party... that's huge in and of itself. I would designate the nieces as greeters, program passers or small passage readers if you're that worried about it.

kcronan21

When I was young, I was asked to hand out the birdseed (back when it was allowed) to the guests. I was also asked to greet guests at the reception. I asked them to sign the guest book, and told them where the gift table and drinks were.