Moms and Maids

Plus Sized Maids? Help!

Any one have some advice on how to delicately tackle the dress issue with a plus sized bridesmaid?

I want her to look awesome. I would never ask her to lose weight or change for my wedding. But I want to know what people think about dresses? We've all seen those maids who stand next to the bride all wearing the same strapless dress. Then there's that one girl, who looks like a stuffed sausage, uncomfortable and awkward. 
Sooo about my wedding. I have 3 maids and a MOH. all are non plus sized save for one. They're all wearing different dresses, but the colours are matching.

What looks good on larger girls? Should I suggest sleeves? is there a neckline that's more flattering than others? Any big no-no's?
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Re: Plus Sized Maids? Help!

  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Since you are giving them the option of picking their own dress (kudos to you on that) your plus size friend should be able to find something that she looks and more important feels comfortable in.

    My best friend is also a plus size and her main want was on with straps (specially to hold the girls in better), so I definitely suggest that. The style really does vary on even plus size ladies because most plus size woman carry their weight in different places. If it's more in their hips then an empire waist is more flattering, etc. The best thing she can do is to actually try on some dresses at a place like Davids that usually carry a wide range of sizes so she can find the style that suits her body type.
  • McKenna2012McKenna2012 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Let her pick her own dress.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think that letting them all choose their own style is perfect.  I did the same thing because all of my BM were different sizes and I wanted them to feel comfortable in what they were wearing.  My sister is plus size and she chose a dress that had flutter sleeves.  She doesn't like to bare her shoulders so I told her if she didn't find a dress that had wide straps or sleeves that she should just wear a cardigan.  
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    Coming from a plus-sized girl, definitely let her pick her own.  I would love to be able to go into a shop and just try on dresses until I find one I like and feel good in.  I think the uncomfortable larger bridesmaid thing comes from a dress that is ill-fitting and hasn't been properly sized, but also if she's forced to wear something she just isn't comfortable in. 

    The only thing I'd suggest is that you pick a line that has a dedicated plus sized line, not just being able to special order a standard dress to measure.  Those dresses aren't designed to be upsized like that, and can be more expensive to buy and far more expensive (and more difficult) to alter.  I've also found that not all designers will do their plus line in all colors, so make sure that the color you choose is available in all styles first. 
  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I have a plus sized maid and a tinny one.  I picked a flowing dress that ties at the waist.  It works on all of them, as its tailored but not too tailored and doesn't look tight anywhere.  But if your letting her pick why are you worried?  Do you think she dresses badly?  It seems like your letting it be her problem (finding a dress she looks good in) which is the best plan. 
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  • edited December 2011
    OP, you are one the right track letting them pick their own dresses. So let them do just that, pick their own dress. I am pretty sure she buys her own clothes and can figure out for herself what she looks good in. Don't say anything.
  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I had sizes 2-24, so I just told them to wear something black.  My two plus-sized maids went through a specialty retailer (kiyonna.com) and were very happy to have dresses that were actually designed for them rather than designed for a stick figure and scaled up. 
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  • MissTakMissTak member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    <div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">Thank you to everyone for your thoughts! </font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">I was mostly afraid of this:</font></div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">
    [QUOTE]Those dresses aren't designed to be upsized like that, and can be more expensive to buy and far more expensive (and more difficult) to alter.  
    Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

    </font><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">Does anyone know a line specifically for plus sized girls that they'd reccommend?</font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080">
    </font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#800080"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></font></div>
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    So far all I've looked at are Alfred Angelo and Bill Levkoff, but both seem to have a pretty good handle on plus sizes.  Haven't gotten too deep into it yet, though.
  • jjmm7554jjmm7554 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    a line is the best i am a size 20 and that is what looked best on me! and a lace up back is great to! (i got my dress from davides bridel.) you should just go and see what looks best on you when you find that dress you will know it! :) and dont go crazy about your siz unless you plan on changing your life style for the rest of you life it would look odd if you lost it for the wedding and then it all came back after!
  • tmwanyotmwanyo member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with letting her pick the dress. But sometimes I think plus sized girls may not look as good in a strapless dress is not because it is strapless but the wrong size(to small). Everyone likes to see a smaller size on the label but if it looks horrible your better with the bigger size.
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    Letting her pick the dress is probably the best way to go. Most people have a half way decent idea about what looks good on them and what makes them comfortable. Letting her have the freedom to select her own outfit will probably be a great relief to her. I wouldn't outrightly suggest sleeves, but it would be fine to tell the girls that they're free to pick sleeves or add shrugs/pashminas/etc. Then she can do what she feels most comfortable in and wont be offended in any way.

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  • MissTakMissTak member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Uh oh. NOW I'm dealing with denial. 
    I think she's lying about her sizes. Thankfully... I took her measurements today. But now I don't know what to do! Order it according to the measurements I took or let her order a WAY WAY too small of a dress?

     I just want her to look good and be comfortable! I don't want to say something rude or mean. But how do I keep her from setting herself up and looking terrible?!
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  • edited December 2011

    I agree with PP - letting her pick her dress is a great idea so she can get what fits her body. In my experience, a halter-top style looks really good on larger women b/c it helps hold them up and in and gives a flattering look. She can also have a matching wrap or sleeves made. I was a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding and one of the other bridesmaids was morbidly obese (like probably 400 pounds). She ordered the largest size that David's Bridal offered for our dresses and then she was able to have it altered by adding more fabric and making it bigger and adding sleeves. She looked great and it matched our dresses.

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  • Jeni1090Jeni1090 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Order according to measurements.  Just explain to her that the dress size is just a number-someone who wears street size 8 can end up in a 12 for some lines-and it can always be taken in.  This is coming from someone who is plus-sized, btw.  I did some research and expected to not be in a dress the same size as my street size.  She may not know about that.

    BTW-you said you measured her.  I would HIGHLY suggest getting a professional to measure her.  My friend's measurements of me were NOT the same as when the salon measured me.  I think placement of the tape is a bit different on us larger gals.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with many of the PPs' suggestions.  Continue to let your friend choose her own style of dress.  People usually have a good idea of what works on their bodies and what doesn't.  Plus-sized women are no different.

    Also, let the pros take her measurements.  Measuring myself or having a friend do it doesn't usually come out right, so I let the pros do it and it's for the best.  She may not be lying to you about her size.  It's just that firstly, clothing is cut differently depending on manufacturer, and that's just for street sizes.  Secondly, street sizing as a whole is totally different than couture/formalwear sizing.  I kind of knew this anyway, and then I finally sucked it up and started wedding dress shopping recently, and I was like 2-3 sizes larger in couture than in street sizing :-(. 

    Not sure about the sleeves/no sleeves debate.  Not all plus-sized women are shaped the same way.  Some plus-sized women, like myself, carry much of the weight in the chest/up top, while others are pear-shaped, and still others are hourglasses, and so on and so forth.  That said, I was surprised I looked good in a lot of the sleeveless dress selections, but the ones with sleeves looked pretty frumpy.  But in any case, good fit is essential to any BM looking good and feeling comfortable, regardless of size.
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