Moms and Maids
Options

Moms Needed! (As In Mom is the Bride)

OK.  In June 2010 I became engaged.  We set a date for Labor Day weekend 2011.  In January we found out we were expecting an unexpected guest due 3 weeks before the wedding.  Knowing my family, this baby will be up to two weeks late (unless it somehow decides to be born early or is induced early for being big for its size). 

Both his and my parents want us to move up the wedding.  I don't want to as much as I want to be married to my best friend as we both want a fall wedding.  But he sees a value in being married before our child is born. 

For you moms out there-what would you suggest? Moving up the wedding, keeping the date, or pushing the date back and why?  This is our first pregnancy.  So we really are looking at all angles and hearing what people have to say before we make a decision.

TIA!
Wedding Countdown Ticker BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Moms Needed! (As In Mom is the Bride)

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    You can't count on anything in regards to the due date.  The majority of babies are born between 37-42 weeks of gestation.  I'd move the wedding up at least 3 months, to be well clear of your due date.

    You can't count on baby to be late, and if it's early there's no way you can have a wedding with a newborn.  Talk to some other moms about the first 6 weeks of baby's life.  It's crazy.

    ETA:  Congrats on your new little one!
  • Options
    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moms-needed-mom-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:21911fe3-d48b-45ea-a91b-9163d5060cabPost:1442fa49-8a80-4fda-aa59-5b14b3648976">Moms Needed! (As In Mom is the Bride)</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK.  In June 2010 I became engaged.  We set a date for Labor Day weekend 2011.  In January we found out we were expecting an unexpected guest due 3 weeks before the wedding.  Knowing my family, this baby will be up to two weeks late (unless it somehow decides to be born early or is induced early for being big for its size).  Both his and my parents want us to move up the wedding.  I don't want to as much as I want to be married to my best friend as we both want a fall wedding.  But he sees a value in being married before our child is born.  For you moms out there-what would you suggest? Moving up the wedding, keeping the date, or pushing the date back and why?  This is our first pregnancy.  So we really are looking at all angles and hearing what people have to say before we make a decision. TIA!
    Posted by ASDH11[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I think you need to sit down with your FI and really think about the pros and cons of moving the wedding up or back (I think your original date is not going to work). Assuming you put your money down on certain vendors, you need to call them and see if certain dates will work out without losing much or any money. I know many people want certain theme weddings but unexpected things like babies can change the wants you have real fast. So call up your vendors to see what your options are for that and then sit down with your FI and talk/compromise on what you want.

    </div>
  • Options
    RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    Which is more important to you, a fall wedding or being married to the man you love and the father of your child? 

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Congratulations on the little peach : )

    IMO, the due date and wedding date are too close.

    At 3 weeks post-partum (if you deliver by your due date), you are going to be still recovering from the birth, sleep deprived, constipated  and you'll have sore, leaky boobs ( sorry). Your baby probably won't be on a schedule so soon and his immune system will be too immature to take him to a large family gathering. If you deliver late, as your family members have, you might not be able to attend the wedding, at all.

    You should consider rescheduling your wedding for a time when you and your new husband will be able to fully enjoy it.
                       
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP.  You really should move your wedding up or wait a year.  IMO, I would move it up a few months.  Bonus is,  will have a wonderful excuse to not have to lose weight for the wedding and be a glowing bride.  Just because you can't have the wedding this fall, doesn't mean you can't do a fall wedding in the spring!  It would be different.  GL and congrats!
    Blog Planning Site Anniversary 2007- Fell down stairs, herniated 4 disks, Degenerative Disk Disease, Facet Arthritis Perfectly healthy previous to this fall. 2008- Diagnosed Hypothyroid 2010- Diagnosed severe Vitamin D deficiency and Chronic Mono 2011- Diagnosed Rheumatoid Arthritis, Carpal Tunnel, and Calcified Tendinitis in right shoulder
  • Options
    katheriner89katheriner89 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moms-needed-mom-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:21911fe3-d48b-45ea-a91b-9163d5060cabPost:0846a933-c1da-42ee-a615-6b591ea61611">Re: Moms Needed! (As In Mom is the Bride)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with PP.  You really should move your wedding up or wait a year.  IMO, I would move it up a few months.  Bonus is,  will have a wonderful excuse to not have to lose weight for the wedding and be a glowing bride.  Just because you can't have the wedding this fall, doesn't mean you can't do a fall wedding in the spring!  It would be different.  GL and congrats!
    Posted by bosoxy[/QUOTE]

    This. I say either move it up or wait a year. You will not want to be worrying about a baby & a wedding a couple months after giving birth. My cousin was in the same situtation, but they waiting a year- It didn't mean anything to them about not being married before children (like some people are) If your FI really wants to be married before your child is born, I say move up the day.
    Good Luck & congrats!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    My best friend was ina similar situation. They had planned their wedding for Oct 15, 2010, but they were surprised with a new baby on Nov 3rd. Instead of having a huge wedding, they went to the court and got married and they are planning to have a reception and possibly a vow renewal in a few years. Originally they had planned to do it this year, but the husbands best friends are getting married on the same day. Maybe this could be an option for you too?

    congrats on the baby!
    A and B
    Visit The Knot!Visit The Knot!Visit The Knot!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    For the sake of knowing that if you wait until after the baby is born to get married, that it'll be somewhat more stressful on you as a couple, trying to juggle a baby and a wedding- I'd just move it up a couple months before your due date. There's no reason to further stress yourself when you have the opportunity to do it this way.
    Anniversary
  • Options
    mdd123082mdd123082 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What about a destination wedding ahead of baby's arrival? This could effectively operate as a "babymoon" (honeymoon or special trip, pre-baby) in addition to a memorable way to enjoy extra time with everyone important to you before you add to your family.
    Enjoy some sunshine or any special destination before baby- say your vows, have your cake, flowers, and dancing, and keep it focused around you 3 :)
    Destination weddings don't necessarily mean people won't come, either- my bro & sister in law had one in the Bahamas a few years ago, and almost 70 guests came in support of their union! (Bonus- all-inclusives may mean food & alcohol are included = cost-savings.)


  • Options
    edited December 2011
    'I'm new and I know this is not the right place to ask this question, but I don't know where the right place would be. I see $$ on things that are supossed to help you price things but I don't know the value of each $. Does anyone know or could someone tell me where i could find that info? Thanks for the help!
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I am not a mom but if I were to become preg right now, I would move it up or wait until after the child is born so the baby can be there with you... and in a cute little outfit!  That would be precious for sure :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Poppy! Just the insight I was looking for!  Everyone else's thoughts on moving up the wedding or not are considerably older and had difficult labors at the time they had their kids.  Not saying their input is off-the-point but I wanted to hear from alot of people. 

    The good news is the wedding is all planned out it's just a matter of getting the dresses and tuxes in for the bridal party and special guests! 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    I would wait.  I had a friend who was pregnant when she got married and I don't think she enjoyed her wedding as much as she would have; she looked hot and uncomfortable, had a limited choice of wedding dresses that would fit her at that point, she couldn't drink, and she said she had to pee like 8 times and her poor bridesmaids had to hold her dress up.  It sounded like a nightmare to me, personally.  Is there a reason you need to be married before the baby?
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Bottie-No there's no reason which is why I did not see a problem in moving my September date.  The parents wanted us to for legal reasons.  Unmarried should stuff hit the fan during labor my parents would still have the right to make the decisions about me and the baby and my poor fiance would be shafted.  Being able to get custody of the baby would be an uphill battle for him as my parents could just take the baby if I went into a coma.  Neither set of parents want that to happen but it's a reality that may occur.

    In the end, we decided to move up the wedding to April 7 2011 courthouse-style and may do our originally planned wedding in October when the baby will be about 2 months old.  At the time I will be about 20-22 weeks along.

    I thoroughly appreciate everyone's thoughts on this subject and wish happy planning on your big day.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards