Mom is upset we're not serving hard liquor.

RyanStacie

Our reception venue is in a barn, and does NOT have a traditional bar (we'll be setting up a long folding table in one corner).  To save money (my fiance and I are both actors, and paying for our whole wedding), AND so that we do not have to stress about stocking a full bar all evening, we will be serving beer and wine only.  My mother is upset because her "uncle from Minnesota only drinks scotch" and my "grandpa, her dad, only drinks manhattans".  She has offered to pay for the liquor (although somewhat reluctantly; I can read her pretty well).  As a response, we suggested offering one 'signature cocktail', but she said it wasn't "a great idea" (we're also not crazy about the idea).  Our reception venue is open until 11pm; afterwards, from midnight-2am, we're paying to keep the hotel bar open (although guests will need to purchase their own drinks).  BOTTOM LINE: Any suggestions on how to handle Mom?  And are we being rude for JUST offering beer and wine at the reception? THANKS so much!

jessshirey

I think beer and wine is a good option for what you can afford. I think that by telling your mom that she can pay for the liquror was reasonable. She's just have to deal with it if its that big of a deal. At the end of the day is it really going to matter if theres liquror or not. If possilbe could those people who want to drink it be able to bring it them selves?

marissa_claire

Beer and wine is just fine.  If someone only drinks one type of poison then they are considered to be picky and you don't really need to accommodate picky people.  If it were food and you wanted chicken but you have an uncle that only eats beef, that would be his problem.  

I pushed for this at our wedding too because I think a full bar means - A) FI's old frat brothers getting way more drunk than they would on beer and b) more money!  FI insisted because his family's the same as yours, but I've been to plenty of weddings with just wine and beer and been fine PLUS I don't personally know anyone who will refuse a glass of wine.  

Tell your mom it's silly to offer a full bar on the account of two people.

heyimbren

It isn't rude at all to offer only beer and wine.

But I also don't see the problem with just letting her pay for the hard liquor if that's what she's insisting on? I don't think it does you any harm if she's paying. I think your guests will appreciate it.

aerinpegadrak

Ditto bren: if she's willing to pay, what's the big deal?  If most of your guests will be satisfied with beer and wine, it probably won't be that much of an extra cost.

Muffin'sMom

Tell them to BYOB if they are THAT picky.  Chances are that it is not your uncle or grandpa complaining...I'm sure that they will gladly drink whatever is there.  Smile sweetly and tell her that she is free to bring a flask.

SSaltzman87

Offering just beer and wine is perfectly fine, it's not rude at all. If your mom is THAT insistent on having hard liquor-she can foot the bill for that. I think that's a fair compromise.

I'm personally not a big fan of beer or wine, so having some sort of signature cocktail or even the option to have a simple mixed drink (i.e. rum and coke) would be a nice touch.

RyanStacie

Thanks, everyone!  I truly appreciate the feedback.  I just don't want to completely inconvenience anyone, or be rude without realizing it.  

lalap69

There's nothing wrong with offering just beer and wine, but if it's so important to mom that she's willing to pay for it (and make sure you see that money upfront), I don't see why you wouldn't let her?

Caitsidhe

tell her if she is that upset about it, maybe she can fund a fully open bar. tell her you have higher priorities to worry about, financially. Youd rather have nice decorations for pictures, nice food for people to eat.

ciaraman

I don't think there's anything at all wrong with beer and wine. My parents and I had a very similar debate - I told them if they needed liquor that badly, they could pay for it.  (which, FYI, they decided to do).   If the main issue is truly the money, I think that's a good compromise.  But if you really don't want liquor for other reasons, then I think you're perfectly justified in sticking to your guns and only offering beer and wine.